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Alteration
13 years ago
General
My goodness, I can never keep up with these things. 10 months time is truly a waste of observational information. But it is clear to say that in this short time I have indeed grown in my mental prowess.
That is what I would like to say, but I cannot say for sure. It could simply be an attitude adjustment which altered how I experience the same stimuli. But it is indeed an improvement. My mind, body, and spirit have come together once again after becoming distorted through my illness. With my classes, training, and work bringing me so much information, I began to grow as a person. It seems I wasn't resilient enough to handle the reality of things at first. But as I became accustomed to the world, to living in itself, I began to come under control. In fact I became hungry. My mind craved information with a terrible hunger. I wanted mastery over the things that pertained to my preservation. I learned new things, and learned more on the things I already knew. I quickly became used to processing information, and now I feel like a sponge absorbing all I can. I try to remain practical in my actions and pursuits, but I seem to needlessly complicate things at times.
How amazing that one can change so much within a year. I hadn't seem like such a short time, but it only leaves me in anticipation for what's to come in the future. I chase an old tale of mystics and masters who reached a higher plane of consciousness. They were able to find a peace in themselves and even help others do the same. Like how the shamans would heal the people of their tribes through the ethereal. Such ideas and practices are outdated and folie in this day and age (at least in this region of the world). But their fundamental intentions and ideals are still salvageable and applicable in everyday life. I have read much mention of psychosis in conjunction with shamanism, and there is much observation to support a correlation. But I tend not to dwell on the psychedelic too much, in fear of exciting old thoughts.
It is safe to say, however, that I am improving in all aspects of my life. All except for the aspect of love. This one thing continues to elude my experience, and I find it annoying at times. Such an experience seems quite pleasurable. I've seemed to replaced the urge with other things as of late sadly. But I am fine, and I can wait until I find a comforting equal. Until then I continue to learn.
That is what I would like to say, but I cannot say for sure. It could simply be an attitude adjustment which altered how I experience the same stimuli. But it is indeed an improvement. My mind, body, and spirit have come together once again after becoming distorted through my illness. With my classes, training, and work bringing me so much information, I began to grow as a person. It seems I wasn't resilient enough to handle the reality of things at first. But as I became accustomed to the world, to living in itself, I began to come under control. In fact I became hungry. My mind craved information with a terrible hunger. I wanted mastery over the things that pertained to my preservation. I learned new things, and learned more on the things I already knew. I quickly became used to processing information, and now I feel like a sponge absorbing all I can. I try to remain practical in my actions and pursuits, but I seem to needlessly complicate things at times.
How amazing that one can change so much within a year. I hadn't seem like such a short time, but it only leaves me in anticipation for what's to come in the future. I chase an old tale of mystics and masters who reached a higher plane of consciousness. They were able to find a peace in themselves and even help others do the same. Like how the shamans would heal the people of their tribes through the ethereal. Such ideas and practices are outdated and folie in this day and age (at least in this region of the world). But their fundamental intentions and ideals are still salvageable and applicable in everyday life. I have read much mention of psychosis in conjunction with shamanism, and there is much observation to support a correlation. But I tend not to dwell on the psychedelic too much, in fear of exciting old thoughts.
It is safe to say, however, that I am improving in all aspects of my life. All except for the aspect of love. This one thing continues to elude my experience, and I find it annoying at times. Such an experience seems quite pleasurable. I've seemed to replaced the urge with other things as of late sadly. But I am fine, and I can wait until I find a comforting equal. Until then I continue to learn.
