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This is mini me, long ago and far away, and one of my fondest memories, the moment this snapshot was taken. When I was 4-5, we lived on a small farm, with a pond, chickens, ducks, a shetland pony, and a cow...This cow. She would always come to me when I sat in my swing, under the willow trees, and let me stroke her and hug her neck. Sometimes, she would nudge me with her head, pushing me in the swing. And sometimes, I would stand on the swing, and from there, climb onto her back and sprawl there, soaking up the warmth from her sun-warmed coat, and she would go about her slow grazing, with me on her back. I think she must have trod extra-carefully then, because I never fell off, until I was ready to slide down.
This is how I spent my summer days that year, with my chickens and ducks, including Melissa, the chicken I loved to carry under my arm wherever I went (she didn't seem to mind at all), and my beloved cow, who taught me about the gentleness and grace of cows, and taught me to love them. I named her Michelle. My parents knew I had named her, and they let me make a pet of her. I never thought she was intended to be anything but a big, fuzzy babysitter and companion for me. Then one day, Michelle was gone. I wondered about her, and missed her, but I don't remember ever getting a straight answer of where she had gone. And then one night, we were eating hamburgers, my dad looked at me, smirking, and asked, "So, how does Michelle taste?"
I can't ever forget how I felt that moment, to know I was eating my pet and best friend. And no, I'm not a vegetarian, but you don't knowingly let your child make a pet of meat cow, and if they do, you definitely don't tell them afterwards that they're eating it. And that lovely pond in the background is where my two brothers drowned a stray cat with a long wooden pole, while I watched in helpless horror. I will never forget its spluttering and squalling, and finally, the moment that it all went quiet. I really loved that farm, and all the animals on it, but the memories are bittersweet. ;_; Someday, I hope to commission an artist to paint this exact scene for me, so I'll have a better version that I can hang on the wall, because this little grainy photo is all I have to remember Michelle by. :(
Edit:
Maquenda did a speedpainting of the photo, and it's so beautiful; had to share! ;_; <333 http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9895176/ Also, some have commented that Michelle was likely a bull, but I didn't really notice the difference at that age, so "she" will always be a "cow" to me. :)
This is how I spent my summer days that year, with my chickens and ducks, including Melissa, the chicken I loved to carry under my arm wherever I went (she didn't seem to mind at all), and my beloved cow, who taught me about the gentleness and grace of cows, and taught me to love them. I named her Michelle. My parents knew I had named her, and they let me make a pet of her. I never thought she was intended to be anything but a big, fuzzy babysitter and companion for me. Then one day, Michelle was gone. I wondered about her, and missed her, but I don't remember ever getting a straight answer of where she had gone. And then one night, we were eating hamburgers, my dad looked at me, smirking, and asked, "So, how does Michelle taste?"
I can't ever forget how I felt that moment, to know I was eating my pet and best friend. And no, I'm not a vegetarian, but you don't knowingly let your child make a pet of meat cow, and if they do, you definitely don't tell them afterwards that they're eating it. And that lovely pond in the background is where my two brothers drowned a stray cat with a long wooden pole, while I watched in helpless horror. I will never forget its spluttering and squalling, and finally, the moment that it all went quiet. I really loved that farm, and all the animals on it, but the memories are bittersweet. ;_; Someday, I hope to commission an artist to paint this exact scene for me, so I'll have a better version that I can hang on the wall, because this little grainy photo is all I have to remember Michelle by. :(
Edit:
Maquenda did a speedpainting of the photo, and it's so beautiful; had to share! ;_; <333 http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9895176/ Also, some have commented that Michelle was likely a bull, but I didn't really notice the difference at that age, so "she" will always be a "cow" to me. :)
Category Photography / Animal related (non-anthro)
Species Cow
Size 827 x 981px
File Size 1.03 MB
That is the WORST thing. What the hell?! There are so many things wrong with that I can't believe parents do this, and I say this because this is not the first time I have heard such a tale. It's one thing to explain to kids that animals on a farm are usually for eating, but its another to make a mockery of it and set them up for the most epic of all heartbreak.
(See my comment to Windfalcon also.) I could have dealt with knowing Michelle was a meat cow, if they just told me right up front, and warned me not to make a pet of her...at the very least, they could have just said nothing about where those hamburgers came from, and I wouldn't have connected them with her disappearance (since I was so young). But my dad just said it to taunt me, because he knew how much I loved that cow. He thought it was funny to make such remarks, but then, he was always first and foremost a bully. :/
this is a really -BEAUTIFUL- photograph, and the bits you wrote about your memories with this cow and the other animals was warm and wonderful.
I'm so so so sorry that your parents did that to you, and that you had to see a cat murdered that way too... seriously :c
And yeah, agreeing with Thornwolf above - I've heard stories similar to this. It just.. breaks my heart and I can't wrap my head around it at all :c
-HUGS-
I'm so so so sorry that your parents did that to you, and that you had to see a cat murdered that way too... seriously :c
And yeah, agreeing with Thornwolf above - I've heard stories similar to this. It just.. breaks my heart and I can't wrap my head around it at all :c
-HUGS-
(See my comment to Windfalcon also.) We had a problem with feral cats bothering our chickens, and I was ok with my brothers and dad trapping them and just taking them away (I knew it had to be done), but this one escaped, and they chased it to the edge of the pond, then used that long pole to push the cat into the water, forcing it to swim further and further out. They kept pushing the cat's head and body underwater with the end of the pole every time it tried to surface or back to shore, until it finally drowned. I'll never forget that poor cat's cries each time they hit it. ;_; I was too young to stop them or do anything but just stare in horror, and I swore to myself then that when I grew up, I would take care of every single stray cat I found, and to this day, I have. I've owned about 30 cats in my life, all strays, fosters, dumpees and rescues, except for my current kitty, who was adopted from an ad in the paper.
