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17 years ago
General
I have a question for you.
I've come to a cross roads with one week and trade winds.
Now you see my plane from the start was to start off big with lots of sex, and then work the plot in then end with a big bang in each. But now that i'm adding plot I've been getting less and less fav's.
So what i want to know is that if i spend the time to write out the plot are you even going to care or should i just start writing sex with no story behind it?
here's what i have for the next part of trade winds
Read this over and tell me if i should even bother with plots or i should just stick to sex.
Trade Winds Part 3
Equivalent exchange
=======================
Orin pressed the edges of his blades closer to the bull’s neck. “I’ll only ask nicely one more time.” The fox snarled. He saw the blood run along the sides of his blades as he dug deeper into the bulls flesh. Orin could smell the coppery scent of blood mixing with the pheromones of fear. A smile grew across his muzzle, and he licked his lips.
Tears started streaming down the bulls face. “I… I don’t know who you’re talking about.” His eyes darted to the headless body guards, and then to the snickering faces of the two other foxes.
“Wrong answer!” With a quick swipe of his sword he chopped off one of the bulls ears. The bull bellowed in pain, and he thrashed under the fox. “Now tell me who you sold the fox to this morning or me and my brothers will be having prairie oysters tonight!”
The bull curled his tail between his legs, and he whimpered in fear. “I… I don’t know his name. I had never seen him before today. He was a camel in his mid 30’s and he traveled with tiger close to his age.”
Orin slowly shook his head back and forth. “Ares, Hermes, pull down his pants.”
The two others bowed, and replayed. “Yes brother.” Ares and Hermes got behind their brother, and took a hold of the bulls thrashing legs.
“WAIT!” Shouted the bull. “I have something that will lead you to him.” The brothers started to pull the pants down reviling his heavy balls, and his thick meaty sheath.
Orin snarled at the bull. “Well speck up pussy before we give you one!”
“The man he… he traded me a sword for your brother. It… It had a jewel incrusted crest carved into it. I’m sure with that you could trake him down.”
Orin smiled, and drew his blades back away from the bull’s neck. “And where is this sword?”The bull pointed to the pile of shimmering gold next to the stage. Laying on top of it was the sword Achmed had traded for the cubs earlier that day. Orin stood up, and he swiped his blade through the air making the bulls blood splatter off them before he put them away. He picked the sword up and let the beautifully crafted blade dance in the light before he turned to his brother Ares, and tossed it over to him. “What can you tell me about it?”
Ares ran his finger along the length of the blade, and then balanced in on the tip of his finger. He gripped the golden handle and sliced it through the air a couple of times. “Oh my, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen a sword of this quality. I only know of six craftsmen in this area that could make a blade this fine, and there scattered across the western tribes.”
Hermes walked over to his brother, and took the sword from his paws. He pulled a pair of black oval rimmed glasses from his pocket, and put them on. He held the sword up so he could get a better look at the emerald crest. The outline was a dotted circle, inside were two crossed Scimitar swords with a palm tree rising from the ground behind them. He adjusted his Glasses, and then spoke with the scholarly tone of a king’s adviser. “In my research of the northern tribes, I did come across this crest in an old manuscript. -he adjusted his glasses once again- If my memory serves me right, the family that this crest belongs to lives in the city of Uruk. It’s about a day and a halves journey from here.”
A smile grew across Orin’s face, and he took the sword from Hermes. He walked over to the half necked bull. He tosses the sword in the air so that it would spin, when the blade pointed down, he grabbed the handle in the air, and thrust it between the bulls legs. The bull shrieked in fear as the sword logged its self just inches away from his sac. “Thank you for your help sir -he bowed- but let that be a warning to you. -He slowly raised his head and made eye contact with the bull. His eyes flickered with that same fiery rage as before.- If we find out your lying to us we will be back.” He stood up, and they made their way out of the city…
I've come to a cross roads with one week and trade winds.
