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Commissions are open + new tier, and other stuff.
General | Posted 4 months agoHey folks, I'm making this journal, at least for those who read this kind of stuff, to let you know that I'm still open for works, I know many of you must be fed up with this and that's reasonable, but rent and bills are piling and I'm always down to make some money the only way I currently can, and that I also happen to find enjoyment out of. That said I also know we're all going through this economic... "situation", cause I ain't got no pretty words to put it, and I know most people are cutting costs and one of the first things that probably go out is buying anything from illustrators or artists, but hey, if you ever find yourself like spending some spare change in a drawing, know that I'm always here, and I'm always needing the money and support.
That said, I've also decided to offer linework-only drawings, to have a cheaper, more affordable option in the catalogue, I've also updated the examples to have a more colorful character in them, rather than the brown, boring looking wolf, you can check it out right now.
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/49798160/
Besides that, know that I also have a Bluesky account, and I'm actively posting there as well. I took a huge blow to my following since I left twitter and until just recently it was the social where most people followed me in, I also have a Newgrounds account where I post as well but I know it's more of a niche thing, still, if you're interested, please consider checking them out.
https://bsky.app/profile/roamingdes.....nd.bsky.social
https://donyadesmond.newgrounds.com/
That is all, thank you all again for your time!
That said, I've also decided to offer linework-only drawings, to have a cheaper, more affordable option in the catalogue, I've also updated the examples to have a more colorful character in them, rather than the brown, boring looking wolf, you can check it out right now.
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/49798160/
Besides that, know that I also have a Bluesky account, and I'm actively posting there as well. I took a huge blow to my following since I left twitter and until just recently it was the social where most people followed me in, I also have a Newgrounds account where I post as well but I know it's more of a niche thing, still, if you're interested, please consider checking them out.
https://bsky.app/profile/roamingdes.....nd.bsky.social
https://donyadesmond.newgrounds.com/
That is all, thank you all again for your time!
This post is a joke,
General | Posted 7 months agoand I fact don't plan on going through with it.
I need to finally, after all these years, make me a fursona so when I -UNDOUBTEDLY- take pictures on my journey to sign legal papers I can draw over myself or something idk. Any ideas for an species?
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I feel obligated to reiterate that the previous statement is in fact a joke, I'm not actually thinking on getting a fursona anytime now or in the future, I never had thought of. But that does intrigue me, if you'd depict me as a furry, what animal would you choose?
(Idk man I'm kinda burned from working from sunday to sunday and I need a different interaction other than paid works and college.)
I need to finally, after all these years, make me a fursona so when I -UNDOUBTEDLY- take pictures on my journey to sign legal papers I can draw over myself or something idk. Any ideas for an species?
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I feel obligated to reiterate that the previous statement is in fact a joke, I'm not actually thinking on getting a fursona anytime now or in the future, I never had thought of. But that does intrigue me, if you'd depict me as a furry, what animal would you choose?
(Idk man I'm kinda burned from working from sunday to sunday and I need a different interaction other than paid works and college.)
What would you like me to draw more of?
General | Posted 10 months agoRecently I've been trying to think anything for any more drawings, but I've failed at coming up with something.
While I'm not straight up asking for requests, any topics, like any character of mine, or perhaps having another swing at doing fanarts of something else could be fun.
Anyways, if you really think you'd have something you'd like me to draw more of, let me know; who knows, maybe I'll get to actually do something about it, because I sure as hell know I haven't been able to think of something, lol.
Also what would you think I should do for my 666th drawing? I could keep beating the shit out of Donya and draw her all bloody and abused and shit but that's not as fun (well it is for me though), so if you instead have some cursed ideas, sure, what the hell, at this point it couldn't do any more harm.
While I'm not straight up asking for requests, any topics, like any character of mine, or perhaps having another swing at doing fanarts of something else could be fun.
Anyways, if you really think you'd have something you'd like me to draw more of, let me know; who knows, maybe I'll get to actually do something about it, because I sure as hell know I haven't been able to think of something, lol.
Also what would you think I should do for my 666th drawing? I could keep beating the shit out of Donya and draw her all bloody and abused and shit but that's not as fun (well it is for me though), so if you instead have some cursed ideas, sure, what the hell, at this point it couldn't do any more harm.
An actual artist, who actually could use your help, needs it
General | Posted 11 months agohttps://www.furaffinity.net/view/60607038/
apron55 is currently going through an eviction process, and could use any money you could give them.
Y'all people that constantly complain when I refuse to accept donations or tips, yeah get off your asses and give them to someone who actually deserves them please.
apron55 is currently going through an eviction process, and could use any money you could give them.Y'all people that constantly complain when I refuse to accept donations or tips, yeah get off your asses and give them to someone who actually deserves them please.
Bap
General | Posted a year agobwe.
My side of the story.
General | Posted a year agoSince you 
Gusta want to take such pitiful and petty personal thing to the light of others, given that this is a personal issue between us two and nobody but us two, then let's keep draggin this all over the mud then:
https://imgur.com/a/UjsqYYo
First of all, we never came close, I never came any closer to you the way I would've done with TheHyperMarc, JBGryph, Razor-The-Fox, RythTheYoshi, MoronRibbons, or any other people that I have talked to in multiple times, at times you know I made this clear, but, the same way I would've called them "friends", you have decided to latch onto this super hard, because you simply have nothing else outside your pc screen going on in your life, this is not me trying to insult you, you yourself have said it publicly, and have said it to me, the same way I, again, told you many times that I don't trust you.