I am sorry your family showed such a lack of empathy and so callous a disregard for life.
When I was a small child, one of our kittens got intentionally run over by someone at my brother's school. My family never told me at the time that someone had been bragging about running over her - I thought it was an accident until I was much, much older.
Still, nothing compared to these things you describe.
And any reason you're not a vegetarian, out of curiosity?
For what it's worth, I would find it much, much worse for them not to have told you, but they should have been far more respectful. And they should have told you before you ate the cow. It is a good lesson, though, that the meat we eat comes from animals who are fellow creatures that feel and experience the world much like we do. Not the best way of delivering it.
When I was a small child, one of our kittens got intentionally run over by someone at my brother's school. My family never told me at the time that someone had been bragging about running over her - I thought it was an accident until I was much, much older.
Still, nothing compared to these things you describe.
And any reason you're not a vegetarian, out of curiosity?
For what it's worth, I would find it much, much worse for them not to have told you, but they should have been far more respectful. And they should have told you before you ate the cow. It is a good lesson, though, that the meat we eat comes from animals who are fellow creatures that feel and experience the world much like we do. Not the best way of delivering it.
(See my comment to Thornwolf and Windfalcon also.) I'm so sorry about the kitten. ;_; I don't understand people like that, but I know them all too well. :( I'm not a vegetarian because I love meat too much, but I do fast from it occasionally, and very rarely eat red meat. I respect where meat comes from, and as much as possible, try to buy it from farmers who treat their animals humanely. If you have kids on a farm, you warn them not to make pets of livestock intended for meat, and make sure to tell them ahead of time what's going to happen to the animal. Even at that young age, I know a little about life and death on the farm, and could have accepted that Michelle was a meat cow, if they only they had warned me beforehand. :(
Your dad was an ass to ask that question of you. He should have either not let you befriend the cow or told you way ahead of time what the cow was for. I can't imagine being a parent letting that happen and then teasing my child about it. That's just cruel. :/ There's no reason to set up a child for heartbreak...
*nods* If he had at least just not said anything about where the hamburgers came from, that would have been ok, as I would have eventually shrugged it off about Michelle having disappeared. Kids just accept "mysteries" like that without questioning them too much. It's that mocking smirk of his that I will never forget, and how heartsick and nauseated I felt right then. I think I cried myself to sleep afterwards. :P
Ugh, I’ve heard of this story too many times (I come from a farming area so a lot of my friends dealt with the same issue.)
I learnt the hard lesson with cattle when I was in high school. I was part of the show cattle team, and ended up being the only one a particular steer called Winston would work well with. I’d go down and work with him every afternoon for hours till the point he would come bounding over, legs and head flailing like an excited horse till he stopped right before me and would head butt me for scratches (and I could ride him as well <3).
This went on for a few years and I got extremely attached while I trained him, and he was so excited to see me every time. But then the day came where I had to show him at his last show. I had to then walk him around an arena while people in suits from supermarkets bided on him per “kilo”, and I cried the entire time.
My friends and I tried to gather enough money to outbid for him so I could keep him as a pet, but we never got enough, so I had to say goodbye to him. I refused to eat meat for months after that, just in case I ate him.
That’s pretty much the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life, and that was while knowing what was coming. So I can only imagine how shocking your scenario must have been ;_;
I did learn to love cattle though, I ended up working on some small farms with them before working with horses. And I’d have a pet cow over a horse any day haha XD
I learnt the hard lesson with cattle when I was in high school. I was part of the show cattle team, and ended up being the only one a particular steer called Winston would work well with. I’d go down and work with him every afternoon for hours till the point he would come bounding over, legs and head flailing like an excited horse till he stopped right before me and would head butt me for scratches (and I could ride him as well <3).
This went on for a few years and I got extremely attached while I trained him, and he was so excited to see me every time. But then the day came where I had to show him at his last show. I had to then walk him around an arena while people in suits from supermarkets bided on him per “kilo”, and I cried the entire time.
My friends and I tried to gather enough money to outbid for him so I could keep him as a pet, but we never got enough, so I had to say goodbye to him. I refused to eat meat for months after that, just in case I ate him.
That’s pretty much the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life, and that was while knowing what was coming. So I can only imagine how shocking your scenario must have been ;_;
I did learn to love cattle though, I ended up working on some small farms with them before working with horses. And I’d have a pet cow over a horse any day haha XD
*nods and clings* I'm so, so sorry, hon...such a heartbreaking story. ;_; I really have a soft spot for cows, and wish I had a riding cow. :) There's a girl here in Norway who couldn't afford a horse, so got a cow to ride instead, and takes it to the shows and events (I think she may even do a bit of jumping with it?)...anyways, is just awesome. :D
When my father was young, a similar thing happened to him. He raised a bull calf into an adult, and treated it like his best friend. I think he was a bit older, but he came home from school one day to see that his cow was gone and that his father was cooking beef. He never talked to me about that, but I've heard second hand from many people that it devastated him.