Now you see my plane from the start was to start off big with lots of sex, and then work the plot in then end with a big bang in each. But now that i'm adding plot I've been getting less and less fav's.
So what i want to know is that if i spend the time to write out the plot are you even going to care or should i just start writing sex with no story behind it?
here's what i have for the next part of trade winds
Read this over and tell me if i should even bother with plots or i should just stick to sex.
Trade Winds Part 3
Equivalent exchange
=======================
Orin pressed the edges of his blades closer to the bull’s neck. “I’ll only ask nicely one more time.” The fox snarled. He saw the blood run along the sides of his blades as he dug deeper into the bulls flesh. Orin could smell the coppery scent of blood mixing with the pheromones of fear. A smile grew across his muzzle, and he licked his lips.
Tears started streaming down the bulls face. “I… I don’t know who you’re talking about.” His eyes darted to the headless body guards, and then to the snickering faces of the two other foxes.
“Wrong answer!” With a quick swipe of his sword he chopped off one of the bulls ears. The bull bellowed in pain, and he thrashed under the fox. “Now tell me who you sold the fox to this morning or me and my brothers will be having prairie oysters tonight!”
The bull curled his tail between his legs, and he whimpered in fear. “I… I don’t know his name. I had never seen him before today. He was a camel in his mid 30’s and he traveled with tiger close to his age.”
Orin slowly shook his head back and forth. “Ares, Hermes, pull down his pants.”
The two others bowed, and replayed. “Yes brother.” Ares and Hermes got behind their brother, and took a hold of the bulls thrashing legs.
“WAIT!” Shouted the bull. “I have something that will lead you to him.” The brothers started to pull the pants down reviling his heavy balls, and his thick meaty sheath.
Orin snarled at the bull. “Well speck up pussy before we give you one!”
“The man he… he traded me a sword for your brother. It… It had a jewel incrusted crest carved into it. I’m sure with that you could trake him down.”
Orin smiled, and drew his blades back away from the bull’s neck. “And where is this sword?”The bull pointed to the pile of shimmering gold next to the stage. Laying on top of it was the sword Achmed had traded for the cubs earlier that day. Orin stood up, and he swiped his blade through the air making the bulls blood splatter off them before he put them away. He picked the sword up and let the beautifully crafted blade dance in the light before he turned to his brother Ares, and tossed it over to him. “What can you tell me about it?”
Ares ran his finger along the length of the blade, and then balanced in on the tip of his finger. He gripped the golden handle and sliced it through the air a couple of times. “Oh my, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen a sword of this quality. I only know of six craftsmen in this area that could make a blade this fine, and there scattered across the western tribes.”
Hermes walked over to his brother, and took the sword from his paws. He pulled a pair of black oval rimmed glasses from his pocket, and put them on. He held the sword up so he could get a better look at the emerald crest. The outline was a dotted circle, inside were two crossed Scimitar swords with a palm tree rising from the ground behind them. He adjusted his Glasses, and then spoke with the scholarly tone of a king’s adviser. “In my research of the northern tribes, I did come across this crest in an old manuscript. -he adjusted his glasses once again- If my memory serves me right, the family that this crest belongs to lives in the city of Uruk. It’s about a day and a halves journey from here.”
A smile grew across Orin’s face, and he took the sword from Hermes. He walked over to the half necked bull. He tosses the sword in the air so that it would spin, when the blade pointed down, he grabbed the handle in the air, and thrust it between the bulls legs. The bull shrieked in fear as the sword logged its self just inches away from his sac. “Thank you for your help sir -he bowed- but let that be a warning to you. -He slowly raised his head and made eye contact with the bull. His eyes flickered with that same fiery rage as before.- If we find out your lying to us we will be back.” He stood up, and they made their way out of the city…
try this, post the same picture, one a g rated version and the other a porn version. the porn version will ALWAYS get more views/favorites/comments
this is no longer a community. its now simply a porno site
now when I told them I was switching to G rated...there was an uproar...well not really but many people weren't happy...
x.x
I hate that that's what happens...like this artist
anyhoo, I switched from pron to G because I don't feel like I should be spending time on artwork that people fap to...although I still will when I feel like it...hence my other account
I don't know if I'm making sense here...kinda just streaming my conscience...but yeah, good art should be appreciated too...
