Looks like it's yet another year around the sun once again.

I ended up uploading some commissions I had done by  HarkinTheFlyingHog many years ago.
I sat on them so long because I wasn't sure whether to do so or not. They haven't been on here for years, I do hope that Harkin is doing okay wherever they are, I know some people usually come and go from the furry community so I hope it's nothing bad.

In any case, there might be some more uploads later on but I think most of those people might be able to find here or on Inkbunny and usually I'd prefer that everyone ends up faving the original artist anyway.

I might do so anyway since a lot of these pieces haven't been uploaded for years, so it might bring it back into current focus.

Still unsure if I should post any of the much more Adult pictures, since I don't want those to pop up for people who don't like those things but I don't know what to use to make thumbnails in those instances.

Yup, just as the title says my level up day is in a month.
I’m trying to figure out what I’m going to do that day and the weekend before it.
DK Bananza comes out the Thursday before it so I’ll probably be playing that.
There’s quite a few pictures I have that I’ve commissioned over the years that I’d like to post, especially a few done by an artist on here that hasn’t posted for quite a while, so much so that I wonder what happened to them. Some I don’t remember who did them.
Some pictures are a little more *ahem* risqué, but I’m not sure whether or not to post them more because they could be easily found if you look for them here or on IB and that some people might not like to see pictures like that.
It’s probably why I stopped posting any commissions because I worried what others would think since my tastes probably run contrary to what the majority would say is in good taste.
I honestly don’t know. I’ll probably just post the things that are PG at most.
Also, I think I want to practice drawing more. I stopped for quite some time because I felt I wasn’t really any good. But everyone starts at that point and gets better with practice. I just gotta practice practice practice.

I guess this level up day reminder was getting off track.

If anyone’s read this, leave a message in the comments. I’d like to see what you have to say. Thank you for reading.



Yes, I did steal that from Company Man. XD

Just posting here that I’ll be at Anime North the entire weekend.
Not sure what I’ll be doing but most likely going to opening and closing ceremonies, visiting artist alley and dealers den, watching anime in the viewing rooms, and seeing The 404s.
Is anyone else going to be going to Anime North this coming weekend?

Well, didn’t really get much advice from my previous entry and posts on BlueSky so FOMO won out and I ended up getting my ticket for FanExpo before the early bird discount disappeared before midnight on Thursday.

Even though, I’d still like to get any advice from any fursuiters for going about getting my very first fursuit. I’m hoping to get one done by Furnal Equinox based off of my raptor self.

Well, as the title says I’m thinking of whether or not to go to Fan Expo this year. Now the reasoning is that because of going to Furnal Equinox this past weekend I’ve been having the strongest urge to do something I’ve really wanted to do for some time.

That something is that I really wanted to commission a fursuit. One that would be ready for me for Furnal Equinox next year. I really want to do one of my raptor self. I’ve loved raptors since seeing them in Jurassic Park as a kid but also in other things too like in cartoons and even other furs’ art. So I’ve always identified as a raptor even before being a Mewtwo. At work I even thought of what it would feel like to put on the head of myself and feeling like I’m me. I would cry tears of joy.

Which now comes to my dilemma. Fursuits aren’t cheap. I’m not entirely sure what the costs are but I feel like a partial suit would at least be the most reasonable for me to achieve especially if I can pay in instalments. I tried looking for generic quotes on some sites for local makers and the sites feel like they’re a few years old in terms of last updating which could also mean the prices are out of date and could be much higher. The dealers den at FE definitely had some really high prices that contradict what I saw online. But yeah, back to my point. I’ve been to Fan Expo for years and a lot of the time I’ve felt drained and kinda meh about it but FOMO has always kept me going back each year. There’s some cool celebrities and such but it’s such a packed place and if you thought FE had lines, well, Fan Expo is much worse. Pretty much each year I go to Fan Expo, I’m spending $400-500 including admission, transportation, food and some items. Now my thinking is, if I don’t go, that’s $400-500 that could help go towards the fursuit I really want to finally obtain.

I think I know what people will say but I guess I just need to have some confirmation.

So TL;DR, should I go to Fan Expo this year or have the money I would’ve spent on that go towards a potential, and very hopeful, commission of my very first fursuit to hopefully be ready for Furnal Equinox next year?

I’d really like to hear what you have to say.

…Thank you for watching.

