Happy trade deadline weekend! Here Marty with the results of week 13:

California at Chicago

Elise Beaumont has had quite the trial by fire in her return to starting for California. She’s faced three playoff-bound teams in row – New York, Montreal and now Chicago – with a combined 26-9 record. This was her cleanest game yet, with 242 yards passing and no picks (though no touchdowns either). Unfortunately she and the rest of the Demons offense just couldn’t keep up with the juggernaut that is Darius Smith, who’s having one of the best seasons of his career. The veteran signal caller connected with receiver Max Stahl, who’s in the midst of a breakout season himself after a career as a backup or third-string WR, for three touchdowns. Despite cruising to an easy win, it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows for the Outlaws. Reigning offensive MVP Jean-Etienne Tremblay went down with a knee injury in the fourth quarter, and is expected to miss a game or two. Final score: CHI 34, CAL 12

North Florida at Downriver

Unfortunately, anyone looking forward to the Becker/Newman matchup this week ended up being sorely disappointed. Caryn Becker went down and stayed down after a sack late in the first quarter, and had to be helped off the field. She was quickly ruled out for the game with a thigh injury, leaving Andrew Calder to finish out the game under center. Calder’s started one game since the 2020 season and it showed, as he completed barely half of his passes and often missed by five yards or more. However, he managed to throw for two touchdowns without an interception, and led the team back from a 17-0 deficit to make it a one-score game in the third quarter. And that’s about when Lillian Newman went into beast mode. Downriver scored 20 unanswered points to end the Renegades’ three-game win streak. Final score: DWN 43, NFR 17

Richmond at Austin

This one was a very evenly matched game, with seven lead changes and nearly identical offensive stats. Highlighting the game was running back Royce Jackson, who redeemed his dud from last week with a 165 yard, two touchdown performance, including a 68 yard touchdown run that broke four tackles in the first quarter. The teams also matched each other when it came to collecting yellow flags, with 18 combined penalties. After scoring in the middle of the third quarter to take a one point lead, the Flames defense managed to hold the Blues scoreless for a full 15 minutes, before Laanemaa finally broke through with a short pass to Luigi Jordan to regain the lead with five minutes to play. A successful two-point conversion made it a seven-point game, but Richmond still had plenty of time to score to force overtime. After converting twice on third down, Carpentier got sacked twice in the span of three plays, leaving them facing a fourth and 23. Carpentier actually got the ball to Ronald Lackey with plenty of running room, but the fullback dropped the pass and they turned the ball over on downs. Final score: ATX 28, RIC 21

Grand Rapids at Colorado

You know, occasionally there are games where you just really don’t have much to say. This one was a defensive battle without much in the way of scoring. The most exciting bit was the final three minutes of the game, with the Dragons driving down the field needing a touchdown for the win. They made it to 1st and 10 on the Colorado 16 with a minute left, but Bobby Burnette took a sack for a ten yard loss. They worked their way back to 4th and 8 with 18 seconds remaining, but Sam Mansfield was ruled down a yard shy of the first and the Crushers could kneel out the rest of the time. Fortunately for GRD, Kira Cassiano should be ready to go next week. Final score: COL 17, GRD 13

New York at Nashville

So the Tuts ARE mortal, after all. Lance Maxwell would throw three picks, and the Defiant would hold Nashville scoreless in the second half for the upset win. That latter stat is even more impressive when you consider that all of Maxwell’s interceptions were in the first half, including one series where Nashville picked off Emi Tachibana only to have Maxwell give them the ball right back. In the second half, the New York defense would hold the Tuts to five consecutive three-and-outs, and force turnovers on downs on their final two possessions. It didn’t help that Nashville’s starting running back Bubba Deezen would leave with a head injury early in the game. Final score: NYD 27, NSH 10

Montreal at Baltimore

Quick quiz. Which of these teams would you pick to win in this matchup? Team A has 50 more yards of offense than its opponent, wins the possession time game, and has higher yards per attempt in both passing and receiving. Team B is 1/10 on third down, has six more penalties than its opponent for 70 more lost yards, and throws a 50-yard pick-six on its first possession. The thing is, both Team A and Team B are the Montreal Royal, who couldn’t seem to get out of their own way at any point in today’s contest. They needed to keep the pedal down, too, as Jillian St. Claire had her first three-TD game since Week 2. Of course, it didn’t help that with both Keonte Hughes and Nicholas Baker out, Tyron Appleby had precious little to throw to. Third-year receiver Zachary Pitlick, who’d had seven total targets in his career to this point, had seven in this game alone (his first career start). Unfortunately, both Hughes and Baker are likely to miss next week’s highly anticipated game at Chicago as well. Final score: BAL 28, MTL 19

