“People keep asking If I’m back, and I haven’t really had an answer, but yeah, I’m thinking I’m back.”

Despite my IRL situation still being quite a bit of a shit, and the mess in my head has been mostly quite as of the last few months, and the financial situation is not as dire as it used to be the last two years, I think I am back in shape or form.

The updates won't be as frequent as they used to be, but I already have a couple of images in progress, mostly preparing for Anna's 12th birthday and whatnot.

But it is safe to announce that the hiatus is over.

ye

Last week I had 6k rubles on my card. In a bank that my aunt told me that the IRS will not touch.
And I lost it all, to pay off father's debts.
I told it to all adults in my family "I lost all of my cash, I have nothing!"
And all I got back was either defeaning silence or crippling "it is what it is", no one offered any help or support.
I wasn't expecting much, but blinding indifference is too much to bear

"Hurr durr just get a fucking job!"
FOR WHAT?!
TO WORK FOR MINIMUM WAGE SO THE TAX AGENCY CAN TAKE HALF AND TAKE THE OTHER HALF OFF MY CARD?????

I am so fucking tired. I am tired of getting drunk, I am tired of getting mental breakdowns and shitting all over the fucking floor. I am tired of ignoring it, pretend that it does not exist, until I get drunk again so I can actually acknowledge its existence and deal with it.
I am just tired in general.

I'm 32 today.

YeY/

Let us not pay attention to my almost routine drunken mental breakdowns amirite...?

Not gonna lie to you.

A few weeks my life changed.

I will not elaborate, but it has greatly affected my daily life.

And it kind of killed... my mood.

It took me three weeks to realize that I disassociated hard, and I can't even work on Furry Porn like I used to.

I think lost touch with reality and my hobby of Furry Porn.

Is it a midlife crisis? But I am only 31 years old...

At best I am a bystander right now, if not a stranger to all of this.

I do not know what is happening to me...

And I do not know if I am ever coming back.

Alright, a new laptop was purchased.

It is certainly better than my older one.

The model is MSI Bravo 15 C7VF

And I've managed to recover all files from the old laptop, almost nearly filling up the new SSD.

Looks like I'll need to do some cleaning...

God damn it.
The laptop hasn't been returned to me yet.
Still, I've spent the last couple of days emailing the shop Citylink about the restoration of the check, without mentioning the return, and gave all the info I could, what laptop, its serial number, where and when it was bought, who bought it, all except the number of the order.

They told me that they don't have it in their database.

Well, I suppose I should just take an L and admit defeat.

I should go and simply buy a new PC.

Sometimes shit just happens and I had been fucking with this ordeal for two months already and I just want to get it over with.

Well, after waiting for 1,5 months for the warranty repair, the authorized PC Shop said that the laptop is unfixable.

Because the replacement of the motherboard could not be delivered, so they'll return my dead computer and a note that it is not fixable.

With it I can go back to the shop and demand a return or replacement.

...the problem is that the shop is closed and I lost the check with its box when I was moving.

I am unironically considering taking an L and just get a new laptop.

Maybe I'll have to sell a couple of characters I own and/or start a fundraiser...

Took my PC from the seemingly incompetent PC shop, and took it to the other place.
Explained what happened and left it in their care.
They promised to call be back in two days.
So now, we wait.

Again.

So, on Saturday last week, my "lel gaemnig" laptop shut off and never turned back on.

The power button glows, but absolutely zero sounds or activity.

I took it to the PC Repair Shop, but it's been nearly a week and they still can't give me a straight answer about what is wrong with it.

Either a multi-controller or a processor is a bust.

So I don't have access to my files, commissions, references, etc. for a few days more, hence the lack of uploads.

I don't really know when my PC will be restored and at this point, it will likely cost me a pretty penny to fix it, if not have to buy a whole new computer altogether.

So yet another blow to my finances, great, just great.

This is why I buy cheap commissions.

I've met my sneakers dealer this morning.
I dunno what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.

yey

I'm 31 years old now...

Blergh.

ye

https://bsky.app/profile/kelnich.bsky.social

Here's the link

Both profiles and feed are empty.

I need your help to find some peeps to follow there, so it will stop being a desolate place.

Preferably porn artists, since I am going full 18+ in there.

Try to remember the person that was very dear to you.
And you just can not.

Severe acute respiratory syndrome had triggered sinusitis.
Oh the pain.
Just kill me.
Kill me now.
Do it ya coward.

