Sweet merciful Christ it's been a year.

There has been a malaise in the air that's made things feel worse and it's been an effort to push through it at times, but I would be lying if I said that I wasn't shielded from it in a way due to my current situation. Regardless, I've seen a lot of my friends suffering during this time, and I've also felt the squeeze that's been put on so many of us. The first three months of this year were a struggle to hit obligations where at times it felt like I was just treading water and going nowhere. There are people that are doing far worse than me right now. I'm very very lucky that I have others who can make sure that I'm going to be alright and that I'm not in a situation like what so many other people are experiencing right now, where I'm being menaced and oppressed by a government that is truly heartless in the kind of future that it wants to make. I don't have a lot I can do to help with that but I hope that my attempts to assist have given some people I know a bit of a lift as well and that by joining everyone to reach out to elected officials I've been able to tilt things just a bit in the right direction. That work still continues, but the thing about it is that it can be taken in bite-sized chunks every day. A three-minute call in the middle of the night going to a voice box can do a lot when joined with so many others or done over a long enough period. I'm not going to pretend that I can art or call my way out of our current situation... but the art always helps others and gives me material that I can use to keep others afloat, and the calls are what I'm able to contribute to a pressure campaign. It's a grand lattice that gets strengthened by every small act as long as those acts have meaning.

That, and in a non-political sense the art literally sustains me and brings joy to the people around me... and myself! It's a silly thing to say... but giving people the big boner, myself included, is important. It's fun and great and awesome and I love doing it. This is a good way to keep myself going and keep putting Circ and Celsius and Lysander out into the world while making my dreams come true, and even if I was making no money out of it I would still be writing things for myself. Fuck, I love writing things for myself. It feels so good to explore worlds through typing stuff out, through putting things together. It's wonderful to put a narrative together, to see it progress, to bounce characters off each other and watch them change and become more. I've gotten inspired this year from different media and different people, augh, I love my fucking cat and deer and all my characters so much and I wanna write more with them and I have ideas that I wanna hit hard!

I had a couple firsts this year that I really regret and want to make sure don't happen again. I'm trying to think about how and why I keep slowing down and I want to address them while also keeping in mind that the shoulder injury in October was healed in the way that it needed to be healed: unavoidable rest. I can feel myself still improving and I'm trying to stick to different means to protect myself. It's important for me to make sure that I keep getting better while also keeping in mind that there's certain things that I do that help me mentally but are a drain on my ability to actually get progress out. It's high time that I make a buffer for myself and focus down on that, and I think going into 2026 that's my intentions. I want to be able to float, not just for when the unexpected happens but because I need the ability to focus down and get things done instead of getting pulled in different directions.

There were a lot of feelings this year of being... constrained by life in general, of feeling pressed in by having to drop companies that have actually fucked things hard. I'm appreciative of everyone around me that's helped me to divest from shit that I don't want to be a part of anymore. It's been rough and at times it's felt like I'm stepping a bit backwards doing all this and I wonder how much more I can take, but people are incredibly good at getting me to look at silver linings. If anything, it's another step towards saving more money, right?

It would be impossible to talk about this year without talking about the good of it, though. Lovely trips with family provided a really great break from the world, especially combined with a big spread of avoiding social media thanks to being incredibly laser-focused on avoiding Deltarune... which was wonderful, by the way. Really, really good game that's shaping up to already be a masterpiece.  blackjackaught gave it to me in an extremely heartfelt gesture when I was unable to go in for it myself, and I have him to thank for the fun I get to experience with the future chapters of it to come next year as well. Aaaah, something good is for sure happening in 2026, that's such a treasure! I got to actually fursuit as both Circ and Celsius this year while also suiting as Lysander thanks to  Genshinin making me a partial, which... I'm still eternally grateful for. It was an amazing thing to do and I adore that deer so much. I love how walking around as him has given me a better insight into who he is. I'm so thankful I got to experience it. That partial was one of the biggest gifts I received this year and I love it so so much and I'm fucking yearning to suit again as all of them soon.

Megaplex, as well, was amazing. I had such a good time there, and because of it I now have a badge of Celsius just swinging over my bed like a little talisman that I can look at and think of better times. There's been so many small experiences this year, so many moments of personal growth, that have all blended together and given me such delight to counter the frustrations and pain of getting through this particular cycle. Christmas, too, this December has been so good. Everyone behaved themselves around my immediate vicinity, everyone got together and made where we live look so good. I got such nice gifts from all my friends at that time of year too that were such a treasure to look forwards to. There was a side benefit to being beat to shit in October: I got to REALLY get festive with it and actually dig deep into movies and games. I'd like to also thanks  Munks for gifting me Look Outside during that time as a game I really dug into and got inspired by. There's so much craft in that thing for something made by one person. It's truly, truly impressive.

Ooooh, oooh, and I'm learning how to play the fucking kalimba too! It's been INCREDIBLY rewarding to try my hand at doing some music and I think I want to keep practicing it, I've found that I've taken extremely well to practicing and gradually picking up small songs and I'd like to keep on trying it in 2026. Performing for people has made me so nervous that my mind just blanks the fuck out, but it's also been very fun! I'm hoping I can keep improving on this.

More than all that, one of my relatives is getting so successful it's headed to the point where they're doing things I never would have ever believed anyone in our family would be getting the opportunity to experience. It's been a big, big year for them and I'm extremely proud of them and I'm hoping that their side of the family gets taken care of because of this. They're going through what might either be a once-in-a-lifetime moment or the explosion of their career into something huge and I'm hoping that they just keep going, I want all the best for them and I know they can do something fantastic.

I'm hoping that it's a good sign that I'm ending this year in a surprisingly better position than I expected thanks to overestimating how much I needed to prepare for December and taking steps accordingly. It's hard to keep in mind sometimes that I need to be nice to myself as well but it's a good lesson to take to heart. There are things in 2026 that scare the hell out of me and I've reached out to people to help assuage me of it and they're going to make sure I hit it with full intentions. I think that that's the way forwards for all of us.

Despite all the rough parts of this year, the good of it shone so bright that I can't help but keep feeling hopeful about 2026. Everyone's support means so very much to me and I hope I'm able to return it when I can.

As an addendum to all this, I want to say that I'm on break for a couple weeks and will be back to work on the 17th. Mentally and physically, I need to recover. I'm eager to get back to making stuff for y'all again soon. I do this because it's fun and it's one of the most ethical jobs in the world to me, I bring happiness to y'all and I don't feel like shit doing it. There's been so many reminders this year that have made me remember that this is a fantastic way to live. I want to keep doing this. This work fills me with so much goddamn passion. I love being a part of this community, I love the people it connects me to. It's wonderful traveling to cons and recognizing people and having people recognize me. There's nothing in the world like having a friend in so many different states. I love that it's brought me Circ and Celsius and Lysander and Roil and Roxxanne and Julian and so many other characters that I keep wanting to flesh out. The furry community has enriched my life so much over the years, it's an incredible place to be.

I'm so overwhelmed by how much y'all have embraced Black Cat's Path. I'm thankful that I'm starting to come up with that setting and that friends allow me to play in the Empireverse, Null Verdict, Heat of Battle... all their settings as much as I can, and that they want to put their foot into mine too.

Thank you all for continuing to have my back. I hope your 2026 is wonderful. <3