I'm away all week. Not that I've been regularly submitting art anyway, but I won't be around to say much of anything until next weekend.

I'll have some photos when I get back, but I'm not sure if you guys want a bunch of non-sexual photos getting in the way of the porn in my gallery. Thoughts?

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/8356873/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/8356851/

I'm happy with how it came out. Hopefully, Kotetsu will feel the same way. DEFINITELY not doing a plush for $50 again, though; that took like 40 hours of work, though if I didn't have to stitch everything by hand, I could've done it in 15.

I'm about finished with my current sewing project (a life-size latex Zigzagoon stuffie for  Ktu) and it's time to look to the next project. I'll be making a costume/fursuit for this year's FurFright. It has a zombie theme.

I've got plenty of fabric lying around, including Mudkip colors of latex and fur, a bunch of assorted red/black/white fur, tons of other latex colors, some metallic copper spandex, leather...

I don't want to make a straight Mudkip costume, because I'm going to get swarmed with catchphrases even worse than when I went as a Creeper last year. Maybe a zombie Mudkip head covered in axe wounds? Help me out :)

I've got a consultation with a gastro surgeon on Monday. With any luck, I'll be in the OR within a few weeks, getting my stomach and esophagus re-aligned. If the surgery works, that means I'll be taking one fewer medication, and I'll avoid an awful lot of discomfort!

Wish me luck.

Choose wisely!

Summer means warm weather, long days, and vacation. It's not my favorite season, but I am still looking forward to a lot of hiking, swimming, and meeting up with friends.

I wonder whom I'll get to meet for the first time this year. Maybe it's you!

Yup, but I'm going to the doctor on Monday.

And here's this week's embarrassing personal question!
How often and where do you masturbate?

For my part, I'm lucky to do it once a week, and typically in the bathtub...

So sue me! (No, don't actually sue me. Flu sucks, but I'll be better soon)

 Bludgeon and I want to do some collabs, but we're a bit short on ideas. Let's brainstorm! Some of them will indeed end up getting made, so you have nothing to lose! POST AWAY!

DON'T ASK ME ABOUT THE QUESTIONS; IT'S FOR A PROJECT

1) What is the MOST BADASS thing you've ever witnessed?

2) Have you ever been bitten by a snake or struck by lightning?

3) Have you ever been in the eye of a hurricane?

4) What's the coldest water you ever swam in?

5) Cauliflower: awesome, or awful? There is no middle ground!

EDIT: Mine are:
1) Probably a guy climbing up a stack of 8 chairs supported atop a few glass beer bottles, atop a table. He had fallen on the previous performance, months before, and nearly died.

2) Not yet, but with the way I handle snakes, it's only a matter of time: http://i49.tinypic.com/27zdhj6.jpg

3) Yup. It was awesome.

4) Freezing - 32 F, 0 C. It was flowing too fast to turn to ice.

5) It does depend on how it's cooked. Curried cauliflower soup is awesome.

C'mon, guys, you haven't been particularly vocal lately! Even a cold aquatic heart like mine could use some company once in a while. Chat me up, send me a PM, leave cryptic messages on my 3DS... whatever it takes.

And conversely, I'm sorry I haven't had much to contribute here lately. It's not that I'm inactive; I've got a lot going on, but nothing furry-related. My proverbial inbox is stacked miles-high with real world concerns. Back burner, front burner, it's all stuff that you would find quite dull and irrelevant. Want to hear it anyway? Fine!

- I'm getting surgery this Summer to fix my esophagus
- I'm working on getting an Australian work visa, which means getting officially certified in English and my field
- I'm building a big fancy case for all of my camera equipment, from scratch
- I'm on a pretty rigid exercise regime
- I have baby salamanders to care for
- I'm doing a plush commission, and as I have no sewing machine, it's very slow-going
- I am super busy at work, and jamming in as much OT as I can to afford said surgery

See? Nothing remotely interesting, but it's all more important than uploading shitloads of furry porn. My consolations!

That's enough of a hiatus for now. Do you have money? Do you want less money, but more art? I can make your dreams come true!

"But Average, why are you so greedy? Won't you do my art for free?"
Gather around, children, and I will tell you a tale. It is a story of deception, desertion, and desecration. Oh... you can't gather around? You're thousands of miles away? I guess I'll save that story for another day.

All of my questions! Immediately!

1) What is the most delicious meal you've ever eaten?

2) What is the most exhilarating amusement park / carnival ride you've ever ridden?

3) What is the most emotional you've ever gotten about a picture on FA?

