Update (I feel like I should tag this with a trigger warning -- KaijuCryptid's Journal -- Fur Affinity [dot] net

Update (I feel like I should tag this with a trigger warning

a month ago General

EDIT: Just adding a little context, and I really want to make sure people know I'm super not trying to guilt trip anyone, this is literally just me trying to be more open with my issues since I've always had a bad habit of hiding my problems from people. Money is not my issue at the moment, thanks to everyone who bought things and helped support me the last few months im finally at least somewhat stable financially and I'm so grateful to everyone. My biggest issue and what I worry about is the sheer volume of work I took on during that time because I needed the money, and now I'm almost overwhelmed with the amount of art I owe.(Totally my fault, I know) If you see me posting art and its not yours, I promise its not because I forgot about you or am ignoring your stuff, its because I have had so many other things that have been in backlog and I'm reeeaaally trying to do things in the order I got them in to minimize the already long wait time. /EDIT

Hey all.

This is just an update, I'm not asking for butt pats or to make anyone feel bad about anything, but as most of you know I've been unmedicated for months now and struggling with my mental health issues. This recently came to a head in the last few weeks and I've been literally struggling with suicide ideations and such severe depression I've almost ended up in the hospital more than once. I finally had an appointment today to get my meds back and start to finally get the help I need, so I have more appointments coming up and such.

Don't worry, I am still working on owed art as much as I can, I just....I'm so sorry its taking so long you guys. I know people say you shouldn't compare yourself to others but I hate myself for so many reasons and one of them is I'm so fucking slow working on art for people, even when I try my hardest its never good enough or fast enough and I feel so fucking terrible you all have had to wait for so damn long on my ass.

I'm just, I'm really sorry and please bear with me. I'm trying.

13 Comments

Levyhemoth ~metalsaur

Andrewsarchus Enthusiast

a month ago

*Hug.
Hey it's ok : ) you're doing your best and I'm sorry you've been going through hell. You're at your best when you feel your best. Life is a marathon not a race. I sent a note earlier but in case you see this before my response it's ok. Your feelings are valid but not for hating yourself. You have so many people who have supported you for you, regardless of commissions. Be the best that you can be for your own self and others will know that you're happy both mentally and emotionally. : )

KaijuCryptid ~kaijucryptid

Friendly Neighborhood Kaiju

a month ago

*hugs* Thanks I really appreciate hearing that. And I am really working hard to getting back to good again now. <3

Bantambold

A blue bubble with ripples and a white pawprint in the center

~bantamcrow

the tiny terror

a month ago

If I wasn't eating instant ramen and white rice to survive right now, I'd send you whatever I could v.v

KaijuCryptid ~kaijucryptid

Friendly Neighborhood Kaiju

a month ago

Aww i appreciate the thought but amazingly im decently okay with money at the moment. Like im financially surviving, its just been the anxiety and being overwhelmed by a lot of things and yanno, brains being ridiculous like they do so I'm just constantly fighting the sads. But yeah thankfully I'm finally back on the meds now and that should help a bit. But again thank you <3

Bantambold

~bantamcrow

the tiny terror

a month ago

*Tiny bird hugs.*

Sabletooth ~yeno

Does not come in Technicolor

a month ago

Hey, please take care of yourself first. I know I'm probably one of those looming 'threats' considering, but I'd much rather have you be slower and make sure you're okay both mentally and physically, than trying to rush yourself and ending up hurting yourself or worse.
I appreciate that you're openly communicating about it, though, so thank you for that.

Karth ~totalkarthage

Floof durg

a month ago

Sending hugs!

AshBringer ~marsua

Child of Choas

a month ago

Hi, long time watcher, Lil bit of a lurker, love your work... as someone who struggled with mental health issues for over 20 years un-medicated... im glad you are getting help. The right med can be life changing. The fight isn't always easy, but remember that tomorrow is a new day. Will it be better? No idea, but it's a blank slate.

PHenic ~phenic

a month ago

It takes a lot to be open with others about those struggles. I often can't even be open with myself at them. I feel like most people that have felt that way before understand this post and agree with it. More over I imagine are like myself; okay and understanding that this takes time. Your doing your best. That's valid and that's enough. It often doesn't feel that way but normally our own brains often are at best, our biggest critics and at the worst, our personal nemesis. So with that said, take your time, and live your life. Exist and feel alive, whatever that means to you as an individual. Take care of yourself, whatever that takes. That's what most people want other people to do at the end of the day.

DreKozar ~drekozar

Writer

a month ago

Sending many hugs! :) I'm always around to talk in some fashion if ya ever need an ear. Glad you have the appointment; just trying to get stuff scheduled can be a big pain sometimes. Anyone that's been following ya knows you're trying super-hard, and I know we all appreciate it very much, but don't stress yourself out over it, either. It's art; we can wait.

Aurasonic ~aurasonic12

Aura

a month ago

Take your time. Life happens I think we all understand you went through a rough patch

ryuubiRaze ~ryuubiraze

Art Whore

a month ago

Mental health can be a very tough thing to regulate and im sorry your having such a difficult time. As a unmedicated person with mental himderenfes I understand its easy to feel overwhelmed. You're not alone and you're seen. I applaud your effort to stick to your guns through this and thank you for being so transparent. I hope your stresses ease up on you and you get yourself sorted out so these ideations dont affect you as much if not anymore all together. You are stronger than your worst day. Pace yourself and take time for yourself as well. You are very talented and you are better than you give yourself credit for. Best wishes! Keep that chin up and just keep on keeping on. This too shall pass.

FeliFormFactor ~devildart

Digital Artist

a month ago

Take your time and take care of yourself~

hopefully you've been able to relax at least little bit i know how difficult it is to get by without meds esp after being on them

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