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Hello; commissions
2 years ago
General
Recently I spoke to some friends and therapist. They helped me to understand something that I’ve had trouble to understand.
At the moment I believe I have complex grief related to commissions I owe. The pieces I accepted in November 22 were used to pay to have my cat put down and cremated. It was not my intention to use the funds from these pieces before they were finished but the situation was that I had to.
I now understand that I am extremely resentful to these artworks that I have to do. I need to not do them.
But, I used the money. My hoping to save up to refund the money, didn’t work as the job I got in December candled my contract with no communication. Then I had another job but it didn’t pay yet and now I lost that job, and I crashed my car… I am trying to find more work... u_u
At this time I don’t want to take on more commissions. I’ve failed to do the promised work. I don’t deserve to be trusted. But I feel out of options to work to refund the pieces I have to refund.
I want to refund everyone with interest and some additional amount to replay. That is my wish, but at this time I feel like my only option is to accept commissions to repay these piece or to ask for new pieces to create for those who I owe work to. My struggle to communicate makes everything so much harder, but I hope and try to do better.
All this to say.
I am sorry.
At the moment I believe I have complex grief related to commissions I owe. The pieces I accepted in November 22 were used to pay to have my cat put down and cremated. It was not my intention to use the funds from these pieces before they were finished but the situation was that I had to.
I now understand that I am extremely resentful to these artworks that I have to do. I need to not do them.
But, I used the money. My hoping to save up to refund the money, didn’t work as the job I got in December candled my contract with no communication. Then I had another job but it didn’t pay yet and now I lost that job, and I crashed my car… I am trying to find more work... u_u
At this time I don’t want to take on more commissions. I’ve failed to do the promised work. I don’t deserve to be trusted. But I feel out of options to work to refund the pieces I have to refund.
I want to refund everyone with interest and some additional amount to replay. That is my wish, but at this time I feel like my only option is to accept commissions to repay these piece or to ask for new pieces to create for those who I owe work to. My struggle to communicate makes everything so much harder, but I hope and try to do better.
All this to say.
I am sorry.
🥀 
How much if you mind me asking, do you feel you owe in refunding commissions?
The inflation on a $200 commission from the time is $12 in my head I’d prefer to add at least $25 on that $200.
Repayments on a loan of that size are hard to calculate but from my understanding it would likely bring the totally to $1000. If I split that additional $200 roughly between each commissioner it comes out to $25 each.
That’s at least how my head worked it out u_u
I don’t disagree in upping my prices but, I want to only take on work I know I will finish. In this case I believe in stream commissions where I finish the image before payment is made is the best option.
Then there is no trust the client has to place in me, it is just me that will have any trust to place.
1) imo, do not try to repay "with interest" or any other extras, this only makes everything harder on yourself and often winds up backfiring
2) do you want someone to help you communicate with clients, if only temporarily? Like how some ppl have "managers" to help with comm stuff
3) I agree with another commenter that, if you take more comms, you should raise your prices!
That is fair. My calculations put the interest of such a loan/currency interest around $25 per person. I don't think of this as a lot but it does slow down the process.
I did try to have a commission manager but... That was my ex partner, at the time I thought they where genuinely willing to help me but it back fired. I do think it would be helpful for me, but its a position in which I don't know everything I need from someone taking on that roll. So it feels quite wrong to ask someone outside of the situation to get into this.
Thank you very much for the vote of confidence. It means heaps coming from you Neo.
My plan at the time of posting is to work only on piece I can complete in a stream or the like. That way someone can request a commission, I can finish it and then be paid. I do not feel comfortable asking customers to trust me with the money up front at the moment.
And agreed on raising your prices. It would certainly help offset the costs overall and give you a little bit more on top. Not to mention, inflation has been everywhere since you last took on coms so your old prices are outdated and are in dire need of updating.
It's going to be hard since you've been away for a while, but it might be good to focus on in-stream coms with the goal of finishing them that day and be done with them while working on backlog pieces on none in-stream days. ensuring you are not taking on more work that will take days/weeks to finish can help you pick away at the pile slowly while also making money.
As for my two commissions, I'm more than happy to take them off your hands myself since you have already done the lines/sketches and finish them up myself! That would at least get 2 out of your queue if you are comfortable with it.
I really hope things work out for you from here onwards.
In my opinion you shouldn't take any more difficult/detailed commissions that cannot be finished on stream as the increasing backlog would make the matters even worse. It'd have antogonised the commissioners who has been waiting for their pieces since November. From a customer perspective there is no worse feeling that realizing an artist treated one like a free-interest loan.
My recommendation would be doing those stream commissions, put % of the money on a side to refund the people who have been waiting since November one after another because working on those commissions still reminds you of that upsetting day from the last year.
Have the list of the artworks to refund and publically show when one is refunded so those customers could see you keep your word so the lost trust could have been rebuilt.
I wish You all the best!
Glad to at least get some news somewhere, and getting an explanation on the why and how you stopped responding to my emails for many months now.
I am personally not against a refund, and I would feel uneasy with you adding interest, so please don't, at least for my case. I'd even wager that if you're okay with sending me the current state of what you've done, we could agree upon a partial refund, since you *did* work on it, and I wouldn't like the thought of making your situation worse than it already is
I just wish you had come up earlier, or at least answered my emails, as it would've avoided a lot of anxiety on my part as well, but at least now I know your reasons, and can only wish you that your situation improves
As always, no need to rush but, please keep in touch, for knowing what's happening, even if it's not about working on commissions, just helps not stressing about weither or not I've "lost" that money
Again, thank you for that journal, for mustering the courage to come forward and communicate the situation, best of luck for you, take care