(Inside joke having to do with a YouTuber I watch all the time. XD)

Well, the third day was much better than the last as I was able to meet up with a new friend who also showed me a bit of behind the scenes stuff as well. Also had an artist I follow end up sitting beside me during a TF meet and who seemed to also know of me.
All in all, the start and middle of the con were the rough parts for me but the end was much much better.
It did make me think that perhaps what would work out better for me is instead of being just an attendee next year that I try my hand out at being a volunteer.
I had interest in doing so for Anime North way back but backed out due to being so shy to take that next step. I feel at least for Furnal Equinox it’d feel more meaningful because it’s for the furry community and that’s what I felt seeing those bits behind the scenes.

Update 11 AM: It’s been an hour and no one showed up to the Switch Social at all. I don’t think I’m going to bother going to the plushie show and tell because I’ve seen people go around with custom plushies and I’d be embarrassed to show my face there.
I’m in Pier 4 at one of the round tables just playing Balatro on my Switch till 2PM if anyone that follows me wants to come over and say hi.

I’ll be heading out to FE one more time.
If anyone wants to talk to me I’ll be at the Nintendo Switch Sunday Social at 10 AM in Pier 5.
Afterwards, I’ll be at the Plushie Show & Tell at 11:30 in Pier 3 with my Figment plushie.
Finally I’ll be at the Transformation Meet and Greet at 2 PM in Pier 3 before heading for the Closing Ceremonies at 4.
In between all that I might visit the Dealers Den one more time.
I’ll be wearing a Figment shirt and plush hat.
Hopefully this time I’ll meet anyone that follows me there.

Ended up removing the last few journals. I don’t want to think about them.

This was such a terrible shock to see this morning finding out Dragoneer had passed away.
It's so much more heartbreaking seeing their posts leading up to all this.
Trying to survive against the odds and a broken health care system.
It's so unfair and way too early.
I would be lying if I said I didn't cry a few times today. I still tear up thinking about it.
Dragoneer helped make this a home for all us furries for so many, many years.
I didn't know them personally but I followed them on the social media side for some time, even seeing the odd post about trying to get delivery for a ridiculous amount of tacos.
This place wouldn't have existed for so long if it weren't for their hard work and self sacrifice.
It was also great to see their own art pop up from time to time, even though they seemed to be their own harshest critic. I enjoyed seeing those pictures and I'm pretty sure lots of others did too.
This is all so tragic. I'm still tearing up typing this out.
I've been on here for almost 19 years. There were sites before but none felt like a community like this place has.

Dragoneer, you touched a lot of lives directly and indirectly.
No one will ever forget that.
At least your suffering is finally over.
May you rest in peace and may we all meet again in the great ever after.

It’s my birthday today.

Not much to say.

It’s also Tynamo Community Day in Pokémon GO.

Not sure what I’ll be doing today, probably just staying inside. It’s too hot out and it could get stormy later on.

I guess that’s it.

Well, another year around the sun has come on this, the Spaceship Earth.

Ended up seeing Barbie on Wednesday for the Early Blowout Party and saw Oppenheimer last night in IMAX.
Going to see Oppenheimer again today but in IMAX 70mm.
Going to make a strange and "pricey" Frappuccino as my Starbucks birthday treat like I do each year.
I hope to finally beat Tears of the Kingdom today.
Pikmin 4 should be arriving in the mail, though my plan to have beaten Pikmin 1-3 before the game came out didn't pan out, so I still have to wait before I start 4.

I'm thinking of uploading a bunch of art that I had commissioned some time ago later today.

Other than that, I'm not sure what else will happen today. Just feeling drained and tired mostly.

Well, today's the day of the anniversary of my trip around the sun for yet another solar year.

I've just been playing my Steam Deck all day and messing around in Animal Crossing New Horizons.
Later today I'll end up going to see Nope in IMAX.
I had taken the whole week off to relax, originally I was going to be in Walt Disney World but decided against it because of the massive heat but also because of having to pay off the Steam Deck.
I find it funny that the first game I went to on the Steam Deck was the one game I played a ton of on the Switch; Binding of Isaac.
At least it's a game that gets me quite used to the layout of the Steam Deck's controls, which actually don't seem to be bad at all.
I really wish there was rumble though, but there's barely any space for them to have put it on.
I'm hoping more games will be designed with Steam Deck optimization in mind. It's a pretty sweet system.
It's large but the weight is balanced so you don't feel it being that heavy.
The screen is nice and large. OLED would've been the best but IPS for the screen still does a decent job.

Other than that, I feel the oldest I've ever felt in my life.

Well, that time of year is coming up real soon.
It's supposed to be one of those milestone ones but it seems the most scary as well.

I feel way too old and I feel like I haven't really done anything.

I'm not sure how I'm going to feel that day but we'll see.

Well, another year has gone by and now I'm another year older.
This past year has been pretty taxing mentally and it still feels like it's going to be a while longer till it'll be close to normal.
Next year's gonna be the big four oh and I feel like I've done nothing with my life.
Oh well, what can you do.

