For the most part, I haven't had to deal with as much of the same problems that most of the rest of the U.S. has had to deal with with these late winter conditions. When they have happened, it's been resolved rather quickly (or within the same day at least). Power went out on a couple mornings, but came back on after about an hour or so. Yesterday, a water main burst on my street. I was trying to use my sink that morning and saw the low flow of what was left in the pipes; then I looked out of my window to see two flooded lawns (and possibly basements but I'm not sure) of two of the houses across the street from me. Part of the street looked like it had a river running through it. Thankfully my house wasn't affected by the flooding- and that there wasn't any power failure to go with it- but good god was it a mess! It took the whole day for the crew that came by to fix it up. My Mom was able to bring me some extra drinking and cleaning water just in case, and we even just thought of melting a bunch of snow that was still in my back yard.
Now, while I really didn't have anything to worry about, this all happened when I had a different scare come up regarding my insurance. I won't go into that, 'cause all that's more personal; but having a busted pipe this close to me just set me off a little more than I already was. I was so uneasy the whole time they were working out there, and I couldn't do much more than binge watch Futurama in my living room instead of being productive in other areas. I was more worried about another mishap popping up somehow, and that there wouldn't much- if anything- I could do about it. This kind of behavior isn't really new for me, but given what's been going on in my life since November; it's like it's amplified a little. I've been an on and off hot mess more often than I ever was before, influenced by what's been going on with me personally and with what's been going on nationally and globally. I don't want to ignore it like I had been over a year ago, but all the negative crap and potential threats we face (Especially for BIPOC individuals and folks suffering from the pandemic and other possible medical problems) hasn't exactly been doing me any favors either, especially since there's only so much I can do. Some of the same stress relievers that I had aren't really available to me now, to some degree... though there are at least a few other coping mechanisms (that aren't self-destructive) that still help take some of the edge off.
This is a new kind of low for me, and things just get to me more easily than they used to. Maybe I don't have as much to worry about as I think I do, but being positive doesn't always work out for me. I don't want to fall back into being completely pessimistic or anything, but I can't help but be just extra skeptical and wary. Things are still going to be hard for me this year, even if the negativity and other problems clear up a little. I just hope my composure can build up a little more in that time.