For the longest time I struggled to love myself as an artist as the work I do were getting less loved and lose hope. On top of that, some time back, one of my friend showed me their merchandise of the picture made by their favourite famous artist. Someone I know. After that I was at a breaking point wanting to give up, not able to get the love I yearn for no matter what I make.

But then……..an epiphany occurred.

I learnt that someone I know, someone who is a badass artist while I was a rookie artist back in the day, lost her drive to draw cause of the meds. From that moment, it made me realise while being a bad artist is a very upsetting feeling, but losing the ability to even draw is much worse and it’s not like I can’t draw or even drew bad art. I really hate myself for even gave in to doubts of my drawing skills when there are plenty that couldn’t even draw.

With that in mind, I vow not to doubt myself in drawing ever again, even if I get no likes, I don’t care.

I been drawing some stuff ever since then. I will upload more stuff once I finish a few finishing touch of what I been working on.

I am taking the oppotunity to spend some time drawing and while I hold great pride in how much I improved, I also felt the inferiority behind it.

Recent drawings and the project I drew I was truly proud of it but after a while it became less appealing as time passes. I was working on the Marissa comic page I drew and while I receive positive replies from my friends I also discovered it looked bad in lesser saturation and muddier shadings. Why the hell didn't I notice this before? I made a couple of changes by changing its Color blend while some mistakes were fixed, news ones presents itself. While I enjoyed drawing them it becomes a strain as time passes.

I admit that some people I know have improved while it felt like I didn't, or is it conspiracy against me or am I going mad?

This is starting to feel like the journey of 'layers of fear' game I played where the artist sees perfection, then sees ugliness on he picture at the ending.

What the hell is happening to me?

Gawd dammit, I should've dust up my journal in the page. some of you might still be wondering if Im still doing art commission. Well, the thing is due to some complications, not currently doing art commissions by normal means. However, still willing to do art for you guys but we do it by alternative means. if you have any questions, please note me.

I'm thinking of doing commissions again but this time, I'm thinking of doing it for super cheap as cheap as $2. Due to the circumstances right now (not financially in trouble) I'd thought I'd make it as cheap as $2 dollar plus it'd probably help me train the flow into doing quick drawing plus could help advertise my page a bit better. For this page I won't draw porn, although simple nude I can do too.

I only accept paypal for payment.

I only do pin up black and white drawing for this commission right now at the moment (Hey. it's a 2 dollar commission. be nice XD).

So how bout it guys? What do you think? If interested, leave a reply here or note me.

Edit. I just realize if anyone here really wants their commission colored I can color them too, but the colored commission will be $4

Heya homies! It's me, Yohaw......*cough* Yohawk again. Haven't been in this page for almost a year. Been uploading stuff for the other account but even that one is starting to become cold lately as I been busy at work. Still! I'm still alive and still trying to draw some shit to show for fun.

What else....Ahh yes, some changes. I started uploading stuff even the nude pics I drew but not porn. I only upload porn in my other account. probably isn't really necessary but meh, whatever.

I also got Pokemon white 2 today. To be honest I didn't really care about the game really but I thought I'd get it anyways.

I'm still doing commission but I probably don't need to tell you that.

Also, I am a little ill down by the throat. Maybe some little shit infected me with the flu.

That's about it for now.

Well, it appears I got a new job at Mac Donalds. In normal circumstances I should be really happy but of course uncertainties does come. National Minimum rate, over 40 hours,

I'm gonna have less time to draw from now on and in most possible case, won't be able to at all.

If this happens, this will be my last Journal message here. If not, well. I'll just do what I usually do.

Sigh......I can't believe today is my birthday. Normally it's suppose to be a happy day for everyone of their own birthdays but I somewhat not. To me, birthdays is also a meaning of degeneration. I used to love birthdays but I somewhat not anymore. Don't have a reason to be happy about it.

How bout you guys? What's your reason to be happy for your own birthdays?

Hello everyone! I just wanna let you guys know that I still open for commissions to do artwork for you people.

I do Bw character drawing as well as on color too, all in Digital.

Yea my price is a bit hefty I guess but here's is my renewed price list.

Commission

Solo Character Drawing B/W - $10
Two Character Drawing B/W - $15
Solo Character Drawing Color - $20
Two Character Drawing Color - $30

Hello everyone! I just wanna let you guys know that I still open for commissions to do artwork for you people.

