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A series of events and a painful understanding.
7 years ago
General
Not many of my friends follow me here, but you know, what's the point in social media if you don't post on it. Time to turn a new leaf.
Well, it's out now, no one important to me is ignorant to my gender. Or well, no one important to me should be ignorant any longer.
Last Tuesday, my father started a rant, talking serious shit about trans gender people while I was driving him home from a late birthday dinner. (Though his earlier rant about how 'fake' all the things I like are, didn't set a good tone.) When we tried to inform him better, my live in partner and I, he doubled down on his rant with a rant about the LGBTQ people in the US and then demanded I drop him off on the side of the road while he continued to rant. I pulled to the side of the road, and because he kept doubling down, I lost it and yelled so loud it took 18 hours before my throat stopped aching. He threatened to punch me and some other shit went down.
After a couple more shitty conversations where he blamed everyone for manipulating me against him and took no responsibility for the situation.
We aren't currently on speaking terms and may never be again.
So...I guess all I have now is my chosen family, my blood has all been shed from my being because I could never get any of them to listen when I tried to say who I am. My name as it was given is a title of a person who has a professional career but is practically a mask to wear for legal reasons, it is a dead face to put on over my own.
On an unusual side note, I was sitting in the shower today, reflecting on what has happened, on symbols, on life. I had a weird, revelation...my character, as the measure of the tail was originally intended, arching backwards and touching their tail tip to their face to create a perfect circle, is an ouroboros of sorts.
Through the furious cycles of history, I am consumed, I am reborn, lighter one more source of trepidation and forced conformity. Again and anew a serpent of color, a being more true to myself with fewer people telling me who I am without listening to why fight.
aka Triss Chromata Ouroboros
Well, it's out now, no one important to me is ignorant to my gender. Or well, no one important to me should be ignorant any longer.
Last Tuesday, my father started a rant, talking serious shit about trans gender people while I was driving him home from a late birthday dinner. (Though his earlier rant about how 'fake' all the things I like are, didn't set a good tone.) When we tried to inform him better, my live in partner and I, he doubled down on his rant with a rant about the LGBTQ people in the US and then demanded I drop him off on the side of the road while he continued to rant. I pulled to the side of the road, and because he kept doubling down, I lost it and yelled so loud it took 18 hours before my throat stopped aching. He threatened to punch me and some other shit went down.
After a couple more shitty conversations where he blamed everyone for manipulating me against him and took no responsibility for the situation.
We aren't currently on speaking terms and may never be again.
So...I guess all I have now is my chosen family, my blood has all been shed from my being because I could never get any of them to listen when I tried to say who I am. My name as it was given is a title of a person who has a professional career but is practically a mask to wear for legal reasons, it is a dead face to put on over my own.
On an unusual side note, I was sitting in the shower today, reflecting on what has happened, on symbols, on life. I had a weird, revelation...my character, as the measure of the tail was originally intended, arching backwards and touching their tail tip to their face to create a perfect circle, is an ouroboros of sorts.
Through the furious cycles of history, I am consumed, I am reborn, lighter one more source of trepidation and forced conformity. Again and anew a serpent of color, a being more true to myself with fewer people telling me who I am without listening to why fight.
aka Triss Chromata Ouroboros
tinderpaw
~tinderpaw
Ahh shit, I'm sorry to hear that's happened, it always sucks when you have to cut off ties with blood family, but it sounds like you're going to come out in a better place as a result. I know you don't really use Skype anymore but if you ever want to chat again you've got me on here, I also have discord and telegram if you use either of those.