Because of this, he grew increasingly clingy and dependant of me, in an unhealthy way. Unlike you, I'm not going to skip parts (and we'll get to that) and I am not going to deny that it was fueled by me giving you free drawings, you know, as a funny thing to do since it's the only thing I can do just well enough for other people on the internet as a small token of my gratitude.
You know, like the many drawings I've made for TheHyperMarc
https://x.com/RoamingDesmond/status.....21339847442433
https://i.imgur.com/i2ScuRZ.png
Or the dozen more drawings I've made for Razor-The-Fox
https://www.furaffinity.net/scraps/razor-the-fox/
Or the drawings I did for JBGryph.
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/55878118/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/55878148/
None of them three paid me for those, I just wanted them done for them as a "thank you", and you don't see them getting super clingy about it, perhaps to the point of asking me to draw porn of your real self and my real self, you know, like how you did. Not like fursonas, no, like, a drawing of the real human person behind this account, and the person behind your account.
THIS is the reason I didn't want to have anything to do with you; at first, I grew distant, and I wanted to keep it professional, I still took your jobs, and I pretty much wanted to make sure they were up to standard and that you were satisfied with them, but I rarely wanted to discuss NSFW drawings topics with you outside these jobs, and I explicitly told you this, yet you insisted.
So off comes the donations, which, yes, just like you said, I'm very open of not wanting them, and I've told AD NAUSEAM that I don't want them, which is why it comes off as strange or at the very damn least ANNOYING that you kept persisting about this, and kept sending them and sending them, I told you if you kept this up and if you kept bringing it up I would block you, and so I did on twitter at the time, when you ignored that. I didn't block you on FA, or Bsky, or Newgrounds, or anywhere else, because twitter DMs were the most direct way for you to keep bothering me with this and rather than shut you down completely, I just wanted some space, so I still let you meander around in my other sites. It wasn't a matter of "blocking you out of the blue" and you NOW wanting to know "why". You WERE well aware of why I did it.
https://i.imgur.com/WO5WVgY.png
Conveniently enough, you didn't bring to light then the so many small paypal payments you've sent me throughout these 8 months with messages of all kinds, knowing that I WILL have to see them.
-https://i.imgur.com/PtDZVPl.png
-https://i.imgur.com/9V2Xew1.png
-https://i.imgur.com/UrMuUWX.png
-https://i.imgur.com/22PsjPt.png
-https://i.imgur.com/4ppKg2Y.png
-https://i.imgur.com/1XsZIpt.png
-https://i.imgur.com/yCO9phm.png
-https://i.imgur.com/DadMbUI.png
-https://i.imgur.com/cjXUzH4.png
Then, in a bad move from my part, I decided to be harsh for once and told you this
https://i.imgur.com/IgTKwbH.png
Which was a grave mistake from my part since you decided to cling to that, given that I gave you absolutely no other words to latch onto. So, months indeed passed by and I wanted to have nothing to do with you, and any sane person would've seen the writting on the wall and just moved on, not you though, because you insisted and insisted.
The phone number thing. Yes, I am aware you saw it because I KNEW I had it on display on Telegram, because that's the line I use for my jobs locally, and in a need to have people know my number in telegram, I had it displayed public. I don't care so much that you had it, but what you did with it: given with all that happened already, did you think the most sane thing to do was escalate it further, and instead of trying to bother me via internet, where I already wanted none from you, directly message me to my personal phone?
With that in mind, do you then believe that after what we've gone through, the most sane thing to do then is to send me a physical pacakge with no prior knowledge or agreement? I ask you, the reader, does that seems like normal human behaviour?
But, why then just stay at that? You wanted to bring this to light, Gusta? Why don't you then go ahead and tell them that you used my email to open a pornhub account in the past hours, why don't you go ahead and also tell everyone that you made a BetterHelp account with my email as well? I sure as shit know I didn't, because this happened well over early hours in the morning, while I was asleep, and both BetterHelp and pornhub stills requires me to verify my account, something you can't do since you don't have access to my gmail. And in that course, something I wouldn't do becauase I know BetterHelp is a TERRIBLE service for that matter, and like you, I wouldn't want to have anything to do with them.
-https://i.imgur.com/tleDYEp.png
-https://i.imgur.com/vgGbtEa.png
-https://i.imgur.com/vqsaDwX.png
-https://i.imgur.com/gh6VFvR.png
-https://i.imgur.com/cbD03m9.png
Better yet, why don't you tell everyone how you've given me a payment through paypal and then reported it as not getting the product, so I get flagged, being well aware that this is something people do to fuck other people over, because you know that this can potentially get my account frozen, leaving me with no source of income?
https://i.imgur.com/kIXOr3Z.png
Why don't you go ahead an tell them also how you are trying to guilt trip me for not deleting the Koda picture then? and from what can be implied, that I'm ok with an actual pedophile, instead of you, because that's what you're implying, right? You're no better than the asshats that wanted to put YOU in the same bag as koda for drawing something for him, when none of us knew at the time, and he wasn't outed as a pedophile. You know damn well that I do not support that kind of thing, but you want to be petty.
https://i.imgur.com/P4xqus5.png
I prioritized deleting all the drawings I made for you or that feature you from my gallery YESTERDAY because I was angry, and I wasn't thinking straight, and cleary in my mind at the moment I had no place to think about that thing, I will be taking it down now though, since you want to bring importance to that not because of concern, but in order to make me look bad.