I do Bw character drawing and on color too, all in Digital.

Here is my price list.

---

Commission

Solo Character Drawing B/W - $10
Two Character Drawing B/W - $15
Solo Character Drawing Color - $20
Two Character Drawing Color - $30

---

So far, nothing happened to my neighborhood and riot that was all over London seem to have calmed down. I hear less and less of riot incidents and hear more of arrested rioters.

I have hate for those who is making our society more difficult but it's strange. As I think of myself of how fortunate I am to have a caring parents and my self believe, my hatred is somewhat gone. All I feel is pity for them.

So far, nothing happened to my area yet and let's hope it stays that way. This morning in my street, I been hearing announcement in the shopping center informing the shoppers that they're working with the mets to keep the street safe. sign message on one shop saying thanks for not looting the shop and blah blah blah.

My brother got back from hong kong holiday and man, he sure got tanned hard and he's alot chubbier that before lol.

But yes, I saw a few clips of police beating up youths with baton. They're getting more robust on policing than ever before.

You guys probably have heard about the London riot been going on in London. First it started out in Birgmingham. Alot of stores, family home, the damage is getting bigger. Recently, Earling Broadway has been affected as well.

My area has not been affected yet but I do fear that this day will come when my area will be affected too.

If anything happens to me, I wanna say to you guys, it's nice meeting all of you. It's been a long ride of life indeed.

And one last thing to all the gangsta wannabes pricks of the world....

I keep telling you, stop being a gangsta wannebe! it just doesn't work! If you can't understand that, then rot in your own shit grave and may you burn in hell so I can piss on all of you from above.

My good friend  NatsukiRaichu is selling her characters. Check erm out in her page :3

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2555731/

---

I have a lot of PCA characters, tons of which that I don't use for anything, hell I'm not even in the PCA anymore, I don't actually have any plans for any of the ones I"m not attached to and am debating giving them away or selling them or something like that, I mean would anyone want to 'adopt' these characters? Give me some feedback you guys, depending on what kind I get I'll more than likely be putting up a list of characters I don't want anymore to have taken off my hands or something.

Edit: Going ahead and putting the characters up for now; Nothing is available for grabs YET, I'd still like some feedback with these before making them claimable YET

Edit: Okay I'm thinking that with the PCA characters who have just standalone images without any background, I may let those go for about $5, the others, depending on how detailed their information is, $10-15, the ones in the, 'Unsure' section I'm thinking of handing over to good friends, sooo, GO:

PLEASE NOTE THAT YOU DON'T HAVE TO USE THESE CHARACTERS FOR THE PCA

Duncan-Watchog- http://www.furaffinity.net/full/4470858/
Nameless red Houndoom girl- http://www.furaffinity.net/full/4482046/
Cora Buren-Elgyem- http://www.furaffinity.net/full/5143948/
Tara Glace-Torkaol(Nudity)- http://www.furaffinity.net/full/3254958/
Hei-Lung-Charmeleon- http://www.furaffinity.net/full/2807743/
Dahlia Ryann-Glalie- http://www.furaffinity.net/full/2708497/
Phillip Gongson-Bronzong- http://www.furaffinity.net/full/1365431/
Phoebe Patchinson-Banette- http://www.furaffinity.net/full/3166324/
Maribel Lovitz-Pink Rayquaza(Nudity)- http://www.furaffinity.net/full/2223322/
Franchestka Wattson-Oven Rotom- http://www.furaffinity.net/full/1546410/
Abbie Wattson-Fridge Rotom- http://www.furaffinity.net/full/1546396/
Marin Wattson-Wash Rotom- http://www.furaffinity.net/full/1543269/

$2 Character grab-bag
Neville Armstrong-Shieldon- http://www.furaffinity.net/full/1339998/
Nameless Abomisnow- http://www.furaffinity.net/full/1821301/
Chet Silfe-Poochyena- http://www.furaffinity.net/full/1821344/
Rena Reeve-Rhyhorn- http://www.furaffinity.net/full/1821482/
Raine Calder-Granbull- http://www.furaffinity.net/full/2017101/
Sandra Kerney-Pidgey- http://www.furaffinity.net/full/2128423/
Nancy Wattson-Cut Rotom- http://www.furaffinity.net/full/2274718/
Drillbur- http://www.furaffinity.net/full/4338067/
Carnivine- http://www.furaffinity.net/full/3166302/
Professor Kno-Alakazam- http://www.furaffinity.net/full/3166355/