Well, I just came back from watching Jurassic Park at the movie theatre.
The last movie I saw at the theatre was Pixar's Onward before the whole lockdown happened.

It reminded me how much I love dinosaurs but especially how much a I really love velociraptors.
In fact, my first sona before ever knowing about the furry community was being a velociraptor.

Which is why I really, really want to finally have my own raptor sona come to life finally.
Yes, twice the finallies because that's how badly I want to do this.

I'm hoping I can find an artist that could work with me to make this dream finally come true (Yet another finally!).
I'd like to make both an anthro ref sheet as well as a feral one. Personality wise they're pretty much like my Mewtwo self, probably less submissive and more in the middle of the spectrum, but still a bit introverted and shy. The oddness in my Raptor self being a herbivore, eating veggie burgers and other alternatives. The kind of raptor is based around the Jurassic Park/Lost World ones, not the others. As an anthro I'd still be pretty tall in the over 6 ft range, like my Mewtwo self. Colour wise, I guess it'd be my Mewtwo self's colours toned down to be more like markings on scales that are closer to the brown and white of a JP raptor.

What does this mean about my Mewtwo self? Nothing much, that'll still be around but I really want to finally (There it is again!) take this step. I really love the JP velociraptors and it's something I loved ever since I was a kid. That never stopped. This feels incredibly daunting, I really hope I can do this. ^^;

If anyone reading this is or knows of any artists that can do scalies and help me flesh out my sona in creating a ref sheet or two, it will be extremely helpful.

Thanks for reading this far and thanks in advance! ^^

Another year around the sun has been completed and I’m a year older than the day before. Not much else to really say.

So, um, yay?

Well, today was my birthday.

Ended up getting some money that I'm going to use towards getting a much deserved new bed. I'm pretty sure I've had this bed since the start of college or earlier. The slats of the frame aren't holding up well and the mattress itself has some hard springs, which I think at least one of the springs is poking through. I've been think of getting an Endy or Casper mattress and bed frame. It's a bit hard because I need Twin XL cause of my height, but they seem to both have it available. Endy's a bit cheaper but seems to be made for Canada and in Canada, though Casper does have a hybrid mattress that is both foam and springs for better firmness. There's also the pretty pricey Wave mattress that Casper has, but seems to be really good for the back. I wonder if splurging a bit more on that would be a good idea or just stick with the Endy for a good all around foam mattress.

I caught a whole bunch of Mudkips today, even a shiny wonder one. No 4 star ones, but some that were really close. I've reached level 38, so I'm only 2 levels away. If anyone wants to add me to their Pokemon GO friend list, my friend code is 4757 1090 0826. Also, if you want to add me on the Switch, my friend code is SW-1884-8363-7795. I got Marvel Ultimate Alliance 3, so that would probably be fun to play online.

I took tomorrow off so I hope to start putting up some pictures that I have gotten over time that I haven't put up here. Some might be a little odd. I'm thinking of probably putting the really odd ones on an alternate account so that those who might not enjoy those things don't end up seeing them on their watch feed.

Anyways, that's all for today. I feel so ancient...

Happy Canada Day!

With that out of the way I just want to say that soon I should be uploading a bunch of pictures I had commissioned over the years; not all of them but most. I forgot who made some of them so I'm mostly going by memory or FA search. They should be going up some time over the week in no particular order.

And it looks like it's 20 days till my level up day (I feel so ancient), which is also Pokemon GO's Mudkip community day, so I know what I'll be doing on that day.

Oh wow, so much new information in such a short time.

First off, I'm super excited that a sequel to Detective Pikachu is coming out for the Switch. It'll be great to see how it all concludes. I'm hoping for more Mewtwo again. Plus that also means I really need to beat the first game! Darn me and my constant switching of games! I need to stick to one and beat it before going on to the next!

Pokémon Sleep: Still no real clue how that will all work, I guess it just means buying another device. I've had some poor quality sleep, so if this helps in some way it'd be pretty neat.

Pokémon Home: I'm glad the Pokémon I've transferred to Let's GO won't be stuck there and it'll make Pokémon GO a lot more useful for Sword/Shield. It's good that the 3DS Pokémon will be able to get transferred over as well too. Also being able to trade with anyone in the world with it is a huge plus.

Pokémon Masters: Seems like it would be pretty cool, not sure if I'll bite. I enjoy being able to raise my Pokémon, battling to me was just a way to level up and evolve.