Why do i have to be broke T.T
that's what I'm doing!!!
and yeah, his art is OMFG!!
For instance in 'Sunday' I was *blush* "getting into" the moment/story and then you completely came out of nowhere with Benet's horrible past. It completely killed it for me. I DID like hearing more about him. It gave structure and depth to the character and brought you a little closer to him. Which I liked. And I really liked the end a whole lot because it showed love between Benjamin and Benet rather than lust. I think if you found the right mix of character development and the yummy stuff you'll really have something.
I can't remember the name of the story but the artist 'Blotch' did work for a story that had complex scenarios and characters but managed to get in some naughty scenes too. But the story was about the love the characters felt for each other not just sex sex sex, so I don't know.
I think it might not hurt to have your naughty sex series with a mild plot that drives it but lets the focus be on the sex scenes. And then have your more plot driven stuff with sex but there be deeper character development so you have that as an avenue for your creative juices. I think it could work.
Those are my two cents I guess. I hope that helps. I know sometimes us furries need a quick sex/porn fix. (I know I'm guilty of it.) >.> I can't tell ya how many times I turned to Trade Winds or A Beginning to an End or Sleep Over for that. But even so, as a gay bunny, I appreciate development and plot just as much as the straight to the sex stories. I know that may make things a little difficult. :/ But there you have it mister. I know it's a little long but that's what I was thinking.
Hope you had a good weekend. *hugs* and in response to your shout; thank you for the kind words. Drama stinks; that's for sure. Oh and you're most welcome. It's always nice to meet such a nice guy. :3 *hugs*
Anyway thank you so much for this beautiful critique, oh and the story i think your thinking of is out of position :3
Also i did not know you were a bunny -shiftily eyes, and grabs your cute bunny butt.-
My wife writes slash fanfic, and does so by writing each scene she wants to have, seperating them by ---- lines. Then she goes back and organizes the scenes by emotional tone and tries to smooth them together. Not sure if that helps, as everyone works differently, but I thought I'd say it.
Also, if you have a story with plot and porn, but the porn is only in certain chapters, then those who only want the porn will fave only those chapters. There will always be people like that. So, if all you care about is tons of favs, then go with 95% porn. If you care about making good stories, stick with what you're doing ;)
But I'm still contemplating it so nothing is set in stone.
Also I'm on your trade list? I didn't know that you were still gonna make me something ^^
But you're next, if you give me info \\|//
Black kangaroo, white spot above my left eye, the tips of my ears are white, i have white bands of fur around my wrists, ankles, and neck (like cuffs and a collar) And my eyes are purple :3
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/2318922/
and you're welcome for the critique. i write too. english always was a favorite subject of mine. *raises fist and makes a mock-angry face* die evil math, die! :3~ but I've never really tried my hand at writing porn. people here tend to be pretty harsh critics. anyways. I just thought I'd tell you what I was thinking. I like you're writing alot and there is definitely some potential for even greater material just around the corner. I just wanted to show you my support and hope that the little things (cause in the big scheme of things, they really are pretty small) I pointed out would help you to become an even better author. :) *hugs*
As for the things I was trying to say; you CAN mix sex and plot but generally it can't be done haphazardly. It's something you have to finesse till it's just right. What I was suggesting was to keep writing with your plots and background to characters; adding depth and building a tangible world around them that can eventually lead down the road to really sweet scenes of love making or raunchy butt sex. BUT not to lose your fanbase that like your "quickies." Ya know? Maybe write a series of stories that have a mild plot that ties everything together but make it clear that it is all about getting it on in that particular series.
