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Wolf
11 years ago
General
Aug, 17 2014 Sunday
This is the first journal entry and in time throughout my entries you will start to get a grasp of the man behind the wolf. My hopes for this is that it will prove to be somewhat therapeutic. Only time will tell.
Let's start off by why I became a wolf, that right there is actually false. I didn't choose to become the wolf, he chose me. In youth when the only heroes you have to look up to are on your television or in stories, who can you turn to? When the only family you've ever know is the reason you are afraid and you don't make friends, it's a pain that no one should have to bare. I was the middle cub of this family that adopted me. Taking me into their home, i never knew i could feel so alone. Daily beatings by a drug addict father, verbally abusive mother, a younger spoiled sister, and the eldest was hardly ever around. He was the smart one. They call me a genius, but if that were true and they only knew so little, then the true is that i am boundless.
I sought a protector but my cries fell upon deaf ears. Until one fateful day when something snapped. I felt an deep burning instinct that compelled me to do astonishing and dreadful things. Mind you i was still only a child. I took on grown ups, full grown adults whose strength should have dwarfed mine. I was meek, frail, and sickly. What on earth could give this small boy such fierce strength. I had no idea at the time. Not til i was much older.
On the eve of the autumn solstice i was questioned for something that occurred at a camp i and thirty to forty others remained for the week, i was going to speak but before i could utter a single word i heard another adult say "He couldn't have done it, he's a lone wolf." I walked on my less than merry way. Being alone i realized it was a lonely road. I had strength but nothing to do with it. That is until someone crossed me.
An example was when i attended school during my 12th year. resting my head before a class i cared little about. I knew i was going to flunk, so it didn't really matter if i was late or not. Something struck me, it hurt a lot, a small metal toy hit me right on the forehead. I didn't even yelp in pain. I remember feeling nothing but rage sheer unbridled rage. I stood and picked it up and shouted loud enough to echo through the entire cafeteria and most of the school. (pretty impressive for the silent kid.) "Who threw that?" i bellowed. The entire room fell so silent it was nearly deafening. "Who the FUCK THREW THAT?!" I shouted again. A teacher hearing what i was saying thought it was better to take me down to the principles office. He grabbed my left arm. I hadn't even glanced at him, still i could tell he was roughly 290 lbs 5"10. I weighed less than half of him and only came to up to his sternum in height. I launched him backwards with the very arm he grabbed. He slid a good 13 feet on the linoleum floor. I continued hunting for the prey who thought it would be amusing to wake the sleeping wolf. Two more teachers tried grabbing me by the arms, evidently the students aren't the slow learners. I repeated my words as i dragged a good 600 + lbs around with me. I hadn't even slowed down. It wasn't until a third teacher came to grab me by the waist did i turn my attention to them. I whipped the one on my right arm, same as the first, she slid on her back a shorter distance. I did it again to the man on the right, same guy as before, whom slid further than the lady. If not so irate i would have found teacher bowling to be a fun sport. Finally when i turned my attention to the last teacher around my waist i was strung out, grabbed by each of my limbs and haled off to the principles office. Had they not finally taken me down, if my attention were turned on them sooner it would have gotten fairly bloody.
Even in spite of that tremendous power that i wield. I am not heartless. I have been called such words and they still resonate in me to this day. I have honor, integrity, and much virtue. Even in this horrendous world that would justify actions that they themselves place into law to abstain against. Who you may ask, i reply onto you "The government." This world is born of insanity. I who questioned my own have actually proven to be in the tier of the troublingly sane.
During my later years of school i gained my first true friends. I treated them as though they were my own flesh and blood. We had a small pack, but we for the most part stuck together. If i were to guess my place in the pack, i would say that i chose to be the omega. The last, slowest (mentally) but truth be told i could have shot for alpha if i had the motivation. I don't like bragging about talent or skill, it gets you know where. All i like to do is explain how i earned my scars and how past experiences occurred.
I feel like the pack i had shrank slowly but surely. We are but 4 members now instead of the 11 we once were. In the past i would have blamed myself, but now i blame foolishness on some, while others i congratulate for creating families that are actually sticking together. But there is one who is a traitor. If he'd been half the wolf i am, he would have been able to speak the words he had to my face instead of over the internet. I would have had some choice words for him. But those words come not from the wolf, they come from the dragon, his thu'um would tear him asunder! Flesh seared under the spark, bone scorched under the flame, and mind shattered under the message. That is what would never heal. Though i could crush him physically, it would be more amusing to watch him crush himself. So here i remain, for i know who my real friends are. Almaren, Jynx101, and rawr_the_monkey. They are my friends, they are my family. Should anyone have a wish to court death, i urge you to make a move. I will be on the hunt for you.