I'm sorry that happened to you. And its stories like this that make me aprehensive about raising livestock. I couldn't eat something I loved. I used to raise chickens though. I have no issues at all eating eggs from a friend
I'm sorry that happened to you. And its stories like this that make me aprehensive about raising livestock. I couldn't eat something I loved. I used to raise chickens though. I have no issues at all eating eggs from a friend
Well, sadly...my dad and brothers were always cruel to animals (and people), and still are, from what I hear (from other family members). I have since cut ties with my parents and brothers, so I don't personally know what they're up to now. My childhood was mostly made up of bad memories, full of abuses I either suffered myself or witnessed (and why I now have C-PTSD). My saving grace was the times I spent alone with the farm animals and pets, and with my grandmother (she was a saint, and my rolemodel); or else I likely would have gone insane. Here's some of the specific memories I have (just the ones involving animals; I'll spare you the rest), so as to give you an idea...
Once, when I was at elementary school, a classmate of mine brought a tiny orphaned kitten in a box that he wanted to try to find a home for. Silly me, I took it home, thinking my parents might let me keep it. My dad promptly took it, box and all, and tossed it into a roadside ditch (from out of the truck window) while he was driving me home from school.
Another time, when I had a pet dog that barked in the night, my dad went out and took her, with the long chain still attached to her collar (she was temporarily chained up), and dumped her along the side of another road somewhere...I never saw her again, and have always fretted that the long chain may have gotten tangled in brush, leaving her trapped in the woods to die.
My brothers, especially my middle brother (the oldest brother more or less just "went along with it"), loved to torment animals; they thought it was funniest thing ever...aside from the cat incident mentioned above, they also caught an half-grown feral kitten in a cage, and gleefully took turns stabbing it with a long knife through the wire until it died.
Another time, they caught a possum in a cage that was barely big enough to hold it, they inserted a firecracker up his anus and lit it, laughing uproariously at the possum's squealing in pain when it went off.
I also had a pet mouse that got out of his cage once, and when I was trying to catch him, he ran under the couch. My oldest brother lifted up the end of the couch, and when the mouse ran under the area where the couch's wooden leg had rested, my brother purposely dropped the couch back down, squishing him.
The above incidents I witnessed with my own eyes, and they are burned in my memory, but I can't count the number of frogs, squirrels, birds and other small animals they've bragged about torturing, trapping and killing as well (or shot, wounded, and left to die), and the family pets they've routinely abused (and still do, obviously...since my aunt told me that my one of my brothers kicked his new wife's little pet dog when she wasn't in the room). They've also bragged about running over animals, particularly cats and possums, saying that they would "gun the engine and aim for them" whenever they saw them. (I don't think they do this whenever their new wives are in the car though.) I haven't witnessed the events they've bragged about, but I can only assume that they did them for real, judging on what they've done in the past that I saw for my myself.
Also, my aunt told me that when my dad was still in high school (she knew him back then too), he bought a big, fancy car and wanted to take her for a ride. She really didn't want to go, but did so, and he was driving down the street too fast, as usual, and ran over a puppy, then kept on going. And the children whom the puppy belonged to ran to the puppy in the street crying and screaming, but he didn't even slow down. It was the last time she ever rode in the car with him. She's never forgotten this incident, and to this day it still haunts her.
Once, when I was at elementary school, a classmate of mine brought a tiny orphaned kitten in a box that he wanted to try to find a home for. Silly me, I took it home, thinking my parents might let me keep it. My dad promptly took it, box and all, and tossed it into a roadside ditch (from out of the truck window) while he was driving me home from school.
Another time, when I had a pet dog that barked in the night, my dad went out and took her, with the long chain still attached to her collar (she was temporarily chained up), and dumped her along the side of another road somewhere...I never saw her again, and have always fretted that the long chain may have gotten tangled in brush, leaving her trapped in the woods to die.
My brothers, especially my middle brother (the oldest brother more or less just "went along with it"), loved to torment animals; they thought it was funniest thing ever...aside from the cat incident mentioned above, they also caught an half-grown feral kitten in a cage, and gleefully took turns stabbing it with a long knife through the wire until it died.
Another time, they caught a possum in a cage that was barely big enough to hold it, they inserted a firecracker up his anus and lit it, laughing uproariously at the possum's squealing in pain when it went off.
I also had a pet mouse that got out of his cage once, and when I was trying to catch him, he ran under the couch. My oldest brother lifted up the end of the couch, and when the mouse ran under the area where the couch's wooden leg had rested, my brother purposely dropped the couch back down, squishing him.
The above incidents I witnessed with my own eyes, and they are burned in my memory, but I can't count the number of frogs, squirrels, birds and other small animals they've bragged about torturing, trapping and killing as well (or shot, wounded, and left to die), and the family pets they've routinely abused (and still do, obviously...since my aunt told me that my one of my brothers kicked his new wife's little pet dog when she wasn't in the room). They've also bragged about running over animals, particularly cats and possums, saying that they would "gun the engine and aim for them" whenever they saw them. (I don't think they do this whenever their new wives are in the car though.) I haven't witnessed the events they've bragged about, but I can only assume that they did them for real, judging on what they've done in the past that I saw for my myself.
