It's been almost three and a half months since I tried to kill myself and during that time I've found myself a great friend who supports me in everything I do.This is very important to me and her well-being has become an important priority for me.
Please read this post from her, she really feel not well at all and she really deserves attention to her personality and her art.
Please, check more about this here:
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/11172704 ;

Also she have low-price promotion like mine right now and YOU can be her first supporter on way to the future artist star !
You can check her beutifull promotion here:
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/61401752/ ;

---

Thank you for all attention what you have for me and all your help <:"3

I opened a new offer for practice and collect money for good psychotherapist :"3

You can find Rules here:
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/61401819/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/61401819/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/61401819/

FA is back so am I >:P
This is will last journal about me in near time, I'm just back to work as an artist and try to show you more of my arts . ✦ ˚

In short, they didn't help me much and I'll have to find a psychotherapist myself with whom I'll work on myself and my mental health. I'll have routine checkups to better select antidepressants and tranquilizers, but overall I'm left alone with the problem and in addition to drawing I'll have to do this too. Otherwise, I may be hospitalized by force because I am a danger to myself. Most likely I will look for a part-time job and do more creative work to improve in this craft .So, despite all the things I suddenly have to do in my life, I will try to draw more and interact with you, my audience and friends~
I still feel really bad and I still think that it was a shame that I didn't kill myself, but hey, living in depression for 25 years and not doing anything about it just because I'm sure that I can commit suicide doesn't just go away. Khem.

So, I'm keep going, I guess <:1

For context, here are the previous journals about what happened in my life:
Update about treatment and assistance to those who care;
Failed suicide attempt;

---

˚ ✦ . Curent Commission Queue . ✦ ˚
1# — dragon ref-sheet  randomperson35 (Done)
2# — dragon shield  wheatley76
3# — 3 Disco Elysium Portrait  randomperson35
4# — bird dancer  springtrapped.
5# — dragon lingerie  Zups
6# — dragon dead without head  bahamut_256

---

Thank you all for attention in me and my art <3

Everything was fine, but now some crap is happening again and I'm only person what need to blame for all this. I'm sorry.

I hurt myself badly. It was right arm, not enought for cut ability to write, but enought for bleed out completely. If I hadn't changed my mind at the last moment, then most likely I would no longer exist. I was scared. I chickened out. I know I should have just jumped from the third floor and that would have been enough to break my neck, but I did the first thing that came to mind and here is the result - I'm still alive. Broken. Hurt. And without money.

Ussually I take money only for nessesarry things: food, rent, tooth care. Just because I don't care about myself, I hate myself and want to die so I always have barely enough to live. But... if I can't kill myself I need to think what to do now. Because this attempt did not go unnoticed by my landlord and I don't know what she'll deside. Keep me or look for another person. And I'm scared as hell right now.
Maybe this is because I almost died and now hurt, weak, my arm on fire and etc. what's going on my mind or maybe I just trying to make a plan for keep thing going. Not loose my mind completely and, at least, draw commissions what I have for now( I'm sorry again, I'm so sorry...)

But for drawing I need to my arm healed (at least) and I need to be healthy enoght to sit on the PC. And this not to mention that I'm going to see a psychiatrist on Monday for further instructions and maybe he will give me prescription on some meds, what will costs too. And another problem with landlord who can toss me on the street because I'm crazy depressive shit...

So I asking for help. Asking for help my audience, because I don't have family or close friends on real live. I only have you, people who accept my art and give me reason to live. In future I want to be a good artist and draw a good nsfw comics, but for now I'm smoll stupid bird who realized in fucking 25 yeas that "I can't escape with suicide. So I need to be better."

I'm asking for help not just for pretty eyes. I myself am to blame for what happened and I will try to work it out as best I can.

I'll take any commission with any idea, I have second acc specialy to show that kind of arts -  DarkCacaduArt . Due to the queue of comms, I will be able to draw yours within the deadline of about 3 months. If it's sketch or something smoll - I can do it in 2 days.

Here's the info about commissions: https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10952879/

Please, help me and I'll try my best to fix all this shit with myself and bring to live rpojects, what I can show you. If you can, please, share this journal with your friends or just pin on acc. I'll be very, very gratefull for that.

