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So what's been going on in your life, Raen?
4 years ago
General
Wow, how long has it been since I made an actual text post about happenings? I might as well write some of my thoughts down while they're still fresh in my head and well, what better time for more self-reflection before my 22nd birthday comes up too? I hope my ramblings make some chronological sense at least and not all over the place but I'll do my best and of course, thanks in advance if you do end up reading through to the end.
My art
Thanks for supporting me thus far, I really do appreciate all the help I've had along the way, criticism and praise on all my pieces that brought me to the artist that I am today. I started my Patreon in May of 2019, and even though I've only promised to use it as a tip jar I have almost 70 supporters on it as of now... It's been a long journey, huh? I started out mostly just drawing Monster Hunter related things and of course branching off to my various interests over the years, but now it feels like I'm a weird crossroads of things, where I don't feel the want to latch onto popular trends and as a result it really does feel like people don't stick around for my stuff as much as they used to anymore. This year honestly felt a bit lacklustre in terms of my creative output and I suppose I have been missing more than hitting with what really grabbed people's attention too. I do want to draw things that I like first and foremost, so I guess in the end it really will be balancing what I want and what other people will like from me too. Drawing the basic things probably gets the most instant gratification from the lowest denominator, but creating characters and art that connects with the viewer, or the intended audience will still mean the most to me in the long term. I'll definitely have to refine Raen's character and draw more of him down the line, as I don't intend to give him up nor do I mean for him to just remain as a comic relief. That someday I truly will be able to call him a fursona that I relate and feel strongly about. And as for commissions and such, I'll have to take less of it in the coming year for sure as well to balance my workload for the forseeable future, but I do hope you'll be able to enjoy my art for what it is too, as an extension of my feelings and muses because hey, I'm absolutely terrible at writing but not so bad at drawing things instead (or so I hope!)
My friends
It has been quite interesting I suppose, that I never really saw the depth of how far the community goes before I got more into VRChat and seeing all the things that goes on with all my friends. Back in 2018 when I first got really into drawing and the fandom, I mostly lurked in small separate groups and was content with that just being the way things were. As I drew more and got to know more people, I do realize that people had their own groups that they felt safer with and you really can't just invest everything into a single point -- because when people do get busy and you weren't, how else would you feel other than being left out? I had to learn that the hard way at some point throughout this year, and on more self-reflection, was ashamed at how I acted instead of being in the moment with the people who did stick around and help me find a better place. I do hope that as time goes on and the status quo moves on, that I will still have good friends to share all my joys with, to banter with, and share in the fact that we will be there for each other, and are but a single DM away (and maybe a few time zones, but hey that's what weekends are for, right)
In time I want to get to know friends even better, to realize how much wonderful everyone is in my life with all the love and support they have given me thus far, to know *you* better. Hit me up if you ever want to just chat, because chances are I would think you're a cooler person than I am. <3
Dear friends... Thank you.
My future
With my graduation this year and me being semi-independent for the past four or so years to explore myself, I find myself having been through.... a lot, and yet somehow feeling uncertain still of the future. I'm sure it comes as no surprise that the virus threw a wrench into everyone's plans, and even though a new normal would be the path that our country is adopting, the uncertainty that stretches from flight cancellations, a change in the system to tackle the spread, anecdotes from dear friends and even the way we greet each other still subtly lingers in my mind. I may have my degree to practice pharmacy now, but the internship year lies ahead and the potential exams and tests will complicate plans that I do aim to carry out in 2022. Even being a massive introvert, I've slowly realized over the years that I do want to meet people, to connect with them at conventions and feel like a part of something I can truly belong to. I dealt quite poorly with the fear of missing out this year, seeing all the new friends I've made going to physical conventions and just having fun with each other in general, and yet plans are still up in the air about how I will make that happen.... But I know that it will definitely happen at some point because hey, my friends can't all be wrong about all the fun that goes on with those things eh?
