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Declaration of No Implied Overtones nor Contract
15 years ago
General
Dad knows a lot about business and people. That's wonderful! Dad went to school for business and has had a lot of good and bad jobs. Yet again, wonderful!
But, his defining flaw is that his knowledge has turned him into a bitter, unmovable wall (That's coming from me, the INTJ, the group known for not having compassion or feelings!).
Instead of helping people, he's selfish and keeps the knowledge to himself. The only time it comes out is to show "how little I know" when I attempt to grow and further my social evolution by trying to get a job, getting good grades, making friends, etc.
I'm not asking for a book detailing everything he knows, but it doesn't breed good character nor family to act like this.
It's become less and less of knowing things and more and more of just being a pathetic game. My father and I both use the same logic to figure out problems, but he of course has "experience" so my opinion is "wrong"... even if we had the same one! Sometimes I'd laugh inside at how his face would be surprised by my right answer, yet make up a "correct" alternative and say mine was wrong.
When I was a child I didn't know any better and really just thought I was a failure; It was a tough and confusing time. But I've grown up, and following, I started to wonder what set of circumstances could exist that he would accept my opinion.
Computer programming is fun because when errors occur, you can use try and catch to handle exceptions. The computer will crash, yes, but it will tell you what it was expecting, so you can change what you send to it in order to satisfy. But how could I change my behavior so that dad would accept my input? What could I write in my catch statement to satisfy the machine?
I came to the conclusion that there simply was and is no set of behavior or action I could take that would make him listen to me. In fact, I'd be willing to bet quite a lot of money that he wouldn't listen to himself if there was a copy. It's an enormous waste of time; I am not interested in trying to impress a brick wall. I don't go outright to piss dad off, but I've long, long since stopped caring what he thinks of me.
I do not write this as a pity story, to start drama, or to play a "victim" card. Disconnect from my story the example, and use it.
The reason I say all of this is because one of my worst fears as an artist is for potential persons seeking artistic help, improvement, or knowledge from me are turned away from here because there is an overtone of my opinion being higher than yours due to my artistic skills, or I will "turn you down" because you don't already somehow know what I'm going to say. You couldn't be more wrong in thinking this.
I'm a huge supporter of open source software, and my approach to art is no different:
-If you have something to say, say it! If you have a question, ask! I'm here to spread my knowledge over to you and make you a better artist.
-You won't believe it, but I can benefit from your input, too.
-I don't care about your personal life, and I hope you don't care about mine.
-I don't care where you've come from, but only what you can be.
-I don't care what you use my help or knowledge to draw, as long as you draw it better.
-Do NOT give up before trying. Three years ago I was worse artist than you, but I tried and I got here. You can too.
-Just because I've spent so much time on this painting doesn't give me the right to shoot down your opinion for no reason. If you have something to say about it, a question, or a contribution, I will always respond positively to it, as long you were trying to be constructive.
-I'm not going to expect anything in return. Your enjoyment of the art and improvement alone is my reward.
-There is no "secret contract" that you're secretly signing when you receive my help. There are no royalties I demand if you make money off the skills I give you.
-I'm not going to hijack your computer, furaffinity account, friends, or anything else.
-I am a resource. Use me for your own stuff, then sell it or get popular! I couldn't care less.
That being said, I expect to disperse any feelings of previous overtones, and look forward to your contributions, questions, and helping you!
-pz
But, his defining flaw is that his knowledge has turned him into a bitter, unmovable wall (That's coming from me, the INTJ, the group known for not having compassion or feelings!).
Instead of helping people, he's selfish and keeps the knowledge to himself. The only time it comes out is to show "how little I know" when I attempt to grow and further my social evolution by trying to get a job, getting good grades, making friends, etc.
I'm not asking for a book detailing everything he knows, but it doesn't breed good character nor family to act like this.
It's become less and less of knowing things and more and more of just being a pathetic game. My father and I both use the same logic to figure out problems, but he of course has "experience" so my opinion is "wrong"... even if we had the same one! Sometimes I'd laugh inside at how his face would be surprised by my right answer, yet make up a "correct" alternative and say mine was wrong.
When I was a child I didn't know any better and really just thought I was a failure; It was a tough and confusing time. But I've grown up, and following, I started to wonder what set of circumstances could exist that he would accept my opinion.
Computer programming is fun because when errors occur, you can use try and catch to handle exceptions. The computer will crash, yes, but it will tell you what it was expecting, so you can change what you send to it in order to satisfy. But how could I change my behavior so that dad would accept my input? What could I write in my catch statement to satisfy the machine?
I came to the conclusion that there simply was and is no set of behavior or action I could take that would make him listen to me. In fact, I'd be willing to bet quite a lot of money that he wouldn't listen to himself if there was a copy. It's an enormous waste of time; I am not interested in trying to impress a brick wall. I don't go outright to piss dad off, but I've long, long since stopped caring what he thinks of me.
I do not write this as a pity story, to start drama, or to play a "victim" card. Disconnect from my story the example, and use it.
The reason I say all of this is because one of my worst fears as an artist is for potential persons seeking artistic help, improvement, or knowledge from me are turned away from here because there is an overtone of my opinion being higher than yours due to my artistic skills, or I will "turn you down" because you don't already somehow know what I'm going to say. You couldn't be more wrong in thinking this.
I'm a huge supporter of open source software, and my approach to art is no different:
-If you have something to say, say it! If you have a question, ask! I'm here to spread my knowledge over to you and make you a better artist.
-You won't believe it, but I can benefit from your input, too.
-I don't care about your personal life, and I hope you don't care about mine.
-I don't care where you've come from, but only what you can be.
-I don't care what you use my help or knowledge to draw, as long as you draw it better.
-Do NOT give up before trying. Three years ago I was worse artist than you, but I tried and I got here. You can too.
-Just because I've spent so much time on this painting doesn't give me the right to shoot down your opinion for no reason. If you have something to say about it, a question, or a contribution, I will always respond positively to it, as long you were trying to be constructive.
-I'm not going to expect anything in return. Your enjoyment of the art and improvement alone is my reward.
-There is no "secret contract" that you're secretly signing when you receive my help. There are no royalties I demand if you make money off the skills I give you.
-I'm not going to hijack your computer, furaffinity account, friends, or anything else.
-I am a resource. Use me for your own stuff, then sell it or get popular! I couldn't care less.
That being said, I expect to disperse any feelings of previous overtones, and look forward to your contributions, questions, and helping you!
-pz
