Not really sure how to start this, so I may as well cut to the chase. Months ago I thought perhaps I was non binary. I started use they/them pronouns, touched up my appearance a bit and tried to no look masc looking. Eventually I went on a trip to Vegas with my partner to visit a friend of hers. Since we were going to the strip, I figured it wouldn't hurt to wear some make-up because we wanted to do a "girls night". Mind you, I didn't put too much on. I only did some basic foundation, bronzer and a bit of eye shadow.

The night finally ends and we get an uber to take us home. The three of us sat in the back seats, but then we noticed one of our seat belts somehow got stuck, making the uber driver take a few moments to try to fix it. My partner and her friend got out of the car to allow the driver the extra space, leaving me in the car by myself (my seatbelt was fine). The driver looked over at me and said, "Don't worry young lady, you don't have to get out."

Hearing that sparked something in me. The years of being called, "Sir", "Buddy", "Bud", 'Dude" and "Mister" always seemed to rub me the wrong way. However, being called "Young lady" did not bother me. I liked it.

Fast forwarding after the vacation, I took notes on some make up guides and decided to give it another shot. I already ended up getting a new haircut to try something new (I got a wolf cut and it looked really good on me) so adding the make up, a skirt and a proper top would help me pass a bit more. I was right. Looking into the mirror, I no longer saw a man. I saw this girl I wanted to be.

Turns out for years I've been doing little changes and I didn't really think to much of it.

I guess it started back in high school, I was dating a guy and I wanted to be more fem around him when we were not on campus. I did a lot of lady like things and even acting a bit more fem with him. But at a glance I assumed I was just trying to go for a Femboy vibe. But as years went by and I was now in new relationship with  StarfallHybrid, I still continued to look at female clothing and make up stuff in secret. Took me years to finally tell my partner I liked this stuff.

But when I looked in that mirror, it felt different than Vegas. Felt different from the years of crossdressing. Felt different than when I was trying to have Femboy vibes.

I cried. Why did it take me this long to see it?

Now I have been talking to other trans friends I know and been communicating with my partner to see where I am with this gender affirming journey I am taking. My partner as been using she/her pronouns with me at home. With talks and little subtle changes, I made an appointment in a few months from now to talk to my provider about getting gender affirming care to start transitioning.

Not sure what else to add, so I think I'll call it here.