But there you have it. Four years ago I definitely would not have envisioned myself in this position, but life truly is strange sometimes... I definitely feel unsure about how the future will be, but sometimes you just have to think of the good times you had and smile a little, and think of the good times you will have and dream a little, and hope for the best.
Thanks for sticking around.
My art
Thanks for supporting me thus far, I really do appreciate all the help I've had along the way, criticism and praise on all my pieces that brought me to the artist that I am today. I started my Patreon in May of 2019, and even though I've only promised to use it as a tip jar I have almost 70 supporters on it as of now... It's been a long journey, huh? I started out mostly just drawing Monster Hunter related things and of course branching off to my various interests over the years, but now it feels like I'm a weird crossroads of things, where I don't feel the want to latch onto popular trends and as a result it really does feel like people don't stick around for my stuff as much as they used to anymore. This year honestly felt a bit lacklustre in terms of my creative output and I suppose I have been missing more than hitting with what really grabbed people's attention too. I do want to draw things that I like first and foremost, so I guess in the end it really will be balancing what I want and what other people will like from me too. Drawing the basic things probably gets the most instant gratification from the lowest denominator, but creating characters and art that connects with the viewer, or the intended audience will still mean the most to me in the long term. I'll definitely have to refine Raen's character and draw more of him down the line, as I don't intend to give him up nor do I mean for him to just remain as a comic relief. That someday I truly will be able to call him a fursona that I relate and feel strongly about. And as for commissions and such, I'll have to take less of it in the coming year for sure as well to balance my workload for the forseeable future, but I do hope you'll be able to enjoy my art for what it is too, as an extension of my feelings and muses because hey, I'm absolutely terrible at writing but not so bad at drawing things instead (or so I hope!)
My friends
It has been quite interesting I suppose, that I never really saw the depth of how far the community goes before I got more into VRChat and seeing all the things that goes on with all my friends. Back in 2018 when I first got really into drawing and the fandom, I mostly lurked in small separate groups and was content with that just being the way things were. As I drew more and got to know more people, I do realize that people had their own groups that they felt safer with and you really can't just invest everything into a single point -- because when people do get busy and you weren't, how else would you feel other than being left out? I had to learn that the hard way at some point throughout this year, and on more self-reflection, was ashamed at how I acted instead of being in the moment with the people who did stick around and help me find a better place. I do hope that as time goes on and the status quo moves on, that I will still have good friends to share all my joys with, to banter with, and share in the fact that we will be there for each other, and are but a single DM away (and maybe a few time zones, but hey that's what weekends are for, right)
In time I want to get to know friends even better, to realize how much wonderful everyone is in my life with all the love and support they have given me thus far, to know *you* better. Hit me up if you ever want to just chat, because chances are I would think you're a cooler person than I am. <3
Dear friends... Thank you.
My future
With my graduation this year and me being semi-independent for the past four or so years to explore myself, I find myself having been through.... a lot, and yet somehow feeling uncertain still of the future. I'm sure it comes as no surprise that the virus threw a wrench into everyone's plans, and even though a new normal would be the path that our country is adopting, the uncertainty that stretches from flight cancellations, a change in the system to tackle the spread, anecdotes from dear friends and even the way we greet each other still subtly lingers in my mind. I may have my degree to practice pharmacy now, but the internship year lies ahead and the potential exams and tests will complicate plans that I do aim to carry out in 2022. Even being a massive introvert, I've slowly realized over the years that I do want to meet people, to connect with them at conventions and feel like a part of something I can truly belong to. I dealt quite poorly with the fear of missing out this year, seeing all the new friends I've made going to physical conventions and just having fun with each other in general, and yet plans are still up in the air about how I will make that happen.... But I know that it will definitely happen at some point because hey, my friends can't all be wrong about all the fun that goes on with those things eh?