Unsure of at this time:PCA characters that I'm somewhat attached to the design of, but don't actually need, may sell for a little higher or just give to good friends
Madeline-Tepig- http://www.furaffinity.net/full/3935410/
Apollo Armstrong-Bastiodon- http://www.furaffinity.net/full/1304334/
Molly Hale-Vullaby- http://www.furaffinity.net/full/5144352/
Trisha Elwood-Shiftry- http://www.furaffinity.net/full/3709864/
Randall-Zorua- http://www.furaffinity.net/full/3398235/
Samara Yumura-Gastly- http://www.furaffinity.net/full/3256814/
Blancho Ray- http://www.furaffinity.net/full/1579382/


Sold/Adopted: (List cleared)
Francheska Jagenmagen-Kyogre- http://www.furaffinity.net/full/3371863/-Reserved until the 1st of August for bloodclaw bloodclaw[/u]

Whoosh. I'm gonna be very busy in the next coming days. Since I been using flash in my other account, requests for commissions are coming in and quite alot too. But it's gonna be handsomely paid too XD.

But yes, I still need to do one more picture for  geoseeker But I need to postphone it for now. Hopefully I can get around doing it.

Ok it's that time of year again and I am tight for cash and my commission queue is getting empty again. But I really really really REALLY want to go to the Anime Expo at Excel house in London.

But just to let you guys know that I still do commissions so if you want some art done from me, you can commission me. Much appreciated if you guys could help me X3. Thanks.

commissions.

One Black and White Character/ $7
With color / $15
Extra character / +$4
If anyone wants to commission me for art, note me.

Commission queue

1: ryrurou / 1 Awaiting
2:  gameseeker18
3: _____________
4: _____________
5: _____________
6: _____________

Whoosh, what is this? XD Oh man,  crovirus tagged me this meme, so heck why not I might as well tag people with this XD.

The Rules:
- You must post these rules.
- Each tagged person must post 10 things about themselves on their journal.
- You have to choose and tag 10 people and post their icons on the same joonurnal.
- Go to their pages and tell them you tagged them!

1. I am an ABC (American born chinese) brought up in UK.
2. I remember the first thing that flared my passion for drawing is when I was painting the leaf of Julius Ceasar with the tip of a coloring pen and I been praised that I could be an artist.
3. I just hate fish, ok? Not all chinese like fish and it's stereotypical to think that we all do.
4. I hate being a chef but I love good food.
5. My favourite food is pizza thanks to those anthro mutant heroes in the half shell LOL.
6. I have a very bad habit of giving myself alot of alias.
7. I graduated Animation 2nd upper degree in the university.
8. My favourite color is green. I want to say black but that is not color.
9. I hate gangsta wannabes. No serious, I have a real issue with people who spouting "gangsta" all over the place. It's just so detestable.
10. I first started collecting yugioh cards when I first saw the big giant eygptian giant shoots the giant ball "Exodia, obiliderate!!!!"

Now to tag some folks:
 nerotiger  the_lost_one  slipe  dh01  xehta13  ebonypikachu  lucario__18

Hi,
Ok, from doing a commission I did for a client I learnt that even doing backgrounds puts quite a effort to making characters just as much. So I figure it'd be reasonable to add a pricing if you want me to add backgrounds. Don't worry, simple random background is free, but as for specific scenery you would ask for such as detail buildings, architecture and etc, that's a different story lol.

One Black and White Character/ $7
With color / $15
Extra character / +$4
If anyone wants to commission me for art, note me.

Commission queue

1:  nerotiger / 2 completed, 1 awaiting
2:  ryrurou / 2 Awaiting
3: _____________
4: _____________
5: _____________
6: _____________

Hi,
I'm reducing my commission price a bit further.

One Black and White Character/ $7
With color / $15
Extra character / +$4
This is the pricing I start up. I do paypals (Although I'm still scared of using it but it seems like it's the only way and other friends convince me it's safe) If anyone wants to commission me for art, note me.