Also, my aunt told me that when my dad was still in high school (she knew him back then too), he bought a big, fancy car and wanted to take her for a ride. She really didn't want to go, but did so, and he was driving down the street too fast, as usual, and ran over a puppy, then kept on going. And the children whom the puppy belonged to ran to the puppy in the street crying and screaming, but he didn't even slow down. It was the last time she ever rode in the car with him. She's never forgotten this incident, and to this day it still haunts her.
Oh my god, I can't....I can even fathom... D: Not to become an 'armchair psychologist' but I do know that children who torture and kill animals have a higher chance of growing up into violent adults. Your (adult) brother kicking his wife's dog suggests that he still has these violent tendencies. Do they hurt children or adults at all? I would be frightened to be around them :(
I can't even imagine someone enjoying killing for fun. The one time I accidentally hit a chipmunk with my car (it literally darted under my tire out of nowhere while I was driving down the road) I felt sick for the entire ride home. It's just...it's heartless.
I can't even imagine someone enjoying killing for fun. The one time I accidentally hit a chipmunk with my car (it literally darted under my tire out of nowhere while I was driving down the road) I felt sick for the entire ride home. It's just...it's heartless.
Yeah...you don't even have to be an armchair psychologist to know that is extremely abnormal behavior. I told my therapist all about it, and she said this was definite psychopathic/sociopathic behavior (which I had already suspected, as they fit every single symptom of that). :( Me and my brothers were both beaten by my dad, and my one brother (the middle one, whom I mentioned was the more cruel of the two) went on to beat and bully his own kids. My therapist strongly urged me to cut ties with all of them, and to keep my kids well away from them, in order to stay safe, and so I have. And yeah, I know what you mean about the chipmunk...the few times we've accidently run over animals, we always stopped to get them help, take them to a vet (if possible), or if they were dead, to move them out of the road. One time, we came upon a magpie mourning his dead mate in the middle of the road (someone else had hit her), and he wouldn't leave her side, so we moved her body to the side of the road, so he wouldn't get hit as well. Poor things. ;_;
If I see birds around roadkill in the road, I always try to pull over and toss it into the grass (if it's safe to do so). Once I pulled almost right up to a bunch of crows and a turkey vulture who didn't want to get out of the street! Finally they flew off, and I threw the squirrel they were gathered around way into the grass. If I ever (god forbid) hit an animal and injured it, I would certainly stop and try to help it. I can't imagine hitting a dog, for example, and just driving off, which lots of people do! How can you live with yourself, knowing that you could have saved an animal's life? The LEAST you can do is stop and see if it needs help. People who don't have empathy for animals have a lot of deep, serious problems. :( I'm glad to hear that you're keeping your distance from your abusive father and brothers. Family or not, you shouldn't be forced to interact with them just because they're family.
You're a wonderful soul, dear. <3 *hugs* And yeah, things have been much better for me since cutting ties (and after posting this, which is related to it all: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/6993227/ ). All my life, I've been so terribly stressed, with chronic anxiety, depression, nightmares, paranoia, and phobias, and much of that has calmed down now. I still get it "triggered" from time to time, and some wounds will never heal (the chronic illnesses I developed as a side effect of C-PTSD), but at least I've started the psychological healing process, which wasn't possible until I cut ties.
;_; Aww, you're so incredibly kind to think of offering that. I had started painting it myself, back in the 90's, when I still had energy to take on such complex work, and got about 1/3rd done with it, before it got lost during a move. I just never had the energy to start it all over again. :(
Eyyeah, that's not an okay thing to do to someone I really don't understand the reasoning behind the method in which he told you the news. While it's great that you had a caring relationship with her, I don't even understand why they would allow you to form that type of close bond with her if that was her purpose. Fortunately, you seem to not have inherited your immediate family's nature. At least you have your good memories and this beautiful photo.
It's just the way he was. :/ And thanks...I think the main reason I didn't turn out like that is because I had the good influence of my grandmother, whom I spent as much time with as I could (I would spend much of my summers with her, and would cry whenever I had to go back home). But I've read that sociopathic behavior is genetic, so maybe my brother (or brothers, not sure about the oldest one) inherited it, but I didn't? I just dunno. :P
I was practically raised on my grandparents dairy farm so I can relate to this.
I had two cows that I considered my pets. The first I learned to show cattle on, Sunshine, and her daughter that I named Skye. I raised them both pretty much from babies and they were the sweetest ones on the farm. Even when I developed something of a fear of them after a particularly aggressive one pushed me through a barbed wire fence and gave me a nasty scar I still loved being close to those two and they would come up to the fence let me hug them. (Unfortunately there was a time when the aggressive one was in the same pasture so I couldn't go see them without being charged).
Sunshine was then sent to another farm when my grandpa couldn't handle the milking part of the business anymore which I.. adjusted to. It's how the farm works, but I still miss her and don't know what happened to her. Skye was a heartbreaker though because I eventually wasn't able to go out there as much and regretfully lost track of what happened to her. I was unfortunate enough to ask about her once and my grandmother thought she'd told me that Skye died young (for a cow) of Leukemia.. :c
I agree, farm life is full of bittersweet memories.
