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Tired... (Vent Journal/Language Warning)
14 years ago
General
You have entered Da Blitz Arena... :D just so sick and damn tired of helping other people, either they screw you in the most fucked up ways or they are too stubborn to listen for their own good.
Naturally, I love helping others, but that feeling and want is constantly taken a hit almost every damn time I try to help someone. My own family couldn't give a damn what I do for them. They will just keep asking for more not giving it a second thought to saying thank you and meaning it from whatever heart they have nor to bother w/ what I want/need.
I also hate when you become someone's friend, they feel down in the dumps & you encourage them the best way you can. They don't listen, get mad for no reason, and start blaming you for their problems. I seriously had someone on Twitter I've been helping for over 2 months w/ their problems(emotionally, constantly thinking about suicide) say that I ruined their lives. What the fuck kind of bullshit is that?! This person still came to me after saying this and it became clear to me a few days ago, this person ain't worth it. Said I'm always there for them but still want to tell me 'fuck off'? FUCK YOU!! Now someone else is giving up their art when they have so much room for improvement... It just gets me so mad just can't take it.
I hate people, I love my imagination & worlds. I like staying secluded in my room. I hate my job where my pay gets docked by a Baby's whim. I hate how much torture I have to mentally put up w/ everyday. I would say I wish I could end it all, but giving up is not me and the farthest thing from my mind. I haven't completely GIVEN UP on people, but I've definitely run out of PATIENCE. I'd rather be alone than deal w/ another Baby, Crazy Case, Selfish Bitch, or Quitter. Just leave me alone dammit!!