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Growing up a bit .-.
13 years ago
General
Its my Journal...
I think I’m growing up :3
So I’ve just been suddenly hit in the face with so many different things at once, I think I’ve finally come to another sudden realization that some people in this world are just doing what they can to hurt me. From not letting me hang out with certain people, to telling me false info and lies about others just to get me to stop talking to them the list goes on. Though now, I finally realized that, “Huh, if these people were so bad then why are they still talking to them on amazing friendship status terms?” Just now did it smack me in the face that, “Huh, I’m sure the people that I put a lot of my trust into were and still are completely full of shit. Just indefinitely full of shit.” So now I’m on bad terms with some of these people because of believe what my ‘friends’ who I’ve known forever told me about them. Though I believed them because I thought they were just trying to help me out. Though I can’t be mad at them, they probably had some form of motive to try and ruin my relationships with these people they were just upset.
I used to be worried about what people say about the things I’m into or about what I do. Though now I realize that the fact that I’m into macro and paw art isn’t nearly as bad as some other things and if you don’t want to be friends with me because of that one trait or make it your goal in life to completely ignore everything about me then sure deal that’s on you.
There are also people who are upset with me over videogames. DUDE IT’S A VIDEOGAME :C how could you possibly be on exile terms with someone over a stupid game? Did I accidently strike your ego SO HARD that it’s the end of our friendship? Did someone on my friends list beat you or say something to you to be like “Eh! I cant hang out with you anymore you hang out with x person BLOCK DELETE” Jesus... I finally realize that I don’t, should not, and will not have time for these people.
At FWA I met and talked with a lot of the friends I’ve made from online in the furry community and some I even talked so that was amazing, There was some personal stuff that arose during the con but I did my best to stay happy and chipper though someone who I’ve known brought me almost to tears when they said it was a “Disappointment meeting me” because I didn’t spend enough time with him at the con. Also because I was drunk all the time or close to it. My bad dude, sorry that I spent pretty much all of Saturday afternoon, and went to lunch with you at the mall that day. I am sorry that I made time to do this with you, completely sober, just for you. I guess that wasn’t enough.
The part where I’m growing up is realizing that I need to make my own decisions, not ones based off of what other people tell me, if someone’s horrible I need to forget people who get mad at me over pointless things. I need to not apologize for how things go at a con if I did nothing wrong, especially my first one ever. I need to stop being worried about people that don’t agree with what I’m into or being a ‘typical furry’ if that also includes me being in school for nursing and trying to help and hang out with people then yes I’m a ‘typical furry’. Lol I’m not even mad at the people I was told to be mad at anymore, I’m just upset that I ever listened to what my ‘friends’ had to say about them. I’m so pissed at myself for being stupid enough to listen to them. Those shady bitches.
So yes, I think I’m growing up, learning some of the warning signs of what I should or shouldn’t be worried about. And being able to defend myself against people trying to make me feel horrible for illegitimate reason.
I am glad I have met everyone I’ve even run into still. Even the people who may still dislike or even hate me because of things that have happened between us in the past. To those people, I’m sorry I have wronged you in one way or another but from this point forward I’m going to take better responsibility for my actions and interactions with others.
Comments below are always welcome.
So I’ve just been suddenly hit in the face with so many different things at once, I think I’ve finally come to another sudden realization that some people in this world are just doing what they can to hurt me. From not letting me hang out with certain people, to telling me false info and lies about others just to get me to stop talking to them the list goes on. Though now, I finally realized that, “Huh, if these people were so bad then why are they still talking to them on amazing friendship status terms?” Just now did it smack me in the face that, “Huh, I’m sure the people that I put a lot of my trust into were and still are completely full of shit. Just indefinitely full of shit.” So now I’m on bad terms with some of these people because of believe what my ‘friends’ who I’ve known forever told me about them. Though I believed them because I thought they were just trying to help me out. Though I can’t be mad at them, they probably had some form of motive to try and ruin my relationships with these people they were just upset.
I used to be worried about what people say about the things I’m into or about what I do. Though now I realize that the fact that I’m into macro and paw art isn’t nearly as bad as some other things and if you don’t want to be friends with me because of that one trait or make it your goal in life to completely ignore everything about me then sure deal that’s on you.
There are also people who are upset with me over videogames. DUDE IT’S A VIDEOGAME :C how could you possibly be on exile terms with someone over a stupid game? Did I accidently strike your ego SO HARD that it’s the end of our friendship? Did someone on my friends list beat you or say something to you to be like “Eh! I cant hang out with you anymore you hang out with x person BLOCK DELETE” Jesus... I finally realize that I don’t, should not, and will not have time for these people.
At FWA I met and talked with a lot of the friends I’ve made from online in the furry community and some I even talked so that was amazing, There was some personal stuff that arose during the con but I did my best to stay happy and chipper though someone who I’ve known brought me almost to tears when they said it was a “Disappointment meeting me” because I didn’t spend enough time with him at the con. Also because I was drunk all the time or close to it. My bad dude, sorry that I spent pretty much all of Saturday afternoon, and went to lunch with you at the mall that day. I am sorry that I made time to do this with you, completely sober, just for you. I guess that wasn’t enough.
The part where I’m growing up is realizing that I need to make my own decisions, not ones based off of what other people tell me, if someone’s horrible I need to forget people who get mad at me over pointless things. I need to not apologize for how things go at a con if I did nothing wrong, especially my first one ever. I need to stop being worried about people that don’t agree with what I’m into or being a ‘typical furry’ if that also includes me being in school for nursing and trying to help and hang out with people then yes I’m a ‘typical furry’. Lol I’m not even mad at the people I was told to be mad at anymore, I’m just upset that I ever listened to what my ‘friends’ had to say about them. I’m so pissed at myself for being stupid enough to listen to them. Those shady bitches.
So yes, I think I’m growing up, learning some of the warning signs of what I should or shouldn’t be worried about. And being able to defend myself against people trying to make me feel horrible for illegitimate reason.
I am glad I have met everyone I’ve even run into still. Even the people who may still dislike or even hate me because of things that have happened between us in the past. To those people, I’m sorry I have wronged you in one way or another but from this point forward I’m going to take better responsibility for my actions and interactions with others.
Comments below are always welcome.
then i smile
because then i remember all the other ones
these memories make me feel really good
because gurls 4 eva <3
I'm also sorry we don't talk much as well.
I know where you're cming from with all this, and it does happen when you becomw too accepting towards others due to someone else's opinion of them (hoping they are as great as they say they are).
Welcome to reality. A cold reality if you will.
Keep on keepin' on, bro!
I understand why that one 'friend' had a not so great meet up. I've been in contact and finally met one famous illustrator and they were awesome... Sober. Something happened that they didn't want to talk about but it caused them to fall into alcoholism, their personality changed, and their illustration work went down the toilet. It would be a shame to finally meet you while if I were sober and you were not, I want to know the wiser side of you, the sober you, before the party side of you.
Can you understand that view point now?
I mean that inebriation doesn't help when you're wanting to talk on deep matters because one of the two people Can Not take it seriously. You're in nursing, so you know the excititory factors and junk.
First impressions and all that jazz...
Still.. it seems you are in need of a very successful, very friendly, very responsible fur to drink with? I suggest : huskyryeicon: and :pachua: . And you are very likely to see them at AC, FWA, MFF, and perty much anywhere OkiDoki Cyote goes... I don't know how they do it.
Take care! Study hard! Don't take easy teachers for granted, because you may find they expect homework like you've been self-teaching: a mountain of homework.
Take care and God bless!