Keep in mind people, this all has happened because I decied to grow distant on him, and ignore him, after telling him multiple times to leave me alone, over the fucking internet.
You want to be petty? Why don't you also tell everyone how you wanted to know my actual living location in Cali? why don't you tell everyone how have you gone through the official facebook and instagram pages of my university looking for photos that could even remotely feature me in the classrooms or the installations? why don't you tell everyone how have you found obscure projects of mine posted on random pages of the internet as college homework? Sure, those things are up to the public, and everyone can access to them, it's not that that matters, it's the fact that you've gotten out of your way to go to these extents to find things that aren't precissely easy to find. And then with all that I've said, I ask you again: Do you believe this is normal human behaviour?
The truth of the matter is, you are a stalker, and someone obsessed with me in more ways than one. You are a sick person, who simply cannot take no for an answer, again, you have nothing else going on your life, as you yourself have said it, at first, I genuienly wanted you to meet other people, to go outside and do something, get ANYTHING or ANYONE else in your life that didn't have to revolve around me, because if I were to disappear, then you would have nothing, and that made me feel bad for your, out of compassion.
But now I can't help but feel nothing for you, I don't wish you bad, I simply do not care. I just want you to leave me alone and let me be misserable in my goddamn filth, while I try to pull myself up through my own means. Get it through your thick skull: I do not want your help, I do not want your friendship, I do not want your trust, I do not want to have anything to do with you. I never loved you in the way your twisted mind may have tried to convince you of, I never trusted you, and now, I do not care about what happens to you, good or bad.
Meeting you, was a mistake.
Gusta want to take such pitiful and petty personal thing to the light of others, given that this is a personal issue between us two and nobody but us two, then let's keep draggin this all over the mud then:https://imgur.com/a/UjsqYYo
First of all, we never came close, I never came any closer to you the way I would've done with TheHyperMarc, JBGryph, Razor-The-Fox, RythTheYoshi, MoronRibbons, or any other people that I have talked to in multiple times, at times you know I made this clear, but, the same way I would've called them "friends", you have decided to latch onto this super hard, because you simply have nothing else outside your pc screen going on in your life, this is not me trying to insult you, you yourself have said it publicly, and have said it to me, the same way I, again, told you many times that I don't trust you.
Because of this, he grew increasingly clingy and dependant of me, in an unhealthy way. Unlike you, I'm not going to skip parts (and we'll get to that) and I am not going to deny that it was fueled by me giving you free drawings, you know, as a funny thing to do since it's the only thing I can do just well enough for other people on the internet as a small token of my gratitude.
You know, like the many drawings I've made for TheHyperMarc
https://x.com/RoamingDesmond/status.....21339847442433
https://i.imgur.com/i2ScuRZ.png
Or the dozen more drawings I've made for Razor-The-Fox
https://www.furaffinity.net/scraps/razor-the-fox/
Or the drawings I did for JBGryph.
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/55878118/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/55878148/
None of them three paid me for those, I just wanted them done for them as a "thank you", and you don't see them getting super clingy about it, perhaps to the point of asking me to draw porn of your real self and my real self, you know, like how you did. Not like fursonas, no, like, a drawing of the real human person behind this account, and the person behind your account.
THIS is the reason I didn't want to have anything to do with you; at first, I grew distant, and I wanted to keep it professional, I still took your jobs, and I pretty much wanted to make sure they were up to standard and that you were satisfied with them, but I rarely wanted to discuss NSFW drawings topics with you outside these jobs, and I explicitly told you this, yet you insisted.
So off comes the donations, which, yes, just like you said, I'm very open of not wanting them, and I've told AD NAUSEAM that I don't want them, which is why it comes off as strange or at the very damn least ANNOYING that you kept persisting about this, and kept sending them and sending them, I told you if you kept this up and if you kept bringing it up I would block you, and so I did on twitter at the time, when you ignored that. I didn't block you on FA, or Bsky, or Newgrounds, or anywhere else, because twitter DMs were the most direct way for you to keep bothering me with this and rather than shut you down completely, I just wanted some space, so I still let you meander around in my other sites. It wasn't a matter of "blocking you out of the blue" and you NOW wanting to know "why". You WERE well aware of why I did it.
https://i.imgur.com/WO5WVgY.png
Conveniently enough, you didn't bring to light then the so many small paypal payments you've sent me throughout these 8 months with messages of all kinds, knowing that I WILL have to see them.
-https://i.imgur.com/PtDZVPl.png
-https://i.imgur.com/9V2Xew1.png
-https://i.imgur.com/UrMuUWX.png
-https://i.imgur.com/22PsjPt.png
-https://i.imgur.com/4ppKg2Y.png
-https://i.imgur.com/1XsZIpt.png
-https://i.imgur.com/yCO9phm.png
-https://i.imgur.com/DadMbUI.png
-https://i.imgur.com/cjXUzH4.png
Then, in a bad move from my part, I decided to be harsh for once and told you this
https://i.imgur.com/IgTKwbH.png
Which was a grave mistake from my part since you decided to cling to that, given that I gave you absolutely no other words to latch onto. So, months indeed passed by and I wanted to have nothing to do with you, and any sane person would've seen the writting on the wall and just moved on, not you though, because you insisted and insisted.
The phone number thing. Yes, I am aware you saw it because I KNEW I had it on display on Telegram, because that's the line I use for my jobs locally, and in a need to have people know my number in telegram, I had it displayed public. I don't care so much that you had it, but what you did with it: given with all that happened already, did you think the most sane thing to do was escalate it further, and instead of trying to bother me via internet, where I already wanted none from you, directly message me to my personal phone?
