Gonna start off with the apology, cause, that's the main reason I'm making this journal.

I'm super sorry for not being really active here for a while now. I've just kinda lost interest, at least a little bit anyways? I haven't lost interest in drawing or anything, no, nothing like that. I just, haven't been interested in being on this account much. I finally found my niche in the community on a different account, and, well, I like it there. I feel accepted, and I've made some pretty awesome friends over on that side of things. However, I do not currently intend to share said account, because I know how other furries are in regards to that part of the community. If you're a friend and are still curious, then you may send me a note, so long as you promise not to be too judgmental about it.

I've also kinda realized a lot about myself lately. Besides me finding my niche in the community, I've just learned a lot about myself as a person, and, well... I think I'm ready to come out, at least here where I feel safe.

If anyone saw my most recent submission, they may have seen that I stated I would possibly be replacing Harper with Jaykob, and there is a huge reason for that. That reason being that I've finally realized that, well... I'm male. Maybe not physically, but, yes, I am in fact a guy. I've struggled with my gender a LOT over the years, and for quite a while I just called myself genderfluid. Because I was in that questioning stage where I wasn't really sure what I was. It's been in the past few months though that the questioning has finally led me into feeling quite a bit of dysphoria in regards to my body. There was a few days where I had some pretty severe mental breakdowns over it, the worst of them being on mine and my boyfriend's anniversary. Thankfully, my boyfriend has been super supportive, and he even is lending me some of his clothes so that I can feel even just that little bit more comfortable while I work through things.

In regards to my status, I have yet to come out to my family. While I hope that they'd be pretty accepting, I am still quite scared about it all. If you're someone who speaks me to through tumblr on occasion, please refrain from calling me by male pronouns on there, as some of my family also uses tumblr and follows me there... Same goes for talking to me on deviantART. Other than those two places though, please use male pronouns for me, and if you could... Please call me Jaimie. I struggled a lot deciding on a name for myself, and I did almost decide on Jaykob, but, I feel more of a connection with the name Jaimie, so... I am Jaimie.

I think that's about it for now. I'll... I'll try to be more active here from now on if I can. Commissions are still open as always, and you can either send me a note or send an e-mail to ellisanderia.art[at]gmail.com if you're interested in commissioning me.

~ Jaimie