Hi everyone, something peculiar happened the other day when I said "Maybe there really is no true outlet for me and maybe art progress is holding me back in life" and ever since then I've noticed a lot of productivity when I don't feel like I need to oblige anyone online.

I think the truth is that I like my stuff way more than I could expect anyone else to, and I know this because of the hours and hours of ruminating and planning I do for these projects, but I'm always held back by the monstrous legion of potential roadblocks in the way, such as the social aspect of how/when/where to post and to who/why, how hard I have to work on it and keeping up an image, what media to do it in, how to preserve or archive it after, blah blah blah. A few days ago I just archived all my art to an old hard drive and all my traditional work to a box in the garage and I considered myself "not an artist" at least not in a public sense.

So about a hiatus, I know I don't talk to everyone and it would just be easier to leave without anyone knowing but that always gets people angry, even though I really should have the right to do that. But I felt I should mention that I'll be disabling this and the other account simply because I don't want to look at them. I feel no more compulsion to share art right now, and coming to this place just gets my hopes up for submissions or comments that might make me feel good, but honestly for me I treat it like a drug. Always looking for the next fix, and sometimes (most times) there just isn't anything to go around.

I think I sound kind of arrogant but it's really just how I feel. I can't really be myself I learned. When I started drawing my new drawings I let everything out because I knew I couldn't expect anyone to like it--or rather, the people who associate with me the most wouldn't like or appreciate it. I'm tired of shoving my work in people's faces only to squeeze out a short comment on it, I really wish I were more evocative. Even if I get to a point where my work is more evocative, I know I'll just use it like a drug again.

Anyway, you can thank my personal friends who've had gripes about me pulling my stuff in the past for this journal, I'm letting you know because most likely I will be on a site where I see you again (if you're not currently in my contacts). So I say get to saving. Honestly since I don't post anymore, not much is changing, I'd just feel more comfortable with disabling. I'll be disabling both my FA accounts and my IB account soon, probably will delete my Tumblrs, Twitters and Pixivs, maybe when I get around to it. So I'm telling you now to start saving lol, I sort of want to detach myself and I think this'll do the trick. Just disabling these ones. I'll be back probably in some way but I don't want to be here right now is all, probably will do it sometime this week.