Looks like I can post normally again. So, we've got some news!

*  Flygon made me an Inkbunny account, which you can access here: https://inkbunny.net/Average In time, he'll upload everything that is posted here, in full resolution. This does NOT mean I am abandoning this account or will post art there preferentially. I have no interest in managing dual accounts, so I intend for business as usual to continue here.

*  Karnimani, my wife, needs a new car. Combined with the fact that I'm going to be out of work on August 25, and we're moving to a more expensive apartment on a 1-year lease, cash will be tight. Sorry if I don't commission people for a while, at least until I find new work.

*  Classified-Crud needs to do more work! If you catch him playing games, go bug him to get drawing. Feel free to flog him a bit if he won't.

*  Domino2 and I are doing a collab. If you are interested in Zebstrika, Pikachu, or Houndour, come back often.

Haiku are easy.
Simple enough to sound good,
prosaic and brief.

All this week, I pledge:
my writings here on FA
will all be haiku.

You may play along
if it pushes your buttons,
or simply enjoy.

This challenge extends
to any art I post here
for seven days hence.

Comments are fair game.
Should you feel a mite cruel,
post tons on my page.

I am getting fucked from every direction right now, and it's not even the sexy kind of fucking. I need to focus on the good things over these next few months, because they're going to be VERY trying.

So what if I'm getting laid off? I have six weeks before it takes effect, and that's enough time to find a new job. I'm looking especially hard overseas. I don't want to stay here any longer.

I'm getting a new apartment next month. It'll be bigger than this one, and will have a second bedroom so a friend can move in. It'll be a 12-month lease, so I'll have to pay a lot to move out if I get a job elsewhere, but... I'll have a job.

My insurance is good for 4 months after I stop working. I'm scheduling appointments within that time frame so I don't end up in trouble.

I've got an awesome wife and a devoted pet. They will help me achieve what I need.

Hugs are still free.

Charmander X Totodile week.

That's what I'm drawing, that's what you're going to get in my gallery. Maybe someone else's gallery, too.

A week has passed, and it looks like M/M was the big winner! Not that it gained an absolute majority, though; all choices were pretty evenly distributed. Accordingly, my next submission or two should focus on cocks!

If you're not a big fan of guy-on-guy, no worries. I've got some other work lined up that'll knock your socks off. Thank you for the input, guys.

And one last note for the week: Go give  Classified-Crud some cash for sketches. My plugging his services isn't entirely altruistic, though; he and I are planning a long-term collaborative effort!

What would you like to see more of in my gallery? I'll update the tally as numbers come in.

M/M: 6 votes
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M/F: 4 votes
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F/F: 4 votes
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Nonsexual: 3 votes
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Other: 5 votes
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In less important news, my endoscopy this week turned up some suspicious tissue. The doctor was worried it might be cancer, so he took a biopsy, and they still haven't called me back regarding the analysis. Waiting by itself sucks, but waiting to hear whether you're going to die this year? Awful.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barret.....agus#Prognosis
Edit: Biopsy results came back, looks like I'll live a little longer :)

What else? Oh yeah, this old cherry. I guess 4500 layoffs isn't enough, so it's been bumped up to 7500.
http://www.courant.com/news/politics/hc-malloy-must-cut-0625-20110624,0,3775710.story

I apologize if this is out of left field, and just a little bit forward of me.

WHEREAS
I'm throwing a big party for FurFright this October, here in Connecticut, and a bunch of my friends will be coming over, and

WHEREAS
Unfortunate circumstances have prevented the vast majority of the women I've invited from being able to attend, and

WHEREAS
Sausage fests can be a little awkward;

LET IT BE HEREBY RESOLVED THAT
If you're a chick, and you want to come hang out and party it up with some thoroughly awesome guys, I hereby invite you to the party, and offer to pay a portion of the associated transport fares and fees.

Edit:
- Also, I'm getting my endoscopy/biopsy on Tuesday! Wish me luck, ok? I don't want to end up dying before October.
- There are no invitations for this thing! If you want to come, just ask.

Whether it's for RP, teasing, flirting, or just general chat. I do really enjoy talking with my old friends and meeting new ones. If you fancy yourself one of the former, shoot me a note with your contact info! I have MSN Messenger, Yahoo! Messenger, AIM, Jabber/Gtalk, and, occasionally, Steam, IRC, and Skype.

http://www.furaffinity.net/newpm/average/

So, although I'm still working a lot of overtime, I've got some art for you! One today, one a little bit later, because a lot of work is going into it. Today's is a hard vore pic I made with  MirachayaPanther. The other has a certain violent elegance to it, done with  yellowpower. Want a preview? :)

Well, that was a fun vacation! I'm back home, and filled with renewed vim and vigor. Of course, while it's fun to look back on good times, it's just as important to prepare for the future. It's time to look for a new job and a new home. One problem: I have no idea where to go! I'm a highly trained traffic engineer, specializing in simulations of traffic patterns, and I can probably afford to be picky.