I had two cows that I considered my pets. The first I learned to show cattle on, Sunshine, and her daughter that I named Skye. I raised them both pretty much from babies and they were the sweetest ones on the farm. Even when I developed something of a fear of them after a particularly aggressive one pushed me through a barbed wire fence and gave me a nasty scar I still loved being close to those two and they would come up to the fence let me hug them. (Unfortunately there was a time when the aggressive one was in the same pasture so I couldn't go see them without being charged).
Sunshine was then sent to another farm when my grandpa couldn't handle the milking part of the business anymore which I.. adjusted to. It's how the farm works, but I still miss her and don't know what happened to her. Skye was a heartbreaker though because I eventually wasn't able to go out there as much and regretfully lost track of what happened to her. I was unfortunate enough to ask about her once and my grandmother thought she'd told me that Skye died young (for a cow) of Leukemia.. :c
I agree, farm life is full of bittersweet memories.
My dad grew up on a beef cattle farm and I spent a lot of time there as a kid. We had a lot of cats, occasionally a farm dog, but it was mostly the cats and cows. I can't even imagine doing that to a child. Even though death is a part of life on the farm (we had the gentlest gray kitten named Dusty who got hit by a car on the road going past the farm. I cried when I found out, even though it was months later) you should never make a joke of that, especially if that animal has become a pet of sorts. I'm sorry that your dad did that to you, but I'm glad you have some good memories of Michelle.
The first time I met anything that became someone's dinner was rabbit hutches outside a building for a semester in college - and it was sort of a shock to have them gone suddenly because they were now someone's meal. The second time were some goats, where the owner was really clear on the fact that they were going to be food, but until that point they were wanted and cared for as well, and somehow that had no sting at all. None of this is throwing a child right off the deep end. Again, I'm sorry. When I was a kid, "growing our own food" meant I had to bust my ass for hours in red clay and sun, but the crummy aspects of that are "well, okay, maybe the way to do it better is to do it differently." I can't imagine the emotional complexity of dealing with animals rather than crops.
Oh geez...I'm so sorry. ;_; *hugs* And I've always made a point to teach my kids where food comes from, so they will respect it, and also not let them get too attached to livestock. At the junior high here, they take the kids to the farm down the road, and show them the whole process of slaughtering a calf, from the killing to the cooking, which is hard for them to watch, but important for them to understand. Kids are far too "disconnected" from their food sources these days, when they can just run to the store and buy whatever, and never think about where it came from, or the animal that had to sacrifice its life for their meal.
I never be really disconnected from that because almost everyone in my family is hunters so I see many many deer and moose hanged by ankles in the garage. Beer too, they hunt them in the native reserve where I pass my summer, it's make great pizza lol But they teach me to respect them too, even if you will kill an animal, he will give his life for you, the least you can do is to ensure that his life is beautiful and when you will kill him, done the most quickly and painlessly as possible and respects to use whatever gives you. I use blood and bone for the garden, I give skin for a friend who use it for making leather, hooves and ears to the dog, etc...
I'm stuck between thinking, "Wow, your family sucks!" and "Your family sounds depressingly normal." On either a micro or macro scale, societies that show a casual disreguard for living creatures are unspeakably cruel, and sometimes that cruelty will be diverted to non-traditional sources. And why not? After all, if cruelty was bad, it wouldn't be legal now, would it?
I'm also stuck between two readings of this story:
*My father did a bad thing because he hurt my feelings.
*My father did a bad thing because he killed my 'friend'.
One of these I have sympthy for. The other, not so much.
I'm also stuck between two readings of this story:
*My father did a bad thing because he hurt my feelings.
*My father did a bad thing because he killed my 'friend'.
One of these I have sympthy for. The other, not so much.
Down in TX, where this was, such behavior was "depressingly normal", sadly. I've met some decent, caring rednecks in my time, but most of the ones I've known from down there were the "Hey Bubba, let's go keel sumpthin" type. It's just the way people were, and still are. And I would have been able to deal with the killing of my friend, if he had just taken the time to explain to me right up front that they had bought her for meat, not to be a pet (or told me even after they saw me starting to bond with her), and definitely not taunted me about eating her after the fact, just because he thought it was funny. :(
Oh gosh... I forgot you grew up in TX... yes, I can tell you people are still this way in TX. They are probably this way all over the world, but there was an overwhelming majority attitude of disposable, worthless animals, and when I would question it religion nearly always came up. I saw this first hand at the pet shops I worked at.