Commission queue

1:  The_Lost_one Paid
2: _____________
3: _____________
4: _____________
5: _____________
6: _____________

Hi,
It's febuary and so far no commission requests coming in. Just to let you guys know my commission service is still open.

One Black and White Character/ $8
With color / $18
Extra character / +$5
This is the pricing I start up. I do paypals (Although I'm still scared of using it but it seems like it's the only way and other friends convince me it's safe) If anyone wants to commission me for art, note me.

Commission queue

1: _____________
2: _____________
3: _____________
4: _____________
5: _____________
6: _____________

I am thinking of doing a collab work of my own that involves including some people's characters. It's simple really, the picture would be roster screen, or character fighter select screen like you see in street fighter games and I'm thinking of putting these characters in part of the roster select screen. I already had an idea whose character I want to add but if you want me to include in it, comment here or note me.

Oh, I forgot to mention. Your character has to be from PCA and it has to be students, but of any year.

Hi,
Once again, I change the commission price for commissions. I definitely need to do some commissions.

One Black and White Character/ $8
With color / $20
Extra character / +$5
This is the pricing I start up. I do paypals (Although I'm still scared of using it but it seems like it's the only way and other friends convince me it's safe) If anyone wants to commission me for art, note me.

Commission queue

1: _____________
2: _____________
3: _____________
4: _____________
5: _____________
6: _____________

PS : Am I overcharging?

Ok boys and girls, Today, I am opening my commission for people who want me to draw an art for them. This is my first time doing them properly and I am in desperate need for money, so yeah.

One Black and White Character/ $10
With color / $25
Extra character / +$5
This is the pricing I start up. I do paypals (Although I'm still scared of using it but it seems like it's the only way and other friends convince me it's safe) If anyone wants to commission me for art, note me.

Commission queue

1:  lightningkimba
2: _____________
3: _____________
4: _____________

PS: For those who are still waitig for requests from me, I am sorry it's taking long, I will try to get around doing them

Sigh......I'm gonna be 28th at......28th this month LOL.

Ugh, I hate birthdays because it makes me feel old.

Ok, to spark people's interest in commissioning my badass artwork from me, I decide to take requests from people. I'll put only 4 slots for now because my lifestyle is quite busy and I don't know when I'll do them.

Art Request Slot

1.  the_lost_one
2.  ICK1992
3.  ex626akakeon
4.  shocker

My buddy  Crovirus tagged me on his Trope meme, so I thought I'd do a trope meme of my PCA characters.


MARKUS SKYFIRE

UNLUCKY EVERYDUDE Markus has many crushes for many females throughout his youthful life, only to end up having his own heart crushed by many life lissues that is impossible to resolve. It took him time to realise there is one girl who cares for him alot.

THE CHOSEN ONE Markus were hand picked by a few close friends of his to become the leader of Team Intercept. The fate of the Skyfire family honour also partly lays on him. The pressure gets to him....Well, maybe not being the team leader.

IDENTITY AMNESIA Due to many heart crushes and fears of not being liked, Markus rejects his loving childish personality and attempt to mature, only to rub some students the wrong way and forget what he used to be.

BADASS BOOKWORM While he's not reading books, he can kick ass in combat.

ALL WORK VS ALL PLAY Markus couldn't get those balance right whenever he needed at the start. At first as a little lad it's all play, but when the pressure of responsibility lays on him it's all work.



TOMMY STRONGWIND

KNIGHT IN SHINY ARMOUR Tommy usually has a habit of helping/saving a mon in need whenever he/she is in trouble with the bullies. Quite often, he rescues a girl alot.

JUSTICE WILL PREVAIL Tommy believes in absolute justice and will strike at those who he deems evil and have harmed his closes ones....even though if his head is full of stones.

ABOVE GOOD AND EVIL Tommy does begin to occasionally question the meaning of good and evil, including all of his good intentions.

HEROIC VOW Tommy is known to make vows of his own in his most noble form.

MELODRAMA Ok, maybe Tommy does have a bit of a loser side on him. He gets so melodramatic when a girl he likes shows a sign of hating him for whatever reason.


So there you have it. The tv tropes of my PCA characters :3

Tagging:

 slipe
 xehta13

---

Current pageview count to 10,000 : under 6000