This is the first journal entry and in time throughout my entries you will start to get a grasp of the man behind the wolf. My hopes for this is that it will prove to be somewhat therapeutic. Only time will tell.
Let's start off by why I became a wolf, that right there is actually false. I didn't choose to become the wolf, he chose me. In youth when the only heroes you have to look up to are on your television or in stories, who can you turn to? When the only family you've ever know is the reason you are afraid and you don't make friends, it's a pain that no one should have to bare. I was the middle cub of this family that adopted me. Taking me into their home, i never knew i could feel so alone. Daily beatings by a drug addict father, verbally abusive mother, a younger spoiled sister, and the eldest was hardly ever around. He was the smart one. They call me a genius, but if that were true and they only knew so little, then the true is that i am boundless.
I sought a protector but my cries fell upon deaf ears. Until one fateful day when something snapped. I felt an deep burning instinct that compelled me to do astonishing and dreadful things. Mind you i was still only a child. I took on grown ups, full grown adults whose strength should have dwarfed mine. I was meek, frail, and sickly. What on earth could give this small boy such fierce strength. I had no idea at the time. Not til i was much older.
On the eve of the autumn solstice i was questioned for something that occurred at a camp i and thirty to forty others remained for the week, i was going to speak but before i could utter a single word i heard another adult say "He couldn't have done it, he's a lone wolf." I walked on my less than merry way. Being alone i realized it was a lonely road. I had strength but nothing to do with it. That is until someone crossed me.
An example was when i attended school during my 12th year. resting my head before a class i cared little about. I knew i was going to flunk, so it didn't really matter if i was late or not. Something struck me, it hurt a lot, a small metal toy hit me right on the forehead. I didn't even yelp in pain. I remember feeling nothing but rage sheer unbridled rage. I stood and picked it up and shouted loud enough to echo through the entire cafeteria and most of the school. (pretty impressive for the silent kid.) "Who threw that?" i bellowed. The entire room fell so silent it was nearly deafening. "Who the FUCK THREW THAT?!" I shouted again. A teacher hearing what i was saying thought it was better to take me down to the principles office. He grabbed my left arm. I hadn't even glanced at him, still i could tell he was roughly 290 lbs 5"10. I weighed less than half of him and only came to up to his sternum in height. I launched him backwards with the very arm he grabbed. He slid a good 13 feet on the linoleum floor. I continued hunting for the prey who thought it would be amusing to wake the sleeping wolf. Two more teachers tried grabbing me by the arms, evidently the students aren't the slow learners. I repeated my words as i dragged a good 600 + lbs around with me. I hadn't even slowed down. It wasn't until a third teacher came to grab me by the waist did i turn my attention to them. I whipped the one on my right arm, same as the first, she slid on her back a shorter distance. I did it again to the man on the right, same guy as before, whom slid further than the lady. If not so irate i would have found teacher bowling to be a fun sport. Finally when i turned my attention to the last teacher around my waist i was strung out, grabbed by each of my limbs and haled off to the principles office. Had they not finally taken me down, if my attention were turned on them sooner it would have gotten fairly bloody.
Even in spite of that tremendous power that i wield. I am not heartless. I have been called such words and they still resonate in me to this day. I have honor, integrity, and much virtue. Even in this horrendous world that would justify actions that they themselves place into law to abstain against. Who you may ask, i reply onto you "The government." This world is born of insanity. I who questioned my own have actually proven to be in the tier of the troublingly sane.
During my later years of school i gained my first true friends. I treated them as though they were my own flesh and blood. We had a small pack, but we for the most part stuck together. If i were to guess my place in the pack, i would say that i chose to be the omega. The last, slowest (mentally) but truth be told i could have shot for alpha if i had the motivation. I don't like bragging about talent or skill, it gets you know where. All i like to do is explain how i earned my scars and how past experiences occurred.
I feel like the pack i had shrank slowly but surely. We are but 4 members now instead of the 11 we once were. In the past i would have blamed myself, but now i blame foolishness on some, while others i congratulate for creating families that are actually sticking together. But there is one who is a traitor. If he'd been half the wolf i am, he would have been able to speak the words he had to my face instead of over the internet. I would have had some choice words for him. But those words come not from the wolf, they come from the dragon, his thu'um would tear him asunder! Flesh seared under the spark, bone scorched under the flame, and mind shattered under the message. That is what would never heal. Though i could crush him physically, it would be more amusing to watch him crush himself. So here i remain, for i know who my real friends are. Almaren, Jynx101, and rawr_the_monkey. They are my friends, they are my family. Should anyone have a wish to court death, i urge you to make a move. I will be on the hunt for you.