What say you, massive? Anybody need some better traffic signals, signs, and striping?

Easy question: what do you folks prefer? Personally, I like a clean-shaven crotch, but I don't mind short-trimmed hair. I suppose if I found someone with long, luxuriously soft pubes, I'd be down with that. Nice and fuzzy on my balls :)

Still no art posted? I know, I'm ashamed. I've got one collab with IchigoTora that's about 85% complete, but here's the thing! I just built a new computer. Massively powerful, tremendous processor speed, RAM, graphics power, and an SSD that puts to shame anything that TechReport's ever tested, including dual X25-M in RAID 0. So what's the problem? I don't have Photoshop installed yet. I'll be getting the latest version soon, though. In the meantime, I'll go ahead and upload an older pic that you've never seen before!

Well, it's certainly better than nothing.

Another week down, unfortunately without art posted. I'm working on something, though, so no worries! I've been working my absolute butt off, and for the moment, the layoffs are being postponed. I feel much like a live fish being dangled over a frying pan; toss me back or cook me up, I'm sick of waiting. I'm just hoping my insurance doesn't expire before I get the chance to get my surgery done.

Surgery, huh? You're wondering what's up in there? Well, I've likely got a hiatal hernia. If they're going to slice me open to take care of that, I think I'll have them take out my extra rib while they're at it; that can pretty much turn into shrapnel if I get into a bad car accident. The question of what I'd do with the rib afterward is one I'll leave up to your imagination, but rest assured I have plans.

And finally! What a horrible person I'd be if I didn't leave you guys anything to chat about. Do you like my Featured Submission? Think I should pick something else instead? Think it clutters the page and should be taken out? Speak, friends!

Boy, it's awfully boring here without much to draw! Together, though, we can change that. Here's the deal!

* I am not particularly good at sketches. If you make good sketches, then we should work together.
* Subject matter isn't terribly important. Ideally, since it's a collaborative effort, it'll be something we both enjoy.
* The quality of your sketch will determine the quality of my inking/coloring/shading. I'm not going to spend half a day working on a 10-minute sketch, but if you work up a masterpiece, rest assured you'll get my best as well.
* Heck, who knows? We might even get commissions.

So, how about it? Who wants to give it a shot?

Those of you who have met me know that I have some pretty hairy legs. That soft fuzz helps to keep me warm, keeps rain and snow off my skin, and makes me look quite tanned. Of course, not everyone likes to get down with Sasquatch, so I took the opportunity last weekend to shave all of that leg hair. Here are my impressions:

* My legs have about enough hair to fill a baseball.

* Am I ever cold! I've had to wear three pairs of socks for several days, and this is coming from a guy who walked two miles in -40 degree cold in shorts.

* Ingrown hairs are rough, but not unexpected. I assume they won't be as bad next time I shave.

* Shaved legs with jeans are ok. Shaved jeans with wool dress pants are NOT ok. Like a thousand little ant bites all day long.

* I look so unbelievably pasty white now.

The conclusion is, I don't intend to do this often. Just when I'm hooking up with someone who doesn't like the fuzz. Friends, what experience do you have with this? Is there an easy way to fix my problems?

I'd like to get to know you better! This includes, of course, your sexual interests, or lack thereof. It'll help me choose what I put in my future submissions. The questions are all open-ended, and I'll read it all, so feel free to elaborate!

1) Would you consider yourself asexual, pansexual, or somewhere in between?

2) Do you prefer to see males, females, both, or something else?

3) What species are your favorite?

4) Vaginal, anal, oral, or do you make your own orifices?

5) Penetration, frotting, or just foreplay/softcore?

6) Solo, pair, or moresome?

7) What fetish or kink drives you wild like nothing else?

And a few more personal questions that you're free to ignore if you don't wish to answer.

8) What brought about the best orgasm you've ever had?

9) Are you in a relationship?

A) How much sexual experience have you had?

B) How would you describe your sexual appetite?

C) What's the strangest sexual encounter you've had?

D) What's unique or interesting about your genitalia?

Look, I'm not saying I LIKE working, but honestly, I'd rather be productive than sit around all day. The money's pretty nice, too, but I could be making a good deal more in the private sector. Unfortunately for my wife and me, state employees have been turned into the scapegoat for our economic problems.

