I doubt anyone will see this personally but I want to say thank you. I have been mad at a few people online and offline for so long and it hurts me to say this but I think they were right. I had no reason to hate these people they were only trying to help me understand myself more than I could without them, but instead I lashed out and thought they were talking behind my back and calling me out for my flaws, but they were only trying to help others by warning them of my tendencies and bad nature. I don't think that they hated me, I think they hated how I was acting and treating others, like I was pushing those who I clang on desperate for approval, desperate to be seen without looking at what I was doing, without seeing my own crooked reflection.

This isn't a begging for forgiveness from those people and begging them to stop doing what they are doing, I encourage it, I am working on myself despite my flaws and have come a long way since those yesteryears, but I am no where near acceptable. I understand the times they reached out to tell at me was just them begging me to stop and change my ways and be a better person. I have been a fool for spending so long to realize that fact, I have been more of a fool for seeing that fact and calling it delusional and pretending that I myself am better than others yet not perfect when I was further from the line than I thought. So far away from the line in fact it would be better to say in those years I was actively running away from the line and digging myself in a hole searching for self enrichment off of hurting others with my search of approval despite the fact I was owed none.

To those who think highly of me, I hope I prove it is worth it, I am working on myself every day and every night until I get to a point I am proud of. To those who don't know me, feel free to get to know me and understand me while I work on myself and try and find guidance with my struggles.

And to those who hate me, I understand, my flaws weighed down on your and you cut me off because I was hurting you, I want you all to know I am sorry, I am trying to grow and become less of a drag on people and their moods and their minds. I just want to say thank you for helping me see that even if it costed our friendship I hope I find some way to repay you in kind in one way or another even if it is by keeping my distance.

Thank you and sorry, they seem so shallow but mean so much right now, it feels like my heart has been begging for years for me to see this, so I will let those words weigh down on me no longer. Truly, Thank You and I am Sorry.