Welp, my father is mentally and physically done. Rejecting all help from paramedics now, his neighbour doesn’t want to have anything to do with him. I’m just going to let my sister deal with it, I’m so done. I wish we had been dead at this point. Shadow of himself…

I’m going to distance myself now…I’ve had enough of this..

I can't switch back to retro now.. I make a massive mistake..

well.. a start a new job on Tuesday morning after our long weekend...

….

Well..so much for having a career…dead end job it is…if one pops up mind you…

Feel like i want to vomit because of tomorrow.. seeing my dad, then also what might happen about a job... i've set my standards pretty low for pay, no benefits, commission, or bonus. Just to pay my bloody bills.

...man I am so depressed ...just hit me after I sent off a list of clients and crap... I hate this, I hate myself, come Monday it's end game and I'll need to spend what money I have left...I'm just so scared over everything... I hate my industry as well.

...i'm so anxious right now over this damn thing with this guy I saw yesterday... almost done with this damn list... I just can't work commission... i'm so damn dead in the water with everything. why did I take that damn job just to fuck myself. (yeah.. money)

..Commission only sales.... I can't survive on that... fuck sakes...Dead end job next week here I fucking come.

man.. just fuck all of it... need to find a dead end job.. i'm so sick and tired of it all..the contacts , then silence/ghosting. They all want Plug and play, or are just gathering resumes for with that orange Fuhrer gets. Bullet between the eyes. as soon as I find something I am going to delete my linkedIN account, and then change my phone number and E-mail address and drop off the face of the earth from all this shit.

After our Easter holiday I’ll go to someone , ask for minimum wage. Then eat shit..I really don’t want to be s bloody car jockey …they didn’t even look at my resume anyway

Wonder how Wednesday might go, place I interviewed with emailed me, to do a half day ride along…

Have a possible in person interview friday or Teams/zoom with a company I had a phone screening with... Dudes in Nashville and will be back on thursday, of course they are there because of the stupid tariffs that bastard in the US to throwing at us and everyone else... I'm so tired with everything...

got a phone interview tomorrow around 4 pm, another automotive parts advisor thing... but it's a freaking hours drive north ... but I need the money... :/ at least it's all highway and agains't traffic for the most part... and all he usual shopping places I need to go are there in the area so I don't have to travel too far out of my way to ave on fuel.

Well..going to call the guy that ghosted me last week…see where shit stands… then blast the son of a bitch for it, I despise that sort of thing.

..well.. got one last change I guess with the last few job applications i put in, even one more than an hour away. If I don't hear anything by maybe thursday morning, I'm going to apply for another role at a job recruiter place then hope for the best...

oh the joys of poeple not keeping their word...
I was supposed to hear back from a dude at one place that I went to the week before on a friday. nadda, I hate it when people do that. I mean if something came up let me know, don't ghost me

Wonder how my “interview “ will go tomorrow after some stuff…emailed another place to follow up since things are just getting to damn tight for me with money…

I’ll see if I can apply for a car jockey thing when it pops up, hell I even tried for service and parts advisor rolls

Welp, second interview done.. now the waiting game again... I hope something soon, i'm at the end of my rope.

Can’t sleep…hope I get a email on Tuesday for that freaking second interview before the week is out…if not, I have one more l lead, and if that fails…hunt down the car jockey thing and apply by Thursday…

...got a second interview next week... just waiting to hear about it, Where, and when.

Tired..but can’t sleep…I hope i hear about a job tomorrow…. And fuck companies that don’t look at practical experience

Last weeks interview, then someone reached out to me this morning on Linkedin from a company one of my old employers used to deal with, and be actually close by as well to the old shop.. Hopefully it could lead to something... I just need something to survive...

Well.. let's see if I get his job or not, Interview was over an hour... Nothing from the other place I interviewed at last week .. I have enough funs to last me for one more week..

Well..no Word today about a job from last weeks interview… the dude already left soooo oh well. Hope the interview I got on Wednesday will l as to something…If not then Thursday I will apply to be a car jockey… can’t wait any longer.