4) What is the most valuable thing you've ever owned?

5) What is the most bizarre clothing you've ever worn?

Describe me in two words.

Go!

It looks like global oil production peaked in 2005-06, and we're headed down the long slope toward oblivion. We're staring down the barrel of an increase in oil prices. What does this mean for me and for you?

Gasoline costs about $4/gallon ($1.10 per liter) here at the moment. Historically, that's not a tremendous price; it's comparable, inflation-adjusted, to prices during the oil crisis in the 1970s. Many countries already have prices around $2/liter. A quick back-of-the-napkin calculation shows that it would have to hit $100/gallon or more to put a profound burden on my budget. If you live farther from work, though, things quickly get hairy. Let's say you live 20 miles from work (burning about 1.5 gallons per day), and you can make $150 net in an 8-hour workday. If prices leapt to $10/gallon, you would be spending 10% of your income just to get to work each day.

While gas is the most obvious cost, though, the price of oil has much more profound effects.

First and foremost, modern agriculture runs on oil. Every bit of it, from the seeds being planted to the plastic bags you use to bring it home from the supermarket, depends on oil. An increase in per-barrel prices implies a consequent increase in food prices. This is a HUGE deal, even if you have plenty of money to spend on food: the vast majority of the world's population won't be able to afford it. This means famine, war, millions (or billions) of refugees, and a whole lot of trouble for everyone. If we wanted to go back to pre-industrial farming methods, then the world would only be able to support about 1 billion people - and that's before global climate change kicks in.

Speaking of which! You don't expect oil to just disappear, do you? No, we're going to start making it out of coal and tar sands. Unfortunately, this has the consequent effect of producing a ridiculous amount of air pollution and greenhouse gases. Mining tar sands is the ultimate faustian bargain; for a few more years of oil, we basically scorch the planet.

What else? We can't use corn-based ethanol as fuel. It takes more oil to produce that ethanol than you'd save. The whole thing is a big boondoggle for the corn industry. Electric cars would be cool, but we don't have the infrastructure for them, and you'd better believe Afghanistan's going to turn into an unholy hell of war when everyone goes after its lithium deposits.

Mass transit? Sure, that's the future of transportation in Europe. Here in the US, though, the vast majority of the country's not nearly dense enough to support mass transit without heavy subsidies. What's that mean? No more house in the suburbs; you need to move to the city.

So what are you planning to do when gas hits $10/gallon? It's not going to happen today or tomorrow, but in 3-5 years, so plan accordingly!

Howdy, friends, watchers, and random passers-by! It's the weekend again, and that means I'm posting another journal. You know how it goes.

I haven't been super active this past week, mostly due to a bunch of overtime work and lots and lots of sewing. Tonight, however, it's time for a change! I'll be streaming shortly. You want to see some art? Well, I don't know about art, but I can sure as hell give you porn!

Today's topic of discussion: Ever gotten a really salient fortune cookie? I went on a date once, and got one that said, "You will have a romantic evening." AND I DID!

The following is my favorite poem, from Charles Baudelaire:

Rappelez-vous l'objet que nous vîmes, mon âme,
Ce beau matin d'été si doux:
Au détour d'un sentier une charogne infâme
Sur un lit semé de cailloux,

Les jambes en l'air, comme une femme lubrique,
Brûlante et suant les poisons,
Ouvrait d'une façon nonchalante et cynique
Son ventre plein d'exhalaisons.

Le soleil rayonnait sur cette pourriture,
Comme afin de la cuire à point,
Et de rendre au centuple à la grande Nature
Tout ce qu'ensemble elle avait joint;

Et le ciel regardait la carcasse superbe
Comme une fleur s'épanouir.
La puanteur était si forte, que sur l'herbe
Vous crûtes vous évanouir.

Les mouches bourdonnaient sur ce ventre putride,
D'où sortaient de noirs bataillons
De larves, qui coulaient comme un épais liquide
Le long de ces vivants haillons.

Tout cela descendait, montait comme une vague
Ou s'élançait en pétillant;
On eût dit que le corps, enflé d'un souffle vague,
Vivait en se multipliant.

Et ce monde rendait une étrange musique,
Comme l'eau courante et le vent,
Ou le grain qu'un vanneur d'un mouvement rythmique
Agite et tourne dans son van.

Les formes s'effaçaient et n'étaient plus qu'un rêve,
Une ébauche lente à venir
Sur la toile oubliée, et que l'artiste achève
Seulement par le souvenir.