But there you have it. Four years ago I definitely would not have envisioned myself in this position, but life truly is strange sometimes... I definitely feel unsure about how the future will be, but sometimes you just have to think of the good times you had and smile a little, and think of the good times you will have and dream a little, and hope for the best.
Thanks for sticking around.
I had no intention, as a watcher and commissioner, to disappear on you. I may have first found you via your Monster Hunter works, but I'm not going to leave because your interests and such shift over time, so I hope that gives you at least a few positive vibes!
To the future, Raen!
And huge congrats on earning that degree!
As for hitting up folks, feel free to hit folks up on TG too, especially the monster hunter part of it. More than happy to chat with ya :D
And of course, I've been a bit more proactive in approaching people I actually wanted to talk to this year so I hope I can keep that up or do more of it in the next too!
Safe to say that the last couple years have put everyone through the wringer in some form or another, and it sucks to hear it's been quite isolating for you in that time. I'm glad you found a haven in VRC though! We really do gotta get you to an in-person con sometime though, yeah, and FOMO can be a real pain I know (I feel it with VRC ;w;). At this point it sounds like more of a case of "when" and not "if!" Hugs are due for ya when that day rolls around, and until it does you know I'm always down to chat with you :>
And yeah, vrchat has definitely been an eye opening experience but I'm sure it doesn't beat an actual con! Definitely will see to make it happen at some point next year, and of course if you do pick up vrc as well I'm sure everyone will be glad to see you around too
Hope to catch up with you at some point too, it's been ages ahah
Best of luck in the gym journey, too. I have a feeling if you're capable of getting through this education, you have it in you to get buff. 💪
That said, I am also looking forward to seeing you develop your own character !
From what I can see you seem like a genuinely awesome person and your sense of humor vibes pretty well with mine xD and so I would totally like to reach out at some point and chat some more.
Stay awesome and I wish you the best for the the coming year ^^
~Vitarka
I'm glad to hear that someone shares my same idea of humor too LOL, hope to talk more with you at some point when I do too, you're a super cool dude too
Happy to know that ^^ ! Guess we should throw each other a message then sometime ;)
Always try to have fun with with your art, and it will certainly always show x)
Friendships are interesting things. Enjoying the time shared with folks, playing games, chatting, watchig stuff togeather, I know the feeling. Its sometimes hard especially as an introvert, to ballance work/school, friendships and your own need to recharge. Getting to meet people in person can also be fun too! Though personally i dont enjoy cons, but the occasional meetup or trip out for dinner or a movie is always lovely. Or just hang out and play videogames. But the last year and a bit has really put a stopper on that for me unfortunately..
As for your approaching graduation, CONGRATS! Post secondary is a bugger to get through but! Its always a good feeling when you have finally done it! Good luck on your internship!
And for the art part well, I cant draw, but I do write. People do like following trends, but the artists I have had the pleasure getting to know tend to just do their thing. Sure it does mean there is a big group of folks that just come and go but, they do build up a slower group of people who stick around, and form their own comunity.
Personally id say, make sure you do things for you, weather its personal stuff or taking comissions that have aspects you either like or want to experiment with.
It seems like a basic bit of advice, I sure thought so when it was given to me.. but it really is important, helps keep you from getting burned out. And people can always tell when your doing something you love!
And I personally really love your art ^^ hope to see more of it! Wouldnt have watched if I didnt like it.
Thanks for the well wishes too!! I'm being more anxious about the little things nowadays but I'm sure I'll be able to pull through ahah
And it's true regarding the art I suppose, drawing for the people who enjoy your humour and the style and just the person behind it all in general is quite a nice feeling to have <3 Will definitely draw to draw more for myself down the line then!
Hope to keep impressing and thanks for staying around for my art too <3
and yea, hopefully I get to hang out with folks again soon in person, but the nice thing about the digital world is at least I can hang out with folks on here if in person isnt an option.. just in person is nice now and then!
And I look forward to seeing more art from you <3