With that in mind, do you then believe that after what we've gone through, the most sane thing to do then is to send me a physical pacakge with no prior knowledge or agreement? I ask you, the reader, does that seems like normal human behaviour?
But, why then just stay at that? You wanted to bring this to light, Gusta? Why don't you then go ahead and tell them that you used my email to open a pornhub account in the past hours, why don't you go ahead and also tell everyone that you made a BetterHelp account with my email as well? I sure as shit know I didn't, because this happened well over early hours in the morning, while I was asleep, and both BetterHelp and pornhub stills requires me to verify my account, something you can't do since you don't have access to my gmail. And in that course, something I wouldn't do becauase I know BetterHelp is a TERRIBLE service for that matter, and like you, I wouldn't want to have anything to do with them.
-https://i.imgur.com/tleDYEp.png
-https://i.imgur.com/vgGbtEa.png
-https://i.imgur.com/vqsaDwX.png
-https://i.imgur.com/gh6VFvR.png
-https://i.imgur.com/cbD03m9.png
Better yet, why don't you tell everyone how you've given me a payment through paypal and then reported it as not getting the product, so I get flagged, being well aware that this is something people do to fuck other people over, because you know that this can potentially get my account frozen, leaving me with no source of income?
https://i.imgur.com/kIXOr3Z.png
Why don't you go ahead an tell them also how you are trying to guilt trip me for not deleting the Koda picture then? and from what can be implied, that I'm ok with an actual pedophile, instead of you, because that's what you're implying, right? You're no better than the asshats that wanted to put YOU in the same bag as koda for drawing something for him, when none of us knew at the time, and he wasn't outed as a pedophile. You know damn well that I do not support that kind of thing, but you want to be petty.
https://i.imgur.com/P4xqus5.png
I prioritized deleting all the drawings I made for you or that feature you from my gallery YESTERDAY because I was angry, and I wasn't thinking straight, and cleary in my mind at the moment I had no place to think about that thing, I will be taking it down now though, since you want to bring importance to that not because of concern, but in order to make me look bad.
Keep in mind people, this all has happened because I decied to grow distant on him, and ignore him, after telling him multiple times to leave me alone, over the fucking internet.
You want to be petty? Why don't you also tell everyone how you wanted to know my actual living location in Cali? why don't you tell everyone how have you gone through the official facebook and instagram pages of my university looking for photos that could even remotely feature me in the classrooms or the installations? why don't you tell everyone how have you found obscure projects of mine posted on random pages of the internet as college homework? Sure, those things are up to the public, and everyone can access to them, it's not that that matters, it's the fact that you've gotten out of your way to go to these extents to find things that aren't precissely easy to find. And then with all that I've said, I ask you again: Do you believe this is normal human behaviour?
The truth of the matter is, you are a stalker, and someone obsessed with me in more ways than one. You are a sick person, who simply cannot take no for an answer, again, you have nothing else going on your life, as you yourself have said it, at first, I genuienly wanted you to meet other people, to go outside and do something, get ANYTHING or ANYONE else in your life that didn't have to revolve around me, because if I were to disappear, then you would have nothing, and that made me feel bad for your, out of compassion.
But now I can't help but feel nothing for you, I don't wish you bad, I simply do not care. I just want you to leave me alone and let me be misserable in my goddamn filth, while I try to pull myself up through my own means. Get it through your thick skull: I do not want your help, I do not want your friendship, I do not want your trust, I do not want to have anything to do with you. I never loved you in the way your twisted mind may have tried to convince you of, I never trusted you, and now, I do not care about what happens to you, good or bad.
Meeting you, was a mistake.
Prices, other places, background characters and people.
General | Posted a year agoAs the cost of living undoubtely increases every year, I've found myself making changes to the prices of my pieces. While I strongly dislike the idea of doing it, I do find it at the very least comforting that it took me exactly one year since I made the last change to my prices, and I hope I can at the very least keep it at that rate. The prices for individual characters have increased $10 each, but the prices for illustrations featuring two or more characters has either stayed the same or has become slightly cheaper. This is mostly because I really still do not like the idea of someone shelling out more than a hundred fucking dollars into one of my drawings, and because I think the prices are reaching their highest point I feel comfortable offering them for the quality that they display, while trying to still offer some affordable options instead of the full-balls-to-the-wall-whole-enchilada type of deal. I really don't want, and I really do hope that I don't have to increase these numbers for a long time anyways. I know most people don't care, but like I've always said in matters of money, I like to be transparent.
But, don't just take my word for it, you can compare these new prices to the old price sheet I featured.
In other topics, you can find me at bluesky and newgrounds. While I have a presence on twitter, I've never liked the site in the first place and I don't seem to find a proper hour to post so people can actually see the posts, I keep it up mostly because there are people there still interested in getting the YCHs that I share from time to time that don't follow me here. Barely any people follow me on BSky and NG so I don't post them there, so I believe limiting myself to just sharing them here is not fair for those who actually are interested in buying them. Regardless, if you want a different place to follow me, you have those other two (three?) options.
https://donyadesmond.newgrounds.com/
https://bsky.app/profile/roamingdes.....nd.bsky.social
I also want to draw more "forgotten" characters, as you can see recently I did a piece with Maeve, and I'm looking to do something with her sister, Hazel, but I'd like to know if there are other characters you people would like to see more of, because the only explicit, rare drawings I do mostly feature Ace and Madison, and those are more about character development or exploration, rather than actually fucking porn. So, I guess now's your chance to let me know if there's this one character I apparently did just one piece of, or that I haven't drawn in a while that you'd like to come back, I suppose.