Thank you all for attention. It means, really, a lot to me.

---

Goal: 440!!!/300$

It's in Russian(because it's only language what I know almost good), but there I'll post my thoughts, some sketches and stages of work for the commission (and also non furry content). Welcome in, if you're interested, of course <:3
Here the link:
https://t.me/+OIJszQbh_ho5YjIy
https://t.me/+OIJszQbh_ho5YjIy
https://t.me/+OIJszQbh_ho5YjIy

I'm opening a sketch comission in honor of Black Friday!
And I need something to eat because I have liretally any money for now (I'm hoping that when I draw bigger orders I'll have more commissions, but they're drawing very slowly because I've barely eaten for a week and a half now khm)
So if you'd like to support me you're welcome to follow the link!

The link on lowprice sell:
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/58884933/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/58884933/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/58884933/

I made the post about it, thank everyone for joining in and being part of it!

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/58730483/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/58730483/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/58730483/

I decided to celebrate my birthday in a unique way and make an art raffle. Please check this out! <:3

Link on post about raffle:
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/58646880/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/58646880/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/58646880/

So, I was able to raise the money for the tooth, and I was able to get it fixed. But afterwards, judging by what the doctor said about rotting and spreading the infection, all the shit that was in the rotten tooth got into my already weakened body. So the under-treated covid ended up being the main problem. "You fix a tooth, you get a worse version of a Covid. It's a "win-win", yey (no, fuck you)"

Now I am perpetually tired and weak, from which work on commissions delayed for a good two weeks. Like any worthwhile activity. I'm sorry about that :c

I'll try to post at least one drawing in the next week. All those who had time to order work from me, I will try to keep within a month, but I promise nothing. Unfortunately.

Something like that. I still need money for rent for next month, but I can talking about it only when I be able to generate content/compliting comms so, see you next time in my journal! I think.

---

Thank you for your attention. ✦ ˚

Please specify the price in private messages, here is a sample price list!

Sketch with 3 corrections (idea/poses/etc but not the character/characters):
- icon ->5$
- halfbody ->10$
- fullbody -> 15$

Lineart with flat color:
- icon -> 20$
- halfbody -> 25$
- fulbody -> 45$ ( the drawing takes on additional textures, light and simple surroundings )

Full render:
- bust/head ->35$
- halfbody -> 50$
- fullbody -> 70$+

Stickerpack:
- 15$ per sticker (10$ after ordering 5 and more!)

For additional character: +70%
For complex background: +15$+

For any choice I ask full payment of the cost. Payment plan available after 100$ (50%/50%)

Any edits while working are acceptable as long as they are within the bounds of decency. For example, you cannot change the idea of the work or the character's outfits after the details have been discussed and the sketch/lineart has been approved.

Deadline will be about ~ 1-2 months or faster, depends on how many orders I have in queue.

Hello there, dearest darlings~

Firstly, I managed to catch covid and have been suffering from it for two weeks now, which is why my productivity in the art space is so bad. I'm trying to get treatment, but the successes are too "wave-like" to influence my creativity in a positive way. So we endure and hope that the disease will loosen its grip in the near future and I will be able to please us all with new drawings!

Secondly, I created a new account for special desires and fantasies. Account will be only for 21+ entities, you have been warned! :>

The link on 21+ acc:
https://www.furaffinity.net/user/darkcacaduart
https://www.furaffinity.net/user/darkcacaduart
https://www.furaffinity.net/user/darkcacaduart

Thirdly, I will be reopening commissions soon for a limited number of slots, so stay tuned, my little kittens.

That's all! Thank you all for your attention and stay safe! . ✦˚

Hello-hello, It just so happens that I have borderline personality disorder and that lately I have been sitting without the slightest movement or income. In 2 days I will have rent and if I can sit without food, then my landlord cannot sit without my money. So I need help, for which I am ready to LITERALLY do anything.
I'm not joking.
I think about prostitution, but MAYBE I can just sell my skils and my vision in art here.

Any fetish, any complex idea, I need money and I need it in near time.

GOAL is 80$

I hope that someone will be interested.