*giggles a little* you know, I generally get referred to at work as "The Professor" or "Jeeves" because I carry around a lot of what I call useless knowledge. If I don't know something, I teach myself. I've always been like that. :P So, if you ever need someone to proof read or make recommendations from a different point of view, please don't hesitate to ask. I'd love to help. :3 (if so, my aim and msn are both Borufu) *hugs tight*
When can you start?
Generally when i read 10 or more pages of actual story i appreciate the 'active' ending more, because i know howit happened or wh it happens.
Of course there are also times when i get a little impatient and want to get straight to the action... both types of story have their place for me.
Also, bear in mind that some people will fav. your work that gets them to watch you but after that they will not fav. anything at all... i'm a little guilty of this to be honest, there are tonnes of great pieces from authors and other artists that i simply don't fav., recently i've started fav.ing more often but in general i just forget! (too wrapped up with the story perhaps :])
Id say write your plot in and base your popularity off of views rather than fav.s :)
saturday: 13.4 views per day
A beginning to an end: 8.9 views per day
Sleep over: 9.3 views per day
Sunday: 24.6 views per day
Now i realise that this isnt entirely accurate and nor is it a particularly good measure of the number of people, because as time goes along less and less people will read each one, but it might give you a slight idea: i think that its a pretty good trend :), especially form "tradewinds" to "a beginning" to "sleep over".
-hugs you tight- Thank you so much! This has helped me out a lot!
Oh and also your icon adds a whole new level to you comment :3
Then again, I'm old.
LOL
was it penthouse?
But, I think, it was also known as Forum Magazine and Penthouse Forum, since it was owned and affiliated with Penthouse.
I was wondering though, more related to the question you posed, what your thoughts on the topic are. I plan on submitting quit a bit of plotty pr0nz, and it has more to do with what kind of picture I want to paint in writ than it does how many page views I can leech out of a bunch of primarily horny, trying to find themselves out, self righteous, elitist, party animal, college kids. So, have you read storys with less pr0n / more plot, or equal amounts of pr0n and plot, or more pr0n than plot, or no pr0n all plot / no plot all pr0n? Which do you like the most? What would you personally strive for that would make you proud (outside of how many page views you get)?
Then again, the clue to be learned here may just be simply, if you're looking to leech as many page views as you can get out of the fandom that uses the site here... Anyone with more than 2 brain cells knows what they need to do.
Hope you figure it out.
"So, have you read stories with less pr0n / more plot, or equal amounts of pr0n and plot, or more pr0n than plot, or no pr0n all plot / no plot all pr0n?
" I like plot with porn. See before i found the fandom, i was never an avid reader... (I avoided it like the plague in fact) But then one day i was on Nudog's web site, and i wondered over to his links section, and started to check it out. In there was a link to an artist called teiran
Thats when i found his beautiful story high school days, and i started to read it, and read it, and read it, and before i knew it i had read more of his book then i ever had in another. I never knew how much power the written word had before his stories. They made me laugh, cry, angry...and really randy XD. But i didn't read it for the porn. There were even times i skipped it just to see what happened next. I drive a lot of my writing style from his work. Now it has changed considerably from when I started a year ago.
Which do you like the most?
just a good mix of the two... but if the plot is so terrible that it makes me want to vomit i just stop reading. That plot is what makes the porn for me. with out it it's just sex, and i can get that online as much as i want with my freinds.
What would you personally strive for that would make you proud (outside of how many page views you get)?
To have some of my work published (I know it's a long, long, long way away from that.. but hey it's only been a year, and i'm still kind of a newbie)
I like a good mix of them both too. Like I initially said... "I for one love pr0n with actually creative and attention holding plot."
I guess now I'm not jus one. An to be honest, that's a good feeling, round these parts.
hey i don't know if you know but i had to change accounts
Doin it now.