-Topaz doesn't count.-
Finally, I'm once again asking you to check
EggMarcelo, a college's colleague and friend. He's mostly active on twitter (https://x.com/GMarcelo0_) but I have been trying to convince him to use other platforms to have other chances to be found. He's... not as active, but I really would like for some people to reach out to him and give him like... some comments, or buy something from him (like me, he also could use the money, if you think I'm getting too greedy now and don't deserve your money anymore), I don't know, something that shows him that it could be worth posting more of his drawings online. I don't expect him to like... blow up or something from overnight, but it'd be a waste for him to just drop what he likes to do, so give him a chance if you find the spare time.
But, don't just take my word for it, you can compare these new prices to the old price sheet I featured.
In other topics, you can find me at bluesky and newgrounds. While I have a presence on twitter, I've never liked the site in the first place and I don't seem to find a proper hour to post so people can actually see the posts, I keep it up mostly because there are people there still interested in getting the YCHs that I share from time to time that don't follow me here. Barely any people follow me on BSky and NG so I don't post them there, so I believe limiting myself to just sharing them here is not fair for those who actually are interested in buying them. Regardless, if you want a different place to follow me, you have those other two (three?) options.
https://donyadesmond.newgrounds.com/
https://bsky.app/profile/roamingdes.....nd.bsky.social
I also want to draw more "forgotten" characters, as you can see recently I did a piece with Maeve, and I'm looking to do something with her sister, Hazel, but I'd like to know if there are other characters you people would like to see more of, because the only explicit, rare drawings I do mostly feature Ace and Madison, and those are more about character development or exploration, rather than actually fucking porn. So, I guess now's your chance to let me know if there's this one character I apparently did just one piece of, or that I haven't drawn in a while that you'd like to come back, I suppose.
-Topaz doesn't count.-
Finally, I'm once again asking you to check
EggMarcelo, a college's colleague and friend. He's mostly active on twitter (https://x.com/GMarcelo0_) but I have been trying to convince him to use other platforms to have other chances to be found. He's... not as active, but I really would like for some people to reach out to him and give him like... some comments, or buy something from him (like me, he also could use the money, if you think I'm getting too greedy now and don't deserve your money anymore), I don't know, something that shows him that it could be worth posting more of his drawings online. I don't expect him to like... blow up or something from overnight, but it'd be a waste for him to just drop what he likes to do, so give him a chance if you find the spare time.In a bad state of mind.
General | Posted a year agoLast couple of nights I haven't slept. I've also developed this twitch in one of my legs that won't go away. I'm having trouble trying to stay focused on one thing only and it's reached its highest, I can't maintain thoughts, everything is overwhelming me, I'm constantly feeling sick, and I'm feeling this sense of constant dread around me because it feels like I'm always trying to play catch up with life and all its debts, be it rent, be it the services, be it college. I feel like I don't have a solid ground to stand on and I'm constantly trying to mantain my head above the water, adding to that I don't know how to actually swim. I haven't been able to actually finish a piece in so fucking long, yet at the same time I have this constant feeling of urgency to finish the things in queue because otherwise I won't have money to pay yet another month.
I don't know how to put it with words. I'm struggling to even stay still in once place. I've been having claustrophobia and that hasn't helped me either to sit down and work. I feel like I have so many things to do yet I don't have the tools to finish yet even start them, which is a problem for reasons I already said.
I want to give up on everything so bad.
I don't know how to put it with words. I'm struggling to even stay still in once place. I've been having claustrophobia and that hasn't helped me either to sit down and work. I feel like I have so many things to do yet I don't have the tools to finish yet even start them, which is a problem for reasons I already said.
I want to give up on everything so bad.
Yeah I'm also making a journal, are you annoyed yet?
General | Posted a year agoI'll be brief, because we've done this dance a thousand times now, and at this point I'm just jaded. But again, I need money to pay for this month's rent, that is, november, that is ending just in a couple days.
That gives me more or less 2 days to make a 100 bucks, which don't ask me how the fuck am I gonna pull it out but I have to.
Especially now since the college's semester is over and I should finally have the time to actually work, which, in a related note, fuck college, it has utterly and completely ruined the past 3 years of my life, but you don't want me to get on a tangent of how it financially, emotionally and socially destroyed me, you're here for the chance of getting some 6 ft. tall lady with an equally as long dick shoving it down someone's throat (most likely mine, just like how college and life are doing at this very moment.)
Do help, do not. Up to you, at this point, if you pay me, I dance, I guess, but I know we are all tired of me annyoing everyone with this, so maybe it's a sign from life to get off this train and do something else for a living.
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/49798160/
That gives me more or less 2 days to make a 100 bucks, which don't ask me how the fuck am I gonna pull it out but I have to.
Especially now since the college's semester is over and I should finally have the time to actually work, which, in a related note, fuck college, it has utterly and completely ruined the past 3 years of my life, but you don't want me to get on a tangent of how it financially, emotionally and socially destroyed me, you're here for the chance of getting some 6 ft. tall lady with an equally as long dick shoving it down someone's throat (most likely mine, just like how college and life are doing at this very moment.)
