She/Her/They/Bug

11/11/25
Pouring my little heart out there for anyone reading.
This is not slander nor do I name names, it's my voice yelling into the void, maybe finding a reader who is as 'in the dumps' as I am.

Recently single, now my ex is still failing to communicate with me effectively.
(Is another title for this journal, haha)

Communication with anyone is difficult, but listening and not shutting down when someone is trying to communicate effectively (Getting their thought across in a non aggressive, almost pleading manner to be understood) is a common curtesy. This day and age people can just ghost one another, block and remove without batting an eye. Hence the topic of this journal! :D
~~~~~

My ex (of 5 years), while having his quirks like everyone does, always seemed to struggle with communication. We share friends and it's always obvious he never really formed connections with them, as if preemptively knowing a friendship won't last. Until along came a furry, who brought a whole new side of my ex, a side I haven't seen for a LONG time. The speed on which my ex just shared EVERY little detail to this essential stranger within WEEKS of knowing him, they were like glue, like brothers who finally found each other! Of course at that time I was still dating my ex, and suspected something sexual/cheating at play, but I was reassured there was none. But dear reader, this man didn't tell me he fell out of love with me 2-3 years prior, no he strung me along most likely due to social suicide if he just broke it off without a 'back up', and that furry that came along? The spark to the dynamite.

My quiet loveless world full of communication issues and tension slowly simply faded away, my heart broke, tears have been shed and I am learning to be single again in my late 20's life. The break up was not like fire, or explosions or even chasing him away from the friends we shared. Rather I was learning to be myself, to set boundaries and open up to my bestie about things I kept private only between my ex and me. Meanwhile my ex and his furry friend scurried off, spending time together where it used to be me, my spot filled and easily replaced.

Now dear reader, this gets complicated because I didn't chase away my ex from our shared friends (To be honest I was the social one, I am the chaos gremlin that stole their hearts). Things after the breakup was.. tense. Learning to stand up for myself and put boundaries up to save myself from heartache as I communicated with my ex sparsely. He had his furry (+ other furries off in a different place, never met them lol). I had my people (Not furries but weebs-ish), everything was calm, peaceful even. Until I started standing up for myself, expressed my emotions when he says certain things directed at me, which were in NO WAY nice or funny, especially not to a fresh ex girlfriend. Less communication + Boundaries on how he communicated to me in our friend groups = removed. No reason, just a generic 'woe is me, I try to be part of group'. At my expense.. yeah part of the group.. my group.. my people.. the people we share and he so clearly has no connection to, wants to rub my face in the mud?
Now dear reader, I acted as detached as possible, saying 'please can you not' and then stated the action he did, that did not make me happy... COMMUNICATION CUT. No reason, awkward as hell, middle of playing uno with 4 ppl (he did not join the game). *Venting time* This man stood off to the side and kept saying something about ME about how I AM, as if he wanted to prove to them that he KNEW me, knew how I played. Sure it could have been banter, but it was about me, and everyone else kept their mouth shut. Shortly during playing, I set my boundary and he dipped, only to come back and listen quietly after he talked with his furry friend.

OH DEAR READER, IT GETS WORSE!!!!
His furry friend? Was added to the shared friend group. Now, I have no qualms with the furry friend, if anything he saved me from a emotionally abusive relationship I was to blind to see (All my friends came out of the wood work to say 'told you so' ugh). But here's the thing.. DnD.. Yes. The social game, that my ex seems always half listening to, has his furry friend in our 2-3 year campaign. The furry friend still has to add his character into it, but he's very into DnD, it's sweet really. I could have been his friend, but due to his connection with my ex I thought better of it, let my ex have a friend that we don't 'share', but my ex is not some shy anti-social butterfly, he's social as fuck when he wants to be.

But regardless. I am unfriended and unable to communicate with my ex, despite him STILL being in our shared friend group with his furry friend. No clue what my ex is thinking, or knowing what triggered him to do this. Communication is practically non-existent to this man without it being a war.

If you've read this so far dear reader, and maybe share the same sort of wounded soul to a partner or friend who simply cut you off, know that setting boundaries is not a weakness, know that saying 'please don't do ___' and having it disregarded, is not your fault. You are not a snowflake, or 'cant take a joke'. You are saying no, and they are are disrespecting the friendship/relationship, keep your head high and don't buckle under the pressure to feel 'comfortable' again. Your feelings matter. You matter. Be the best YOU can be, and be as kind as you can.