It's another sleepless night with no one to talk to..every time I find myself here I end up thinking of scenarios far ahead or far back or far out...I don't know how to act anymore, I believe this to be an honest depression that I cannot handle anymore. But who am I to turn to? Those who I call my friends have more important things to deal with than my growing anxiety. The one I once loved is now a torture to be around, and the one I did..the one I wanted to love is lost to me. And I'm just drifting, no, sinking...I'm alone through this all. And I wish I knew why...daily life is a pain. I wish to end it all...but at what cost, so I live on...for the sake of others...no one has noticed the shell I am now, and that's good or so I want to believe...so I write this out, perhaps it is a cry for help, perhaps it is simply my way of copping, this is the first I've ever done this. I pray it be the last. It's pitiful to act like this, or so I am told. But what choice have I alone stranded in a sea of torment. Gasping for a way out....