The repair shop said something was wrong with one of my two RAM slots. Both 8GB RAMs are okay.

I've asked is it possible to fix the slot, and the guy said that it'll be very complicated.

What do I do:
Live with one 8GB RAM, fix the broken slot, or put 16GB into the intact slot?
People tell me that the 16GB slot's performance drop will be negligible.

Yesterday I was just casually watching YouTube as fucking usual, and then suddenly the screen froze, the sound died, and the image covered in green pixels.

Of course I've tried to hard reboot it, but after it the screen became black, no sounds, and completely unresponsive.

Today I tried to bring it to the repair shop.

There they asked me how old it was, I said one and half years. They said since its fairly new I could use the warranty to repair it.

Then I dragged it to the shop where I bought it, but it fucking closed a year ago!

After that I had to go through hell of the customer service, they told me that Lenovo laptops have only one year warranty and sent me to their completely disfynctional website.

Since the piece of crap refuse to work, I gave up and brought my pc back to that repairt shop and gave them to fix it.

And all of my files, games, and porn are on that laptop, I declare that I have to go on hiatus and perhapsibly will be low on cash since the repair will probably cost a pretty penny.

Now I am on the old laptop, thankfully I didn't manage to sell it.

I AM NOT AN ARTIST!
I AM NOT DRAWING!
I AM NOT OPEN FOR COMMISSIONS!
I AM NOT OPEN TO REQUESTS!
STOP MESSAGING ME ABOUT IT!

IF YOU SEND ME A NOTE SAYING THAT YOU WANT A DRAWING FROM ME YOU WILL BE BLOCKED!!!

"Hey Kel are you open for commissions"
"No I am not open for commissions, and I do not draw"
"So like I want you to draw for me Ruby Rose deepthroating a horse cock and squirt"

I am so fucking DONE with this shit!!!

I have created a new server, with plentiful categories and channels.

There are only three roles right now, admin, me, adult for porn, and connoseurs for limbless/fetish porn.

https://discord.gg/P9uP9kJBcq

Open for first 50 members!

Well in a server I was secretly demoted from admin to a regular user, with no warnings or hearing my opinion.
"you posted porn that can be remotely considered rape, and thus you are demoted without telling you a goddamn thing"

The porn that was remotely considered rape was Nameless Lucario one, because of course.

Only one mod had the decency to contact me in the DMs and tell me about the whole thing,

After that, I realized that I no longer had any place there, because all of the important people had no respect for me.

So I've left.
Not before publicly shaming them being not horrible mods, but horrible people.

I think it's time to make my own place, for myself, on my terms.
And try to be a better man.

What are your thoughts?

Welp.
Yesterday I've tried cannabis.
Heard that it might help with ADHD, hence why I am bothering with this in the first place.
First, 4 puffs were almost nothing, just head slightly wobbly and that's all.

Then 2 hours later I take another one and it hit me hard.
My head actually spinning wild and random muscle spasms were all over my body.
Kind of was hard to breathe, the flappy thing in my throat was about to shut on me.
Panic attacks ensue but I try to keep myself in check.
But just to be sure I've called the ambulance. (Don't worry where I am right now cannabis is legal.)
They arrived and check my oxygen and pulse, everything is alright, but they could take me to the hospital if I wanted to.
After a bit of thinking I decided that I am just being a little bit too silly.
Afterward, I just went to sleep, well tried, but did get a 7-hour sleep.
Now I woke up and still felt a bit wobbly.
Ech.
But other than that I am feeling fine, and I think my ADHD recessing, but that again might be me being silly.

Update: 4 hours later the spasms returned.
God damn it.
I guess no other choice but to take the whole day off.

Currently abroad, in another country, just chilling with my relatives.

As you can already see I am much less active since I am more busy IRL.

And a place for my laptop is less than ideal, very stuffy and literally in the corridor, so the very concept of privacy is impossible.

Did you know that I have been uploading hi-res images to e621 of my commissions for quite a while?

And I've been adding the "e621 link" in the description for easy access?

https://e621.net/posts?tags=user%3AKelnich

Sure I've uploaded a couple of images that I had absolutely nothing to do with, such as a few Roxanne Wolf images, Noelle Holiday, and a few others. Still, the majority of my uploads there is the art that I've paid for. Then again I did get a couple of free requests and gifts.

It's complicated!

yey

For those who are interested its Anna's Naughty Night
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/25819141/