Yep...I think TX is one of the worst places in this regard, and religion is always their excuse...which doesn't even make sense, because Adam was supposed to be a caretaker and nurturer of Creation, not some cruel master and slave-driver, only using nature for his personal benefit and entertainment. :(
Oh dear God.... When I read burgers for dinner, I didn't even have to read any further... Knowing your dad... :C Why, oh God did he do that, knowing how gentle and sweet child you were, especially with Michelle.... If I was him, even if I'd have to kill the cow, I'd somehow find a way to avoid it, knowing my child loves that animal so much... :(
And your brothers... I know there are always such kids who torture strays, even here in my street among kids today who are so overwhelmed by animal rights and love for them, even now it's happening.... I am so so sorry to see you had to be in the picture of that event. :( I know how I felt when I witnessed such few times, and all I can say now is that I really wish we could have been sisters, and then I'd really kick everyone's butt around you, who'd ever try to hurt you somehow. :/ *holds you tight*
And your brothers... I know there are always such kids who torture strays, even here in my street among kids today who are so overwhelmed by animal rights and love for them, even now it's happening.... I am so so sorry to see you had to be in the picture of that event. :( I know how I felt when I witnessed such few times, and all I can say now is that I really wish we could have been sisters, and then I'd really kick everyone's butt around you, who'd ever try to hurt you somehow. :/ *holds you tight*
*nods and hugs* I just wish he had at least not said anything about where the burgers came from...I would have missed Michelle, and wondered where she had gone, but eventually, I would have just shrugged it off. It's that mocking smirk of his that I will never forget, and how heartsick and nauseated I felt that moment (like when Puddleglum found out he was eating the talking stag, that the giants had killed and served to him). :( And the torturing of those stray cats and the opossum...yeah, you can't even get such images out of your mind. I'm so sorry you had to witness such things too. ;_;
I really don't know...I don't talk to them anymore, but they never seemed sorry for any of the animal abuses I witnessed, nor my one brother's abuse of his kid (who has since run away from him to live with her real mom; his other kid is still living with him). My other brother didn't raise his own kid, so I don't know how he would have treated her if she had lived with him. I hope someday they'll "come around", and try to make amends for things, but there's no telling. :/
Awww. That is really sad. I'm sorry that you had such a bad experience and your brothers did something that awful. At least you showed Michelle some compassion as most beef cattle don't get. I know Clyde and I got upset that we couldn't do anything about a Calf that was hand reared since he was 2 weeks old that someone is selling for slaughter because he was too overweight to show and they are ready to toss him for their next project... I mean I can understand slaughter and I have no problems with it. But when it is a pet and nothing is wrong with him/her or was once considered a pet then just thrown away like it was yesterdays paper.. That is just sad. And shame on your father for thinking something like that would be funny. Or even not explaining her presence on the farm. Personally I think it would be harder to explain after you ate her than to say something before hand. Also how could your brothers feel no remorse for that poor cat? It's crazy I saw something the other day about someone who saw a video of a guy encouraging his dog to shake a cat to death. And said he didn't get there in time yet was taping it.. I mean I am not much of a cat person personally. And given the choice between Cats and Dogs I would pick a Dog anytime but if there is a Cat in need I'm bot just going to turn my back on it. I even helped a Mouse I found after we got hit by several Hurricanes at once she did die she was slightly lethargic to begin with but at least she had a nice warm cage , food and water in her final weeks. I don't do many humans but I would be happy to make a small painting for free after I get out the rest of these commissions and trades out if you like. I just got a job so it may be a little slower than my usual rate of a few days to a week but it would be an honor to try my best and I'll even do an ACEO of a happy Michelle too :)
;_; (If he could tape it, he could have saved it. I'll never understand those whose first thought is to take a pic or video of abuse they see rather than to immediately jump into action and try to stop it...unless it's happening somewhere they can see but not reach, in which case they should call the cops first and foremost, and then take pics after, for evidence.) :/ I'm so sorry about your calf too. :( *hugs* As for the painting, you are so very kind to offer to do it...but I wouldn't feel right getting something like that for free, but I can't afford any new commissions right now.
Seriously.. I don't like when the shoe is on the other foot either. If they are genuinely playing that is fine. Yea it's a shame he is/was being treated like that and when you feel helpless to do anything.. It sucks. Well it wouldn't be free. It would be a gift for a friend :). Like a birthday gift! Or you could doodle whatever and we could call it a trade lol.
I can't express the intensity of the emotions I feel, after seeing this photo and reading your text, as well as reading all the replies, and all your responses above. I am in tears. Yes, I also read your response to Windfalcon. I don't have words for what your father and your brothers did... and from what it seems like, what your brothers are still doing. It's people like these that makes me ashamed to be human, and makes me want to be able to personally put everything right for every animal who suffers as a result of humans' deeds.
I am really grateful for your grandmother, for being someone so important to you during your childhood. I am so sorry that you had to endure your family. I firmly believe that you are a truly wonderful person, and you deserved anything but this. :(
The photo, while being grainy, is such a beautiful photo. I start crying just by looking at the photo. As the photo so clearly depicts two friends of different species, two individuals who have found a friend in each other, and not allowing the difference in species be a barrier. This has such a strong emotional impact, and it comes across so well in this photo. And Michelle was so beautiful! She had such a beautiful face, and you both look so sweet together.
Despite the truly horrid ending, it is so good to know that you two found each other, and shared good times together, while it lasted.
I know how it is to love and lose a bovine friend. But... I don't know how it is to have such a horrible family to grow up in.
Thank you for sharing this horrific, and partially very beautiful, story from your childhood. And thank you for sharing this endlessly beautiful photo.
