I lost one of my best friends wednesday night (19/08/2009), some of you already know the story and I hope everyone learns from this tradgedy. As one the most experienced players I know, I hope this lesson is learnt by each and every one of us to never take chances if our lives could be on the line, not just in breath play but any other form of risky fetish activity.

For those that don't know the story I'm sorry that you didn't know him well enough to have been told the details, but it is not up to me to release these details.

He was a close friend and introduced me to Furry, let me wear his fursuit and helped me grow as a person, i will miss him terribly, as Ritalin he showed me the way.

I'm at a loss to know what to think, feel and do right now, I've never lost someone I care for before and it's difficult to move along when every minute feels like the most precious fragile thing in the world and you feel them ticking away one by one.

Life is fragile too, I know David lived it to the extremes but even so this news has left me completely dumbfounded. I treasure my love with Colin even more now as often this sort of event will trigger these sorts of feelings, making us all appreciate what we have even more.

I'm trying to be strong for Lawrence and be there, to do anything I can for him but at the same time I have reminders that David was a close friend of mine too and I should be looking after myself also, so I ask that one by one we are each that bit further down the line and we should all look after each other.

I know David and Lawrence have an amazing set of friends who reach far and wide across our globe who so far, I've only just scratched the surface of, and I've seen the well wishing and together I know we will all make it through this difficult time.

I'm writing this really to try and make sense of my own feelings, hoping that putting them down will help, I feel most for what's going on in Lawrences head as I know I've gone through the 'what if' of the same scenario happening to me and I know it's something that had kept me awake at night, and that was only my overactive imagination, the reality of it happening to someone I know still hasn't qute sunk in.

I hope everyone is with me on this, whether they are coming or not and whether they know about this or not. In the run up to the biggest weekend of 2009 for me and many of my close friends, I never thought we'd be mourning the loss of one of the crew, but life will go on and I decided this afternoon that as hard as it's likely to be to put on a brave face, GearBlastUK will go ahead and I will dedicate it to David's memory, I believe it's only fitting to celebrate his life in the kind of ways he enjoyed the most.


Rest in Peace David, you will be missed and never forgotten.