I've been employed for almost three years, but among ~2000 engineers, I'm the 13th-newest. As such, with any layoffs at all, I'm gone. My wife's in an even more precarious situation, since she's a seasonal employee. Our governor told us during the campaign that he wanted to create more jobs, but now he tells us to prepare for layoffs. He wants $2 billion in concessions from 40,000 unionized employees... that's $50,000 per person over two years. I don't even make that much money. On top of that, once I'm unemployed, I won't be able to generate any tax revenue (or really, do much of anything.)

What's the moral of the story? Don't trust politicians. They don't have your best interests in mind, nor the state's, nor the country's, nor the world's.

Well, it's been an awfully eventful week. Let's have a look at the play-by-play:

* My wife and I got a pair of 3DS
* Grabbed 16GB of RAM (hey, it was on sale)
* Canceled my trip to LA. Nobody there wanted to hang out with me and airfare was $1400...
* Got sick. Specifically, bronchitis and a sinus infection
* Lost 6 pounds in one day. I'm already skinny as fuck :(
* Possibly getting a foot of snow tonight
* Got a small raise

Huh. Well, at least it's not all bad news; I really like snow.

Edit: I'm nearly done with a SECRET COMMISSION, but you don't get to see that for some time. Much sooner, though, I'll have a very spicy picture uploaded. Here's a tiny little teaser...

http://i53.tinypic.com/6rm2ih.png

And yes, I'll be shrinking it down to about 1/4 size when I upload it here.

Looking through my submissions, I noticed that pictures I made thumbnails for ended up with a lot more views. With that in mind, I made thumbnails for all of my pictures! Who knows what effect this will have (probably nothing major), but I intend to make thumbnails for all my pics from now on.

You guys are the experts, you've been here much longer. Do you like thumbnails? How descriptive should they be? Any tips or tricks?

And finally, have a glance at my gallery: http://www.furaffinity.net/gallery/average/ You should be able to see all the new thumbnails there (if not, hit F5). Let me know if you have any suggestions, don't like the wording or colors, or just plain think something should be changed. And heck, while you're in there, maybe you'll notice something you didn't see before! The comics and massive orgy pictures, especially, should be more visible now.

I'm working on some commissions, so expect to see new art soon. My schedule is incredibly busy these days, but that could change at any minute, particularly if I get laid off. That, unfortunately, is entirely possible, so I've been wondering how much porn I'd have to draw to match my current salary.

Ha ha ha, yeah right. Let's just hope I can keep my job.

I've got a few free weekends in a row, and nothing to do with them. It's a bit early in the year to go on any serious hikes, I've seen the tourist-y places nearby, and I don't have the cash to go on a long vacation.

So, a simple question: any of you live near Connecticut? Not guaranteeing I'll get the chance to meet up with you, but it's be nice to make some local friends.

Well, how about that? I've (mostly) no art left to give you! No worries, though, there are a couple commissions I'm working on. Should you want one, consider me quite open for business.

I won't be uploading one a day anymore, which is probably for the best, as I'm quite hooked on Minecraft at the moment and I'll be getting Pokémon Black this Saturday. Money, though, takes priority: commission me and I'll get it done pretty quickly. Gotta pay off those student loans.

Is anyone else heading to the City next weekend for the Pokémon Black/White release party? It should be a lot of fun, but of course, I will stay hidden in the shadows (much like this restaurant: http://www.ninjanewyork.com ).

It is my birthday Monday! You won't see me online tomorrow, so don't expect the next upload until Sunday evening. A simple "happy birthday" is more than enough of a gift for me, so don't go out of your way to give me anything more!

This year's birthday will be bittersweet, though. The date marks one month since I last spoke with the man who is, in many ways, my best online friend. I'd felt very close to him since we met a couple years ago, but over time, our relationship seemed to fluctuate between bliss and potent depression on my part, interest and indifference on his. There's no doubt that I miss him, and I'm sure he misses me. It's a cruel machination of fate that our personalities are so contrary. I finally made the decision to cut off contact when I realized that the cycle would repeat forever otherwise.

If you're reading this, buddy, I hope your year is going well. If it should bring change to us, let's hope it brings us together instead of tearing us further apart.

Let's talk about stability, instability, and metastability. Those first two terms are certainly familiar to you, but stability is a bit difficult to define. In an emotional sense, stability means that one's emotions are predictable and relatively constant. Chemically, a stable compound does not spontaneously decompose or decay. Mechanically, stability is a minimum of potential energy. Instability is simply the opposite.

So, what is metastability? I suppose you could also call it "temporarily stable." Chemically, an isotope is stable if it takes more than a few nanoseconds to decay. Mechanically, a local minimum or saddle point is a metastable state. A small disturbance could easily upset the balance.

And what is emotional metastability? Perhaps it's an extended period of happiness, or a rut, maybe even a crush you have on someone. I'm happy to be metastable... at least, for the moment :)