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I apologize for the reupload. But the first one didn't look right so I moved it to scraps.
Also this one is a wee bit bigger.
WARNING: Incoming blah.
...I'm just writing my thoughts our here... Take whatever with a grain of salt or ignore it I dunno...
So... Lately a lot of the people I know, things are just happening, shit's blowing up, people are dying leaving, or just vanishing. Shit is horrible for all these people I care about... I have waay to much empathy for peoples, and it's bringing me down as well. And that gets under my scales. I don't have any excuse to be depressed, I come from a well-off family, that for the most part functions, everybody gets along. Large house, no real need for a job, somewhat well equipped machine shop where I spend most of my time. Life is good here right? ...I don't have an excuse to be down. I SHOULD BE FUCKING HAPPY!
...But I'm not...
Everybody has their sob stories and actually have a reason to be down. I've been molested/raped three times in my life... I don't remember any of them, so whoopee for me. Maybe that's why I drift more towards asexuality. I dunno.
I know one guy who gets the shit beat out of him on a regular basis because he's different. He also won't stand up for himself and just slips further and further down into the hole that's been dug for him. There's nothing I can do but watch as the life is pretty much sucked out of him. I know several with abusive families. Another who got raped recently... The list goes on and on and on.
And I have the gall to say I'm unhappy...
And then... I have a friend who I've had for years and I'm just now starting to realize our "friendship" is one-sided. I can't recall a time he's reached out to me. It's always me clinging to him and begging for his attention, and as time has progresses I've realized that he could really care less about me... That hurts.
I just.... I dunno... Meh...
Anyway, art & character © AZR
Also this one is a wee bit bigger.
WARNING: Incoming blah.
...I'm just writing my thoughts our here... Take whatever with a grain of salt or ignore it I dunno...
So... Lately a lot of the people I know, things are just happening, shit's blowing up, people are dying leaving, or just vanishing. Shit is horrible for all these people I care about... I have waay to much empathy for peoples, and it's bringing me down as well. And that gets under my scales. I don't have any excuse to be depressed, I come from a well-off family, that for the most part functions, everybody gets along. Large house, no real need for a job, somewhat well equipped machine shop where I spend most of my time. Life is good here right? ...I don't have an excuse to be down. I SHOULD BE FUCKING HAPPY!
...But I'm not...
Everybody has their sob stories and actually have a reason to be down. I've been molested/raped three times in my life... I don't remember any of them, so whoopee for me. Maybe that's why I drift more towards asexuality. I dunno.
I know one guy who gets the shit beat out of him on a regular basis because he's different. He also won't stand up for himself and just slips further and further down into the hole that's been dug for him. There's nothing I can do but watch as the life is pretty much sucked out of him. I know several with abusive families. Another who got raped recently... The list goes on and on and on.
And I have the gall to say I'm unhappy...
And then... I have a friend who I've had for years and I'm just now starting to realize our "friendship" is one-sided. I can't recall a time he's reached out to me. It's always me clinging to him and begging for his attention, and as time has progresses I've realized that he could really care less about me... That hurts.
I just.... I dunno... Meh...
Anyway, art & character © AZR
Category Artwork (Digital) / Portraits
Species Dragon (Other)
Size 400 x 986px
File Size 492.6 kB
First off, I really like the gritty reality of this picture. There's a lot of emotion in it.
Per the meaning, I used to have a tremendous amount of empathy for people. Anymore I actually tend to dislike everyone I meet. Well, let me re-phrase. I tend to dislike people when I get to know them. It's hilarious, because my life calling is "Customer Service" and working with people.. but I hate people and everyone is tremendously transparent to me. I suppose I stopped caring when I realized how few people actually shared the same empathy and compassion for me that I did for them. Because no one did, save perhaps two people. So when -I- was hurting... no one cared and no one was there to comfort me. But when someone I knew was hurting I'd bury my sad feelings about my issues to comfort them. People took advantage. Before long, people only came to me when they were upset so they could get titty (aka snugs and positive talks) to get them back on their way. When they were happy, they never talked to me. They had fun chatting with their real friends instead.
SO. I cared about ME. Only ME. And fuck anyone else. Because in the end... NO ONE cares about you as much as you do. So don't spread yourself too thin sweetums <3 take/make time for YOU... and if you're feelin' up to it... only then take the time to comfort other people. In the last 4 months or so I've finally started showing empathy towards others. After like, 4 years of not even giving the SLIGHTEST fuck from being screwed over all the time.
Be well, chin up! <3
Per the meaning, I used to have a tremendous amount of empathy for people. Anymore I actually tend to dislike everyone I meet. Well, let me re-phrase. I tend to dislike people when I get to know them. It's hilarious, because my life calling is "Customer Service" and working with people.. but I hate people and everyone is tremendously transparent to me. I suppose I stopped caring when I realized how few people actually shared the same empathy and compassion for me that I did for them. Because no one did, save perhaps two people. So when -I- was hurting... no one cared and no one was there to comfort me. But when someone I knew was hurting I'd bury my sad feelings about my issues to comfort them. People took advantage. Before long, people only came to me when they were upset so they could get titty (aka snugs and positive talks) to get them back on their way. When they were happy, they never talked to me. They had fun chatting with their real friends instead.
SO. I cared about ME. Only ME. And fuck anyone else. Because in the end... NO ONE cares about you as much as you do. So don't spread yourself too thin sweetums <3 take/make time for YOU... and if you're feelin' up to it... only then take the time to comfort other people. In the last 4 months or so I've finally started showing empathy towards others. After like, 4 years of not even giving the SLIGHTEST fuck from being screwed over all the time.
Be well, chin up! <3
Thanks Thora. I'll never comprehend how vent art can capture emotion so well. Especially since it usually starts out as angry scribbles.
That does hold a certain kind of irony doesn't it? Funny how many people end up getting called to what they dislike.
I... probably have a very similar issue to what you've described here. I don't understand some people and what they do. Friendship is supposed to work both ways... or at least I think it's supposed to...
I definitely think some more... (For lack of better words) "me time" would be a good idea. Ohmygod that sounds so lame. ._. Because you're right, the only person who cares most about you is yourself. I dunno... I'll figure something out, in the mean time, the art helps.
I will be in time. Things always get better eventually. ^-^
That does hold a certain kind of irony doesn't it? Funny how many people end up getting called to what they dislike.
I... probably have a very similar issue to what you've described here. I don't understand some people and what they do. Friendship is supposed to work both ways... or at least I think it's supposed to...
I definitely think some more... (For lack of better words) "me time" would be a good idea. Ohmygod that sounds so lame. ._. Because you're right, the only person who cares most about you is yourself. I dunno... I'll figure something out, in the mean time, the art helps.
I will be in time. Things always get better eventually. ^-^
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