I am really grateful for your grandmother, for being someone so important to you during your childhood. I am so sorry that you had to endure your family. I firmly believe that you are a truly wonderful person, and you deserved anything but this. :(
The photo, while being grainy, is such a beautiful photo. I start crying just by looking at the photo. As the photo so clearly depicts two friends of different species, two individuals who have found a friend in each other, and not allowing the difference in species be a barrier. This has such a strong emotional impact, and it comes across so well in this photo. And Michelle was so beautiful! She had such a beautiful face, and you both look so sweet together.
Despite the truly horrid ending, it is so good to know that you two found each other, and shared good times together, while it lasted.
I know how it is to love and lose a bovine friend. But... I don't know how it is to have such a horrible family to grow up in.
Thank you for sharing this horrific, and partially very beautiful, story from your childhood. And thank you for sharing this endlessly beautiful photo.
*hughughugs* <333 Thank you so much, sweety; you are a true angel. I read about your loss of the calf too, back when you posted it, and I cried, remembering how I felt about losing Michelle, and I couldn't help but think of you when I posted this pic. It's so wonderful and touching that you based your fursona off him as a way to honor his memory. <3 *nuzzles*
Aw man, I'm so sorry you had to grow up with such cruelty! Your story reminds me quite a bit of an experience my mom had growing up. Her dad bought a rabbit and never explained to them that the rabbit would be for meat. Thinking he was a pet, they became attached giving him the name Pinky. One day she came home to Pinky draining in the bathtub, was of course horrified, and refused to eat dinner that night. I think it clicked with her dad after the fact that they had grown attached, so thankfully he didn't tease or anything. It's sad to see that others have had similar experiences, that kind of cruelty is unnecessary. Again, so sorry you had to go through that! *Hugs* The photo is beautiful though, I think the relationship between you and Michelle shows through
*nods and hugs* Thank you. <3 And I did flee the moment I could; just to get out of there...I married my highschool sweetheart, right out of highschool, even though we fought all the time we dated, and I knew deep down he wasn't right for me (he was abusive), and it would never work long-term, but I stayed married for 11 years, trying my hardest to make it work, not only because I loved him in spite of everything, but also because I was terrified of having to move back in with my parents, and to face "the unknown". Eventually we divorced, and I did have to move back in with them, while waiting for the divorce to be settled, because I was a stay-home-mom without a job, income or resume, with 2 kids, in debt and my credit ruined (from medical expenses), and no where to else stay at the time. I had already met Sayh by then, and was planning to move here with my kids to be with him, but couldn't until everything was settled and done back in TX. That was the hardest year of my life, and a very harsh reminder that I had to stay away from my family, at all costs. But I'm too soft-hearted and forgiving for my own good, and I felt like I would be "an ungrateful child who didn't honor her parents" if I cut ties with them, even after all they did to me, and so after moving here, I still kept in contact with them for 9 more years. But things kept degrading between me and them, and my health and mental state got much worse (see my comment here: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/985...../#cid:65879831 ) and so I started to take therapy, and my therapist strongly urged me to cut ties (as my hubby also had been), assuring me that I would not be an "awful person" if I did, and that it would be the only way for me to heal, protect myself and my kids, and preserve my sanity. She (and hubby) were right, and I'm far better off now that I finally did it. The memories still haunt me, and I still get "triggered" from time to time, but I'm slowly healing. :) (And also, I love country and folk music!) :D
Uhmmmm , I do believe Michelle is actually Michel . A bull or steer . I hope you can remember the happy memories and forget the bad ones . It sounds like you did the right thing staying away from that part of the family they have real problems that could be dangerous . I grew up on a farm and never tortured or pointlessly killed any animals and don't know of anyone else who did either . We raised animals for food and never thought about being cruel to them . It was more like a nice car or something like that you took care of it so it could do it's job .
Yeah, for all I knew back then (at that age), she may have been a he, but no one ever told me otherwise, so Michelle was always a "she" to me. :) And thank you. <3 I do have lots of good memories at my uncle's ranch, and with my grandmother too (she lived in the country also). :)
Having read your story and comments I can`t help but feel a little disturbed such people go on undeterred and unpunished. More so I feel sorry you had to deal with all that growing up. I can`t even descibe the emotional change I had reading the description ;_; *hugs* have it made into a lovely painting and try to remember the good memories and forget the horrible ones.
*hugs tight* Thank you. The reason they don't get deterred and punished is because they hide it so well from everyone else, either within a family, or within a company (in my case it was both, since we had a family-run business). They chose only a few victims to bully, which they only do in private, and then openly, to everyone else, they only show their charming side, so no one other than their victim(s) ever suspects them of having a dark side. And they fill the victim with such fear and dread of them (or so totally control, brainwash and blackmail them), that the victim will never attempt to expose them, no matter how bad the abuse is. I was 39 before I finally had the guts to do it. And once exposed, they will simply lie out their teeth to everyone whom they have charmed, making the victim seem to be the only one who is lying and delusional, and who is just trying to make them (the bully) look bad. And they will encourage everyone they know to shun the victim, heaping on all sorts of slander and false rumors of things the victim has supposedly done (they they never did), in order to make them into the black sheep of the family and/or public enemy #1. You can read more about these kinds of bullies here: http://www.bullyonline.org/workbull......htm#Sociopath and http://www.bullyonline.org/related/family.htm
That's a touching photo. Looks like a beautiful place to spend one's childhood years... too bad about how they broke the news to you about Michelle. :/ I grew up on a small farm too, and had learned about the 'food chain' and such things at a young age. I had a 'pet' steer to raise each year, three years in a row, which I bottle fed, etc. etc. Their names: Tablescraps 1, 2 and 3. At least I knew ahead of time what was going to happen!
