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Renata evolution, comparing the first promotional picture and the last one. Wow. :U
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New pages of Chapter 24 up!
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XDragoon #24: The 50 year torment
Script, Art and Colors: Felipe Marcantonio
Translation Revision: Jim Eriksson
Pages: 48
June 2013
ENGLISH
http://xdragoon.com/comics/en/024/index.php
PORTUGUESE
http://xdragoon.com/comics/pt/024/index.php
Tumblr: http://felipeyuski.tumblr.com/
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/xdragoon
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/XDrag.....90397107674496
Facebook Discussion Group: http://www.facebook.com/groups/139294429443332/
Renata evolution, comparing the first promotional picture and the last one. Wow. :U
---
New pages of Chapter 24 up!
----
XDragoon #24: The 50 year torment
Script, Art and Colors: Felipe Marcantonio
Translation Revision: Jim Eriksson
Pages: 48
June 2013
ENGLISH
http://xdragoon.com/comics/en/024/index.php
PORTUGUESE
http://xdragoon.com/comics/pt/024/index.php
Category All / Human
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 1280 x 949px
File Size 119.5 kB
Page 17
"Are you allright?" Allright is a common misspelling of all right/alright.
Page 20
"The last 50 years I have been building up to this moment." This is kind of an awkward phrase with the "I" before the "building up". Were you trying to say "The last 50 years I have been preparing for this moment"?
Page 22
"50 years for this spare me the melodrama..." Definitely a run-on here. Put a question mark after "this".
Page 23
"I thought using 25% of the energy would be enough to take you down." I'm confused. When you say "the", it sounds like the energy is important. Did you mean to say "my" instead of "the"?
"She rarely used that technique." I think this statement could benefit from being rewritten as "She has rarely ever used that technique."
"Are you allright?" Allright is a common misspelling of all right/alright.
Page 20
"The last 50 years I have been building up to this moment." This is kind of an awkward phrase with the "I" before the "building up". Were you trying to say "The last 50 years I have been preparing for this moment"?
Page 22
"50 years for this spare me the melodrama..." Definitely a run-on here. Put a question mark after "this".
Page 23
"I thought using 25% of the energy would be enough to take you down." I'm confused. When you say "the", it sounds like the energy is important. Did you mean to say "my" instead of "the"?
"She rarely used that technique." I think this statement could benefit from being rewritten as "She has rarely ever used that technique."
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