Miami at Las Vegas

Miami is clearly already thinking about next season, given how active they’ve been leading up to the league’s trade deadline tomorrow. So is it any wonder that this game ended up being so lopsided? The score was already 17-0 heading into halftime, and things didn’t improve in the second half. Wil Hudson limped off the field after the second play of the third quarter, and was held out of the rest of the game as a precaution. The Bandits then proceeded to run up an additional 17 unanswered points in that quarter alone, before backup QB Raoul Fernandez finally got the Tropics on the board with a 59 yard pass play to Roy Viridi-Aqua. Fernandez actually outperformed Hudson when you directly compare the halves, though that’s largely a function of the aforementioned TD pass, which was over a quarter of their total passing yards for the game. On the other side, Stapler would have his best game of the season against the leaky Miami defense, throwing for 295 yards and three touchdowns, and rushing for a fourth TD. Final score: LVB 37, MIA 7

New Orleans at Easton

Of all the games this week to be the offensive barnburner, this isn’t the one I’d have picked. Both quarterbacks were on absolute fire. Draco Lindwurm threw for 294 yards and three touchdowns with no picks, and he was the lesser of the two QBs on the field. Theodore Dupre set a Corsairs team record with a five-touchdown game, including long-bomb throws to both Aleksy Wisnieski and Robert Ruiz (whose 65-yard catch was a career long). Easton scored to take a seven point lead halfway through the fourth quarter, but New Orleans countered with two touchdowns in only 90 seconds to flip the script on the Bald Eagles. Easton was left with 47 seconds to score to extend the game, and they managed to convert the first fourth down attempt. But they weren’t able to convert the second one, and New Orleans escapes with the win. Final score: NOC 42, EAS 35

Players of the Week

Offensive: Royce Jackson (RB – RIC): 165 rushing yards and two rushing touchdowns, plus three catches for 14 yards
Defensive: Hat Chargogga (LB – ATX): 9 tackles, a sack, a forced fumble and a fumble recovery
Special Teams: Curt Pike (K – DWN): Five field goals made (a team record), including two from 50+, plus four extra points

Here the preview of week 14:

RD @ ATX
The Continental West title might be out of reach for the Dragons after their four-point loss to the Crushers last week, but the playoff race is far from over. We thought the Dragons were out of the woods in getting Kira Cassiano back last week, but for one reason or another there was another setback in her recovery process. She isn't on the injury report this week, so HOPEFULLY that means she'll play in Austin. And they need her too, as they look up at Austin as the team they're chasing in the wild card standings. Austin might have found their future QB in Ica Laanemaa, as he once again made the plays he needed to in a much-needed win against the Flames in his second career start. Both teams are in the middle of three straight division games, so the importance of coming away with a win is extremely high. But for the Dragons, a loss to the Blues would deal a huge blow to their playoff chances.

NFR @ NOC
Every team has a disastrous game or two throughout a UFFL season, and the Renegades will likely be burning the tape of their trip to Taylor. They could not stop Lillian Newman, or Curt Pike's five field goals that added insult to (Caryn Becker's) injury. She's listed as Questionable on the injury report this week, and what most thought would be a "tune-up game" before the season travelling to New Orleans, is anything but entering Week 14. Outside of New York, the Corsairs are the hottest team in the league, winners of five straight, with Theodore Dupre playing every bit as well as the Corsairs would have hoped; neck and neck with Marc-Edouard Carpentier for Offensive Rookie of the Year. If Caryn Becker is ruled out, this might be a long day for the Renegades as New Orleans is showing no signs of slowing down amidst their mid-season surge.

NYD @ MIA
It's the hottest team in the UFFL against the coldest team in the UFFL. Emi Tachibana and the Defiant dismantled the Tuts by three scores despite a messy disciplinary game and multiple interceptions. This is a team no one wants to face right now, let alone a 1-10 Miami team that has the inside track to the first overall pick in next year's draft. They've already traded six players including several veterans and many expiring contracts for future assets; there's a genuine chance the Tropics could break the 2022 Richmond Flames' record for the worst record in UFFL history (they play two more games than that Richmond team), and they're on pace to break the record for the most points given up in a season. This is likely going to have everyone re-enacting the classic "Stop, stop, he's already dead..." Simpsons meme by the third quarter.