Do help, do not. Up to you, at this point, if you pay me, I dance, I guess, but I know we are all tired of me annyoing everyone with this, so maybe it's a sign from life to get off this train and do something else for a living.
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/49798160/
FA Raffle winners.
General | Posted a year ago
ctwoafiveb and 
Galaxias. I'll be contacting you in this order soon enough. Thanks to all who decided to participate in this, and here's to swallowing more warm, fizzy, frothy 𝚌 𝚑 𝚊 𝚖 𝚙 𝚊 𝚐 𝚗 𝚎 in the future.Cortisol levels at an all time high.
General | Posted 2 years agoI've been having a lot of internet issues for the past week or so. Rendering me unable to do pretty much anything, I've been working on the queued works as much as I can before needing the other party's feedback but know that this whole radio silence is because I literally have no access to internet, at the best moment possible, when I need to do a bunch of work and college shit.
This IPS is dogshit, but their fucking invoice is always on time for you to shellout the money you don't have because you can't work because you don't have the fucking internet service they should be fucking providing you in the first god-fucking-damn place.
This IPS is dogshit, but their fucking invoice is always on time for you to shellout the money you don't have because you can't work because you don't have the fucking internet service they should be fucking providing you in the first god-fucking-damn place.
A waste of my time.
General | Posted 2 years agoCouldn't recover nothing from the hard disk, the thing was too scratched and they allegedly tried with three different hard drives (first one which I paid for) So I just have a hunk of junk, and -600$ that of course aren't getting refunded.
How fun.
How fun.
You cannot make this shit up.
General | Posted 3 years agoI've been out of touch with the media not because I was busy working on all the pieces I had queue, and still have. I managed to get enough money to pay for the whole 300$ crap deal. Life, on the other hand, had just other wrenches to throw at me.
Turns out now I've lost my Hard Drive, 500 GB of "everything", and everything inside of it, including, but not limited to:
-all the drawings files you see in this account, in my twitter account, in e621, in newgrounds, and pillowfort
-all the jobs I've done for people, doesn't matter if you got it on my start in 2017, or just a couple days ago
-all my college archives, from the very first semester
-my comic I was just finishing the final pages of.
-the drawings people have made for me
-I don't know, around 10 or so more years of my life information.
And at this point, I just can't be bothered, this is genuinely just my run of the mill day to day, cause of many things I just won't list here again.
And at this point, I'm just tired, not even sad, not even angry, I just lack the physical and mental energy to just feel that way, and the only thing left that was the reason to get up of my bed all the morning has also gone bust, and I just haven't found anything to keep going anymore.
I haven't been around not because I lack the way to do so (which I kinda do because it's a workaround to use my pc now with a spare hard drive) but just because I just can't, emotionally and mentally I just cannot anymore.
You simply cannot make this shit up. You can't. No one is this fucking unfortunate on a daily basis.
Don't give me a lecture on how not to put all the eggs in one basket. If I could have, I would have, but I couldn't, so I didn't.
Turns out now I've lost my Hard Drive, 500 GB of "everything", and everything inside of it, including, but not limited to:
-all the drawings files you see in this account, in my twitter account, in e621, in newgrounds, and pillowfort
-all the jobs I've done for people, doesn't matter if you got it on my start in 2017, or just a couple days ago
-all my college archives, from the very first semester
-my comic I was just finishing the final pages of.
-the drawings people have made for me
-I don't know, around 10 or so more years of my life information.
And at this point, I just can't be bothered, this is genuinely just my run of the mill day to day, cause of many things I just won't list here again.
And at this point, I'm just tired, not even sad, not even angry, I just lack the physical and mental energy to just feel that way, and the only thing left that was the reason to get up of my bed all the morning has also gone bust, and I just haven't found anything to keep going anymore.
I haven't been around not because I lack the way to do so (which I kinda do because it's a workaround to use my pc now with a spare hard drive) but just because I just can't, emotionally and mentally I just cannot anymore.
You simply cannot make this shit up. You can't. No one is this fucking unfortunate on a daily basis.
Don't give me a lecture on how not to put all the eggs in one basket. If I could have, I would have, but I couldn't, so I didn't.
Pack it up.
General | Posted 3 years agoWell, that about wraps it up. I'm all out of money, and I'm in a countdown towards ends meet to make around 300$ to pay the bills before I no longer have internet, energy, or a house to sit my ass in. This is no "going back to my parents' house". this is my parents house, my father lost his job, and I can't get one due to college eating up all my time, and even if I did, the minimum wage here isn't enough to cover things or worth the downright inhumane employee treatment (working 16 hours a day, with a superior that treats you like dogshit, seriously look it up, it's almost law here in Colombia,) I was quite literally making twice what my father even hoped to be paid thanks to currency exchange, so doing works on the internet WAS more profitable, but that suddenly came to a stop either because people understandably got jaded of me pushing the monetary part of my drawings too much, or because people just lost interest in my drawings.
Any suggestion on what you'd like me to do for money, or before I leave?
I'm also not blind to the situation, it's funny looking back and see my life degrade more and more as it went further down into the drain, I know this isn't the first time I make up a post like this. I'm just tired that my life didn't turn up to what everyone promised me it'd be, but my parents didn't raise no quitter, so, if I'm sinking, at least I'm gonna do it putting up a show. Hell, the best I can hope for is to be remembered like the bitch that made up a drama every so often until couldn't take it no more. So let's embrace the very last thing I got, I guess.
Any suggestion on what you'd like me to do for money, or before I leave?