Derrière les rochers une chienne inquiète
Nous regardait d'un oeil fâché,
Epiant le moment de reprendre au squelette
Le morceau qu'elle avait lâché.

— Et pourtant vous serez semblable à cette ordure,
À cette horrible infection,
Etoile de mes yeux, soleil de ma nature,
Vous, mon ange et ma passion!

Oui! telle vous serez, ô la reine des grâces,
Apres les derniers sacrements,
Quand vous irez, sous l'herbe et les floraisons grasses,
Moisir parmi les ossements.

Alors, ô ma beauté! dites à la vermine
Qui vous mangera de baisers,
Que j'ai gardé la forme et l'essence divine
De mes amours décomposés!

http://www.furfright.org/
October 26-28

Here's the deal! This is the only convention I attend, and I will continue to do so as long as it stays relatively small. It's pretty fun: dress up, attend some classes, share a chuckle at some of the weirder fringes of the fandom, and catch up with your buddies.

If you go, you will almost certainly meet me. I can't guarantee you'll have as awesome a time as I do, but chances are pretty good. And if we're good buddies, you won't even need a hotel room.

"What's that, Av? What did you just say?"

I've got a bigger apartment this year. It's got a porch, and a spare bedroom, and an honest-to-god dishwasher. Even if my bro  classified-crud and ladybro  mirachayapanther are living here, we can comfortably fit another two or three people on inflatable mattresses.

I realize it's futile to ask people if they want to come up and stay with us, because plans inevitably change, but I'm definitely ready to make commitments if you are. I'm not going to go around individually soliciting people this year. If you are interested, let me know. Type something here, or send me a note. Heck, even if you're not planning on coming, type something here. I like getting comments.

Do you want art?

Do you want art you don't have to pay for?

Go here and do a thing.

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3388519/

Today, I will be streaming my part of a collab with  PolarFlare. This particular picture involved an anthropomorphic eagle with boobs! So I got to thinking about it, as I often do, and decided to make a poll.

Boobs on snakes! Arms and wings on birds! Penises on birds! One set of tits on mammals that typically have several pairs! How do YOU feel?

POLL: Which would you say best describes your opinions regarding anatomical correctness?

1) For both feral and anthro characters, I don't mind features not matching their species. - 2 votes
2) For feral characters, I prefer their anatomy to be correct. For anthro, anything goes. - 6 votes
3) For anthro characters, I prefer their anatomy to be correct. For feral, anything goes.
4) For both feral and anthro characters, I prefer all anatomy to match their species. - 3 votes

I am a generous guy. Unfortunately, not a wealthy guy, but generous nonetheless.

THE PRIZE:
I will draw one ridiculously detailed organ of your choosing. Cock, vagina, tongue, whatever. Really huge, nice, colored/shaded picture. All the details you want.

HOW TO ENTER:
Oh boy, this is the easy part. Simply post which of my submissions (or scraps) you like best. Yes, that's it! Post it here, one entry per person.

I'll choose the winner (using random.org) at the end of the week. C'mon, give it a shot! You've got nothing to lose.

EDIT: 15 entrants! Let's find out what random.org says!

Drum roll, please!

http://i42.tinypic.com/aza2xj.jpg - Number 15! The winner is MirachayaPanther, so please send me a note with your request. Thanks for playing, all! Until next time~

And second prize goes to... Number 5! That's Gyro_Ball. You give me a sketch someone else did (of one organ), and I'll do the rest.

Oh man, I started partying a bit too early. Not the "get shitfaced and fall down the stairs" kind of party, either. No, I didn't drink too much. I simply ate too much.

I know, it's better than starving, right?

I should be able to do some more art streaming tomorrow. I haven't been able to lately, mostly due to buying  Karnimani a car, which has REALLY eaten into my free time.

On the plus side, she got me a very nice camera lens for my birthday. Would you be interested in seeing some wildlife photos?

until I turn 27. My birthday is on February 21! 27 is pretty freakin' old already, but I'm still learning and still growing (hair).

Are you guys enjoying my streams so far?

Since last year's poll, I've added more M/M art and more soft vore. Awesome!

It's a new year, though, and hence it's time for new input. What do you want to see more of?

▀ - F/F
█ - F/M
█ - M/M
- Other genders/combinations
█ - Soft vore
█▄ - Hard vore

Make your voice heard!

It's time once again
to speak only in Haiku.
It will last all week.

Anything I say,
anywhere here on FA,
will follow this rule.

You can play along
and join in my "fun" challenge,
or simply tease me.

For those who had hoped
for a more poetic Av,
Let the games begin!