*nods* I would have been okay with knowing that Michelle was bought for meat, if only they had told me before I got a chance to bond with her...but in retrospect, even at the price of such heartache and betrayal, I'm so glad I got the chance to bond with a cow, if only for a short time, because I gained a whole new respect for them, which I have never forgotten. <3
*hugs tightly* Oh, Swannie.....
I'm struggling for words here.
It sounds like in some ways like such an idyllic childhood, the kind of thing of fantasy novels we wish we could dive into and wrap around ourselves....
...And to have it... och it makes me so mad... to have it brutalized like that.... Och sweetie.
*hugs tightly and wroooooos*
I'm struggling for words here.
It sounds like in some ways like such an idyllic childhood, the kind of thing of fantasy novels we wish we could dive into and wrap around ourselves....
...And to have it... och it makes me so mad... to have it brutalized like that.... Och sweetie.
*hugs tightly and wroooooos*
Oh my goodness, I'm terribly sorry to hear about this. *Hug* I can't imagine much else as cruel as letting a child bond like that with a cow (or any creature for that matter, personally I've found bonding with a cow a somewhat more powerful thing than many other animals, each to their own), only to then tell them later that they're eating it and to just find it funny, to smirk like that. It's disgusting. I can certainly see how the memories of your childhood are bittersweet.
*nods and hugs* There's just something very special about cows, that such a huge, bulky creature, which everyone takes for granted, and just looks at as "meat on the hoof", is one of the gentlest, kindest, most graceful creatures there is, and make such wonderful companions, if only given the chance. <3 (Dunno if you've ever read "The Book of the Dun Cow", but that's my favorite book, and I can't help but see all cows as "angels in disguise".)
I'm all about letting my boys know where food comes from. They know that one day we may eat our chickens.. and they're ok with that. There's a video on YouTube of this sweet woman cradling an old chicken, just talking to it so gently and then bleeding it slowly so the chicken passes out before it gets killed. The bird passes peacefully, with respect and dignity. She then thanks the bird for all it has done in it's life. That is how it should be..
Doing that to a child.. that's despicable And the cat.. animal cruelty is always so gut wrenching to me. They really don't do a thing to deserve that kind of treatment.
The photograph is beautiful. It looks like a place I could spend my days at!
(Found this through the gardening group, so.. late response, but felt compelled to respond either way)
Doing that to a child.. that's despicable And the cat.. animal cruelty is always so gut wrenching to me. They really don't do a thing to deserve that kind of treatment.
The photograph is beautiful. It looks like a place I could spend my days at!
(Found this through the gardening group, so.. late response, but felt compelled to respond either way)
My mom did the same thing to me.
we always had pet sheep. We never ate them. they were just around for fun.
Well oneday, we had too many. Mom gave one away to a friend.
Turns out the friend didn't want a pet sheep.
A few weeks later, the friend apparently brought some of the meat over to give to my mom. My mom wasn't too attached to the sheep so she thought it was actually kinda neat.
She gave me some.
and excitedly asked me, "Guess what it is? 8]"
"what?"
"Hugo!"
I just stood there for a minute
spit it into the sink (tearing up a little) and said
"what the FUCK is wrong with you???"
worst feeling in the world.
I'll never forget the look of shocked realization on her face.
I don't think I've ever seen my mom more sorry about anything. u_u
we always had pet sheep. We never ate them. they were just around for fun.
Well oneday, we had too many. Mom gave one away to a friend.
Turns out the friend didn't want a pet sheep.
A few weeks later, the friend apparently brought some of the meat over to give to my mom. My mom wasn't too attached to the sheep so she thought it was actually kinda neat.
She gave me some.
and excitedly asked me, "Guess what it is? 8]"
"what?"
"Hugo!"
I just stood there for a minute
spit it into the sink (tearing up a little) and said
"what the FUCK is wrong with you???"
worst feeling in the world.
I'll never forget the look of shocked realization on her face.
I don't think I've ever seen my mom more sorry about anything. u_u
I only just stumbled upon this and my mouth is just agape reading about your brothers and father. What happened to you is HORRIFYING. I observed my own biological father torture animals in "creative" ways until about age 5 or 6 and thank god I've never seen him since, barely even remember what he looks like. Stuff like this really leaves a stain; for certain and takes away such a big part of your childhood. I'm so sorry all this happened to and around you. I just want to give you the biggest possible hug :c I'm glad you have this photo and painting. <3
I was just browsing this site for art and came across this by accident. This is really sad to hear, and has put a damper on my evening. I have a step father who, while not this bad, is certainly a loose cannon. Especially towards animals. I really wish I knew a good painter I could recommend. I live in the UK, so animal violence happens by other means (I once saw a friend's white rabbit get kicked to death, we were both in primary school. She was devastated and moved away shortly afterwards). Still, this is a beautiful image of your bond with Michelle, and she lives on through this bond.
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