I'm also not blind to the situation, it's funny looking back and see my life degrade more and more as it went further down into the drain, I know this isn't the first time I make up a post like this. I'm just tired that my life didn't turn up to what everyone promised me it'd be, but my parents didn't raise no quitter, so, if I'm sinking, at least I'm gonna do it putting up a show. Hell, the best I can hope for is to be remembered like the bitch that made up a drama every so often until couldn't take it no more. So let's embrace the very last thing I got, I guess.
A follow up.
General | Posted 3 years agoApparently FA doesn't like when you make Journals including information about your ransacked and beaten up psyche, because the previous journal got automatically removed, or reported either way. Doesn't matter any way or another, my opinions and matters I discussed there still stand, I haven't suddenly, out of a miracle started to feel better, I'm still miserable, but life goes on.
For quite some time now I've been thinking that constantly clogging my gallery or other socials with YCHs is just not good, I'm always just burning my brain into thinking what the next batch would be, not using that time to draw some other things instead. I also leave them to pretty much a coin flip, since sometimes I think they're really good but don't sell, sometimes I think they're garbage but people buy almost every slot, sometimes I think they'll sell and they sell, sometimes I think they won't and they won't, but it all pretty much comes to luck, is what I feel. Thing is that I still need to make money out of something, and leaving it out to luck is something that has given me anxiety from the start, and it has only gotten worse with current situations.
I'm planning on both do more miscelaneous fanart, and two, get requests via paypal donations, which is something I explain here. I'll reduce or even stop doing YCHs to focus more on these, because as I explain in the google document: "I want to do this to make characters that people would already be familiar with, or would like to see more of, instead of some obscure, Idk, demigod or something out of the deepest places of someone's fiction. I believe it'd appeal to a wider range of people."
I just overall think that doing the donation thing is better for both parties, it's still cheaper than my cheapest commission price (or the YCHs for that matter), you get to request a drawing you'd personally like to see, and if not, you'd still get to see what I do for others that have donated to request something to me (and hopefully convince you to donate some yourself). I don't have to burn my brain thinking about how to litter my gallery with the next YCH batch, and hopefully, hopefully make money out of it, cause again, right now I'm the only source of income in this house, and I'd be eternally grateful if you could help me (and I insist, you do get something in return.)
Although I'll keep on taking commissions, I neither can count on those solely, as those are too far and few in between.
Anyways, I'm crossing my fingers and hoping this will work, cause it's currently my last card in this heinous hand I've been given.
For quite some time now I've been thinking that constantly clogging my gallery or other socials with YCHs is just not good, I'm always just burning my brain into thinking what the next batch would be, not using that time to draw some other things instead. I also leave them to pretty much a coin flip, since sometimes I think they're really good but don't sell, sometimes I think they're garbage but people buy almost every slot, sometimes I think they'll sell and they sell, sometimes I think they won't and they won't, but it all pretty much comes to luck, is what I feel. Thing is that I still need to make money out of something, and leaving it out to luck is something that has given me anxiety from the start, and it has only gotten worse with current situations.
I'm planning on both do more miscelaneous fanart, and two, get requests via paypal donations, which is something I explain here. I'll reduce or even stop doing YCHs to focus more on these, because as I explain in the google document: "I want to do this to make characters that people would already be familiar with, or would like to see more of, instead of some obscure, Idk, demigod or something out of the deepest places of someone's fiction. I believe it'd appeal to a wider range of people."
I just overall think that doing the donation thing is better for both parties, it's still cheaper than my cheapest commission price (or the YCHs for that matter), you get to request a drawing you'd personally like to see, and if not, you'd still get to see what I do for others that have donated to request something to me (and hopefully convince you to donate some yourself). I don't have to burn my brain thinking about how to litter my gallery with the next YCH batch, and hopefully, hopefully make money out of it, cause again, right now I'm the only source of income in this house, and I'd be eternally grateful if you could help me (and I insist, you do get something in return.)
Although I'll keep on taking commissions, I neither can count on those solely, as those are too far and few in between.
Anyways, I'm crossing my fingers and hoping this will work, cause it's currently my last card in this heinous hand I've been given.
The aftermath.
General | Posted 3 years agoI'm going to save you the sob story, because it's rather depressing and you don't have the time for that on a goddamn furry porn site.
I'm back, sort of, thankfully. It's not still quite solid or perhaps permanent, but I got the mediums as to which I can go back to work, in a way, that is.
I did get some crucial stuff robbed from me by no other than the sad bastard who was the reason I left in the first place, so things may be a bit slow in the beginning, while I try to save up the money to buy me the lost gear.
With that said, after some have asked, and given the circumstances that have put me into the ground to such degree, I'm finally giving in, and opening a patreon.
I've reached a middle ground, since I don't like putting my content behind a paywall, but neither I like receiving donations without giving anything in return, and I hope that what I've come to isn't too greedy from my part.
What you'd mostly find on this patreon are going to be alts of publicly made drawings, I believe this could be a good way in which I can feel not that bad with getting donations, but also, without blocking the vast majority of you from seeing what I make, because, let's face it, with this following size I have at the moment of writing this, not many people will end up on patreon, and that's completely ok.
There is some exclusive content in there, but for the most part, we're talking about alts.
Alternatively, we can always continue on with the whole commission game we had going, I'm not sure if I'll continue making YCHs as often since I need to focus now on the whole patreon deal, but let's not discard that option just yet.