CAL @ COL
The Demons' game in Chicago last week was a de-facto playoff game for them. They weren't able to keep it close, and as a result they're 4.5 games back with 6 to play, likely excluded from the postseason dance for the third straight season. There's rarely a worse time to need a win when your schedule has you travelling to Aspen to battle the Crushers, with a 6-1 home record and the best team in the Continental Conference. After losing a close game to the Outlaws in Week 12, the Crushers were able to grind it out in the trenches to get back in the win column against the Dragons, reclaiming the 1-seed from the Renegades. It doesn't bode well for a reeling California team that needs a win in the most desperate of ways.

EAS @ DWN
After losing a heartbreaker to the Corsairs, the Bald Eagles will almost certainly miss the playoffs for the fourth straight season. At 3-9, it'll be all about assessing young talent and possibly selling pieces at the deadline. Their franchise QB since their inception, Draco Lindwurm, is not getting any younger, so it will be very interesting to see what the front office will do in the offseason in terms of taking a win-now approach or going through a small retool. It doesn't get any easier as they travel to Taylor to battle Lillian Newman and the Waves, in the thick of the Continental wild-card race after snapping their 3-game skid with a DOMINANT win against the Renegades. This is a game the Waves have to win to avoid significant pressure, having a rematch with the Renegades and a tilt with the Outlaws in Weeks 15 & 16.

MTL @ CHI
For the first time all season, the Royal looked mortal. Tyron Appleby looked admirable after coming off a lengthy injury, but consistent penalties in the worst times combined with an abysmal 3rd-down conversion rate and the inability to stop the Ponies' explosive plays doomed them to their first convincing loss of the season. They're right in the middle of the tightest division race the UFFL has seen in years, with the Defiant, Royal and Tuts ALL sitting at 9 wins with seven weeks left in the season. To add insult to injury, they will not have their leading receiver in Keonte Hughes for their trip to Chicago after spraining his wrist in Baltimore. This is the best time to face the Royal if you're the Outlaws. Even though they're 9-4 atop the United West, there's a growing sense of pressure each passing week, as the Corsairs refuse to lose. As strange as it might sound, this feels like a must-win game for the Outlaws more than it does for the Royal.

NSH @ LVB
After dropping back-to-back games to the Renegades and Defiant to slip to third in the division race, it might feel like the sky is falling in Nashville. But the truth is, they're still 9-4, currently have the tie-breaker against the team chasing them in the standings, and have been without their starting QB for many weeks. All signs point to Roman Oliviera returning for the first leg of a back-to-back against the Bandits, but we won't know for sure until game time. Much like the Demons with their game in Chicago, this is approaching the Bandits' de-facto playoff game, as the Tuts are the team they're chasing in the wild-card standings. Realistically, the Bandits will need to win both games to stay alive comfortably, presuming the Outlaws don't begin to fall apart.

RIC @ BAL
Another week, another hard fought loss by the Flames', who, once again, despite playing very well against a stout Austin team and Royce Jackson having one of his career days, could not make the plays when it mattered most. If the Flames played in the United Conference, they would have been eliminated from playoff contention with that loss in Austin, but in the Continental Conference, they're still only 2.5 games back of the Blues with another game remaining against them. They need to break their losing streak in Baltimore this week, who silenced doubters by crushing the Royal in a game many expected them to lose. It was a win they desperately needed, as the Waves are right on their heels. It would not be a good look to let the Flames' back into the playoff race after such a prolific showing against the Royal.

If the playoffs started today:
(4) Nashville Tuts @ (1) New York Defiant
(3) Montreal Royal @ (2) Chicago Outlaws
(4) Austin Blues @ (1) Colorado Crushers
(3) Baltimore Ponies @ (2) North Florida Renegades

Playoff clinching scenarios:
- No team can clinch a playoff spot in Week 14.

Playoff elimination scenarios:
- Easton will be eliminated from the playoffs with a loss to Downriver OR wins by New York and Montreal.
- Miami will be eliminated from the playoffs with a loss to New York AND wins by Austin and Baltimore.
- California will be eliminated from the playoffs with a loss to Colorado AND a Montreal win or tie against Chicago.

See you soon!