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Ha ha. Boobs.
18 years ago
General
I found this on one of the -chans awhile back and thought I would share it with you all. Not sure where it originates from, save for the murky depths of one of those boards, but it made me giggle.
I must confess.
I've been most distressed
About my chest.
Until I get answers I cannot rest,
So I'll do my best
To explain my request.
My chest gets all sorts of attention
Which fills my heart with apprehension,
And I shouldn't have to mention
That my incomprehension
Is the root cause of this tension!
They say they're the best,
And they say I've been blessed,
But I can't help but protest.
What the HELL are these things on my chest?
This is a question that MUST be addressed!
I just don't know what to make of these.
Are they some sort of cancer? Some terrible disease?
They're big and soft and easy to squeeze,
But with these tumorous lumps, I have no expertise.
You have to tell me, tell me please!
Mine are somewhat big, like two softballs,
But I didn't have them as a kid, as far as I recall.
Some come really big and some come really small,
But the boys tell me they'll cum to any size at all.
They just won't stop staring,
And their girlfriends, uncaring,
Are glaring at what I'm wearing!
They call it daring
To have clothes so sparing!
(but... it covers the right spots, right?)
These breast-things are more than I can take!
When I run, they shake
And make my back ache,
And sometimes I think it must all be a mistake,
That maybe they'll be gone when I wake.
I hope that's true, for my sake!
But actually, sometimes they can be kind of nice.
When I go shopping, and ask about price,
Sometimes they say my boobs will suffice!
I show them to him, and my boobs buy the rice!
But only for male clerks (for women, no dice.)
So maybe when I said I hate them, I lied.
I need more experimentation to decide
What their drawbacks are, as well as upsides.
The benefits they provide to women worldwide
Can't be denied. And they make me feel good inside!
These two simple lumps fill me with pride
As I stride with my two boobs alongside!
Hooray for breasts! Hooray for these things on my chest!
They shouldn't be compressed, but undressed!
Expressed and assessed and never repressed!
Our guests, if impressed, are free to molest
If they're that obsessed. I should have guessed
That's all I needed to put them to the test.
I must confess.
I've been most distressed
About my chest.
Until I get answers I cannot rest,
So I'll do my best
To explain my request.
My chest gets all sorts of attention
Which fills my heart with apprehension,
And I shouldn't have to mention
That my incomprehension
Is the root cause of this tension!
They say they're the best,
And they say I've been blessed,
But I can't help but protest.
What the HELL are these things on my chest?
This is a question that MUST be addressed!
I just don't know what to make of these.
Are they some sort of cancer? Some terrible disease?
They're big and soft and easy to squeeze,
But with these tumorous lumps, I have no expertise.
You have to tell me, tell me please!
Mine are somewhat big, like two softballs,
But I didn't have them as a kid, as far as I recall.
Some come really big and some come really small,
But the boys tell me they'll cum to any size at all.
They just won't stop staring,
And their girlfriends, uncaring,
Are glaring at what I'm wearing!
They call it daring
To have clothes so sparing!
(but... it covers the right spots, right?)
These breast-things are more than I can take!
When I run, they shake
And make my back ache,
And sometimes I think it must all be a mistake,
That maybe they'll be gone when I wake.
I hope that's true, for my sake!
But actually, sometimes they can be kind of nice.
When I go shopping, and ask about price,
Sometimes they say my boobs will suffice!
I show them to him, and my boobs buy the rice!
But only for male clerks (for women, no dice.)
So maybe when I said I hate them, I lied.
I need more experimentation to decide
What their drawbacks are, as well as upsides.
The benefits they provide to women worldwide
Can't be denied. And they make me feel good inside!
These two simple lumps fill me with pride
As I stride with my two boobs alongside!
Hooray for breasts! Hooray for these things on my chest!
They shouldn't be compressed, but undressed!
Expressed and assessed and never repressed!
Our guests, if impressed, are free to molest
If they're that obsessed. I should have guessed
That's all I needed to put them to the test.
Yay boobs!