This is another one of my personal rambly journals. You don’t have to read it, but given the circumstances, I feel obliged to put my feelings into words and pay respects, just like so many others have. This may all seem overly sentimental and over-the-top to some of you, but this is exactly how I feel.

First of all, thank you very much to all those who reached out to me after my previous journal a couple of weeks back – the company helped a lot and I am feeling much more emotionally stable now than I was then.

Of course, our whole community is in a very sombre state at the moment after the tragic passing of the legendary Kyle Dragon, a hero to me and many others in the fandom. I found Kyle’s stories back in my teen years when I was going through the lowest point in my life, way back before I became an active member of the fandom. I was just a lurker, and I genuinely feel like Kyle’s stories were the turning point for me deciding to attempt my own creativity. Like many others, I had struggled at that awkward age coming to terms with the weird and eccentric fetish that I’d developed, and finding those stories – brilliantly fun and colourful adventure stories with loveable characters and a plentiful amount of absolutely delightful tickle scenes – offered me a vast amount of comfort at a time that I really needed it. Pure escapist fantasy, almost perfectly attuned to my own extremely niche passions. If you haven’t read any of his stories, I urge you to do so. Having re-read them this past year, they are still IMO the pinnacle of furry fiction, with Timmy’s Adventure being my personal favourite. I adore his cast of characters.

I wasn’t close with Kyle or anything, but me and him did have a few conversations over the years and he was a truly lovely man, friendly, professional and always happy to engage with his fans. Just earlier this year, I was excitedly talking with him about the project he was recently working on. I can't help but feel regret about not properly telling him just how much he inspired me - even though he almost assuredly received hundreds of such messages over the years, I would have loved to have just personally thanked him for the impact he had.

On one hand, it feels silly to credit a furry tickle fetish writer with changing my life, but really, if it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t have engaged with the fandom, I wouldn’t have the amazing social circle that I have today, I wouldn’t have pursued the creative outlet of writing myself and I wouldn’t have lifted myself out of that awful breakdown all those years ago. The inspiration his stories gave me absolutely changed my life, and he has always been my idol as a result.

Yesterday it felt like a part of my youth had passed away, it was a painful and devastating blow. I can’t imagine what those closest to him must be feeling right now. But, seeing the entire community join together in grief and share stories of how Kyle inspired them was a huge catharsis. I am far from the only person who was brought into this fandom through his work, and it came as some comfort to read the huge outpouring of remembrance from almost every single person that I know on here. We may be a community of weird ticklish furries, but we can sure as hell come together as one and become an incredible support network when we need to.

Kyle’s work was all about cute critters smiling~ He left behind a great legacy and a library of work that I will still be re-reading my entire life. This is a difficult period for everyone, but there is so much about him to celebrate and enjoy, not just what he left behind, but the fandom and friendships that he kickstarted and that will still keep on developing for many years to come. I’m determined to turn this mourning into motivation, to follow the example that he set, to try and inspire others and support the existence of this small but tight-knit fandom.

Thank you, Kyle, for the amazing stories that brought me more inspiration than you could ever imagine. Thank you for pioneering this wonderful community that has saved my life so many times. I know I’ll get to ask for your autograph in heaven someday~

Thank you, everyone, for being that community and continuing to provide incredible friendships that will last a lifetime.

Thank you for existing. I love you all <3