Regardless of whether or not you decide to help me with the patreon deal, get a commission, make a donation, or just simply stick to the ride for the public content, I'm grateful you're here, and I'm glad you decide to give some of your time to what I make.
I will periodically (most likely, weekly) post some of them publicly, but if you are interested, there are some things already published in there to see.
Also, bear with me as I figure this out since this is, indeed, my first time doing this kind of deal.
https://www.patreon.com/DonyaDesmond
I hope I can continue doing this, for me, but for the most part, for you.
I'm back, sort of, thankfully. It's not still quite solid or perhaps permanent, but I got the mediums as to which I can go back to work, in a way, that is.
I did get some crucial stuff robbed from me by no other than the sad bastard who was the reason I left in the first place, so things may be a bit slow in the beginning, while I try to save up the money to buy me the lost gear.
With that said, after some have asked, and given the circumstances that have put me into the ground to such degree, I'm finally giving in, and opening a patreon.
I've reached a middle ground, since I don't like putting my content behind a paywall, but neither I like receiving donations without giving anything in return, and I hope that what I've come to isn't too greedy from my part.
What you'd mostly find on this patreon are going to be alts of publicly made drawings, I believe this could be a good way in which I can feel not that bad with getting donations, but also, without blocking the vast majority of you from seeing what I make, because, let's face it, with this following size I have at the moment of writing this, not many people will end up on patreon, and that's completely ok.
There is some exclusive content in there, but for the most part, we're talking about alts.
Alternatively, we can always continue on with the whole commission game we had going, I'm not sure if I'll continue making YCHs as often since I need to focus now on the whole patreon deal, but let's not discard that option just yet.
Regardless of whether or not you decide to help me with the patreon deal, get a commission, make a donation, or just simply stick to the ride for the public content, I'm grateful you're here, and I'm glad you decide to give some of your time to what I make.
I will periodically (most likely, weekly) post some of them publicly, but if you are interested, there are some things already published in there to see.
Also, bear with me as I figure this out since this is, indeed, my first time doing this kind of deal.
https://www.patreon.com/DonyaDesmond
I hope I can continue doing this, for me, but for the most part, for you.
Why I haven't been as active as I used to.
General | Posted 3 years agoContrary to what most will believe, it's not college related.
Today is a particular kind of day.
Today I'm moving out of my house, or rather, I'm being forced out of. The person who legally and biologically is considered "my brother", drug addict, social scum, and a living true failure, person who I no longer have the desire of keeping silent of, has brought too much misery, too much bitternes and too much sadness and roadblocks upon my life, and the life of my loved ones. Today my parents have decided that since he doesn't even have a hole to go die into, and since they somehow still have some patience and love remaining for him, that he can't leave the house.
I want to make the next very clear, my parents are the most beloved and caring people I've could've wished for in any life of mine, and I keep no anger or grudges against them in my heart.
However, I no longer have the willpower to continue being abused and steped on anymore, so I've been forced to do my life on my own, just like I used to do some time ago anyways. That of course has some implications. Chances are that I'll quit doing what I have going for, that is my drawings, and all the haha funny stupid shit I do on the internet, chances are that I will no longer have the income to sustain my internet, or whatever else I use to partake on the social media, most likely because I'll have to get another job, rather than to do this anymore.
If there is still anything you'd like to discuss, anything you'd like to ask, or anything you'd like to say to me, I suggest you do it now, because God only knows how long I have before I can't continue on this anymore.
Regardless, I think it has been for the most part, a blast, I've met a lot of fun and interesting and quirky people in the internet these years, and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.
Perhaps I'll prevail and continue on being everyone's monkey that dances for money in exchange of weird fetishes and doritos up someone's ass, perhaps, like counted times before, I'll manage through and nothing will change, perhaps not, I do not know. So in case I leave, and don't return, which is a high-chance scenario, just know that everything that has a beginning, has an end.
Ratzyukar.
Today is a particular kind of day.
Today I'm moving out of my house, or rather, I'm being forced out of. The person who legally and biologically is considered "my brother", drug addict, social scum, and a living true failure, person who I no longer have the desire of keeping silent of, has brought too much misery, too much bitternes and too much sadness and roadblocks upon my life, and the life of my loved ones. Today my parents have decided that since he doesn't even have a hole to go die into, and since they somehow still have some patience and love remaining for him, that he can't leave the house.
I want to make the next very clear, my parents are the most beloved and caring people I've could've wished for in any life of mine, and I keep no anger or grudges against them in my heart.
However, I no longer have the willpower to continue being abused and steped on anymore, so I've been forced to do my life on my own, just like I used to do some time ago anyways. That of course has some implications. Chances are that I'll quit doing what I have going for, that is my drawings, and all the haha funny stupid shit I do on the internet, chances are that I will no longer have the income to sustain my internet, or whatever else I use to partake on the social media, most likely because I'll have to get another job, rather than to do this anymore.
If there is still anything you'd like to discuss, anything you'd like to ask, or anything you'd like to say to me, I suggest you do it now, because God only knows how long I have before I can't continue on this anymore.
Regardless, I think it has been for the most part, a blast, I've met a lot of fun and interesting and quirky people in the internet these years, and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.
Perhaps I'll prevail and continue on being everyone's monkey that dances for money in exchange of weird fetishes and doritos up someone's ass, perhaps, like counted times before, I'll manage through and nothing will change, perhaps not, I do not know. So in case I leave, and don't return, which is a high-chance scenario, just know that everything that has a beginning, has an end.
Ratzyukar.