Pokémon Shirts: This would be great if it were coming to Canada, but with how the Pokémon Company still hasn't allowed any shipping from the Pokémon Center website outside of the US, I highly doubt it will. Kinda funny when Reggie once said that Canadians were the biggest Pokémon fans in the world but then we get the short end of the stick for anything like amiibo, collector's editions, and Pokémon stuff in general.

Death Stranding: The trailer looked super cool. Great looking models for all the characters. They even got Guillermo Del Toro to be in the game which is super cool! I always loved Mads Mikkelsen in stuff like Hannibal and Polar, and he looks great in here too. Norman Reedus is great too. The combat looks great, still getting some MGS vibes with it. Riding that cycle across the landscape sounds like a blast, very adventurous. I still have no clue what's going on other than the US is gone or in shreds and people have lost connections with each other, and I think even ending up in past events somehow. It's definitely going to be a mindfuck and November 8 can't come soon enough. Still, it really, really makes me sad to never know what Silent Hills could've been like with all the massive effort going into this game. Konami really messed up; what do they even make anymore outside of a few soccer games and now some compilations?

Well, it'll be interesting to see what E3 and the Pokémon Sword/Shield Direct brings us. It's like Christmas for gamers and the end of days for my wallet!

Well, I haven't posted in my journal since...*checks*...my birthday last year. That's quite a long time.
I'm hoping to post more journal entries from here on out as a way to kinda vent/talk about what's going on with me. I'm pretty much of a mystery to everyone, doesn't help that I'm actually super, duper, extreme shy. I can never be the first one to initiate a conversation with anyone. I feel like I'd interrupt or be a bother.

For example, I just tried visiting one of the livestream thingies that artists do, but I see that everyone in chat already kinda knows one another and what does one even say on their first time there? Is it still informal like "Hi" or "Hello" or something more introductory? I feel like hi and hello is great if people know you, but otherwise it feels more abrupt as a first greeting, or likewise the other way around might be too much and feel, I dunno, like "Look at me!" We shy people always think we're intruding on everyone else's good time. So, all I did was stay silent, trying to think of what to say and then...I left. I just couldn't think of anything and I was too afraid.

That reminds me of the time that I "went" to a fur meeting at a local anime convention. I say "went" because once I got there, I stayed on the outskirts and noticed, once again, everyone knew each other. I was pretty frozen up on the edge of where they group ends and the rest of the con-goers are. So, just like with that livestream chat, I just watched, listened, thought of how I could introduce myself, and then....I left. It's a pattern, for sure.

I don't even dare try to note/message, or sometimes even comment, anyone I'd like to know on here or on places like F-list because I feel like I would be just annoying them or something. The fear of rejection is super strong with me. It's probably why I've never dated in my entire life. I don't know why I'm opening up like this, maybe for some advice or maybe so that others that feel the same way like I do know that they're not the only ones.

Well, in any case, that was a lot to hear about me. I'm hoping to upload a bunch of stuff that I haven't uploaded over the years. It probably will mostly be G/PG stuff with some adult mixed in depending on what it's of.

After watching Detective Pikachu I've come to the realization that I'm a terrible 'Two. I've definitely not helped the fandom with the art that has been done of me and the way I acted all submissive, definitely not Mewtwo material. Heck, even a Mewtwo artist said they hated me in a comment some years ago and that always stuck with me. I used to fave their art involving Mewtwo but stopped after that comment. I guess it all comes back to that rejection thing again. Am I even worthy of being a Mewtwo or have I made things worse for Mewtwos out there? I honestly don't know and that scares me. I feel strongly attached to being a Mewtwo. I loved Mewtwo ever since seeing them in the original games and on the big screen. Heck, I even blew off my own high school graduation ceremony to see the movie on the first night. But lately I feel like I've failed them and so I'm a bit lost with my identity. I've also lost contact with some of the ones I used to speak to when I ended up on that Undertale kick a while back, but even with that I still felt connected to my Mewtwosona, which is why I couldn't leave that side of me.

Well, this journal was a bit of a downer, but I guess it's a good thing I lay this all out. I'm so used to bottling everything up until it all explodes in my face. Hopefully my next entry will be a lot more happier in tone.

Till next time!

Well, today I'm another year older.
I feel so very old...

Not much else to say. Usually I go out on my birthday but this year I'm just gonna stay at home and play some more Octopath Traveller and perhaps watch some Netflix to pass the time.

Well, it's just past midnight here and it's now officially my birthday.

....As always, I feel so old. x_x

I posted up a bunch of photos on  SagiDreemurr
Go on and check it out!

I'll be at ConBravo tomorrow (Saturday) all day!
I'll be dressed up as Toriel and my friend will be dressed up as Frisk.
Hope to see you all there!

Happy birthday to me. I'm another year older and I feel another year more ancient.