Rotoscoping is fucking the worst.

Thankfully I seemed to get away with keyframing the mask. But yeahhhh, unfun. The footage was a bit compressed so the edge was not always clear. Possibly a valuable lesson our teacher intended; build enough 3D geometry to act as a mask BEFORE you render, since the camera was tracked.

Lawd what character did she want to buy?

You sound like you know who the publisher is I am talking about? It was a Greek god; http://tigr3ss.deviantart.com/art/Phanes-116166322
I'm a little cautious right now because there are both transsexuals, pretenders (or at least some called transtrenders) and transfetishists about.

Oh that is very interesting deity...and for the record I don't know the publisher, I was just curious on who she was trying to buy.

I'm a little cautious right now because there are both transsexuals, pretenders (or at least some called transtrenders) and transfetishists about.

Maybe because I am still lurking around the trans* community as I just came out a few years ago, but maybe you can explain to me what a transtrender is? Is it a tumblr thing? Because tumblr alludes me.

It was just that you knew it was a she ;)

yes transtrender seems to be a tumblr thing, the word is anyway. It's a spectrum of folks who change gender without body dysphoria, and without seeing transsexualism as a medical condition. Like they officially declare themselves male but make no effort to look like one yet get offended if misgendered. Or they think they can take hormones for a period just to be more androgynous and then stop. Or they take arbitrary genders, to be trendy. And I don't want to judge that as is, being someone who doesn't take gender very seriously myself - but they are playing a dangerous game with their own bodies. And some true transsexuals find them to be a risk to their options for finding honest clinical support. It's possibly a very gradual field, with reminiscences of otherkin, and drama.

I define here true transsexual as something which has set a switch inside a person's head, due to prenatal hormone exposure, so that their brain expects the body to be another sex and doesn't recognize it as its own, hence dysphoria. I think that was the real meaning of gender identity, but it seems it got mudded up into this "feminine personality" or "character" which is what I believed it was until I learned this.

This is what I understand now. But I don't think the picture is that simple.

And some true transsexuals find them to be a risk to their options for finding honest clinical support. It's possibly a very gradual field, with reminiscences of otherkin, and drama.

I can actually understand as someone that lurked around the otherkin community for years and was part of the therian community before I just said 'fuck it' and bounced. I also found a lot of trans* therians for some reason and hearing what you're describing I wonder if there is a weird sort of bleed over. I hear the first part a lot actually. It kinda unnerves me a little bit, because I am non-binary trans man that they are sort of doing a litmus test with people like me at the same time though I can sympathize as a clinically diagnosed autistic and I see the same feeling in regards to self-Dx autistics.

I define here true transsexual as something which has set a switch inside a person's head, due to prenatal hormone exposure, so that their brain expects the body to be another sex and doesn't recognize it as its own,

I have been reading a shit ton of studies about that and regards to fetal testosterone changing brain chemistry and might set the chain in motion for autism and there is some interesting studies I think by IMFAR in regards to large number of autistic being non-cis or trans or somewhere in the LGBTQ quagmire. So I think there is some correlation and I have been keeping an eye on that. Though you're right, nothing ever simple and dysphoria is not as simple or typical for some people. People experience dysphoria in some manner or in different ways. I ignored for years growing up having no idea what it was and assumed it was just me being a fucking R-word. It wasn't until I was educated on it did I understand.

Anyway I understand if this convo is kinda awkward, I know you don't like these terribly personal conversations so I apologize.







v

It's not uncomfortable for me as being terribly personal, it's uncomfortable for me because I feel like a bull in a china shop. So don't answer anything if it's too personal; And you, having read those studies, you might feel someone is transitioning for the wrong reasons, or are being an idiot about gender? I do, and I know some transsexuals feel this way about peers, but I feel bad for having such feelings because I don't feel it's in my place to do so.

I tend to forget that men and women are different, I know it, but I don't take it into account in my reasoning (or as evident, in my character designs). I'm aware of the mixing of characteristics can be enticing (probably what happens for the transfetischist), it used to be, but gradually it's just become where I think nothing of it. A lot of this talk is in the realm of this mind/body or life/matter division which is just not how I see the world, and I'm not that philosophical. My mind lives inside my matter and as such does not disagree with it, because it is its matter too. i don't feel an overwhelming sense of gender inside me, but I know my sex. It then becomes easier for me to accept the body-sex-identity "error" in the brain, because it doesn't ascend into mind-over-matter.

THIS IS NOT TO ASSAULT YOU: I like non-binary trans, but it does raise questions... does this stem from a feeling of androgyny, and do you feel a need to change your body, or your social standing, or..? Or does this come from having the brain's body-sex-identity set to "intersex". Because either the body-sex-identity can be set within a spectrum, or it's not strong enough to bother all human beings (they simply grow into the body they were given), example: an intersexed person born with ambiguous genitalia may feel completely at home in their body (even unrelated to their preferred social gender). So I see evidence both for and against there being a final binary brain sex.

On one end, the driving need of the dysphoria, on the other end casual play and body modification. How'd that get lumped under the same label?

LGBTQ quagmire, heh :3

Well lets see how coherent I am at 9 am with only one cup of coffee.

It is nice that you took the time to respond to me, I thought I just pissed you off you stopped commenting. Haha.
And you, having read those studies, you might feel someone is transitioning for the wrong reasons, or are being an idiot about gender?

I have had moments when I am down right judge-y when regards to kids slapping on certain labels and not realizing the consequences of having those labels. However after a while I stopped caring frankly because it just got so exhausting and draining trying to figure out if they are trans or fucking around. I can always assumed that because they are ok with their body and want to change their social gender that they are just putting on hats because as far as I know they could have dysphoria that comes in cycles or in episodes and they just simply don't like talking about it. You know what I mean? After a while I stop trying to analyze people. It was getting no where for me.


A lot of this talk is in the realm of this mind/body or life/matter division which is just not how I see the world, and I'm not that philosophical. My mind lives inside my matter and as such does not disagree with it, because it is its matter too. i don't feel an overwhelming sense of gender inside me, but I know my sex. It then becomes easier for me to accept the body-sex-identity "error" in the brain, because it doesn't ascend into mind-over-matter.

So let me see if I can understand this (granted it's still early and my brain is still trying to wake up), but I think what I am getting is that gender never been a problem with you because everything synchs up? And it's more tangible to see gender dysphoria as brain error or something not connecting, than something that is part of a clouded mass, like the subconscious where it's rather incorporeal and nebulous.

I think I agree with you, but for me personally it's not all that simple or easy to reason. I think I will explain more a bit down.

THIS IS NOT TO ASSAULT YOU: I like non-binary trans, but it does raise questions... does this stem from a feeling of androgyny, and do you feel a need to change your body, or your social standing, or..? Or does this come from having the brain's body-sex-identity set to "intersex". Because either the body-sex-identity can be set within a spectrum, or it's not strong enough to bother all human beings (they simply grow into the body they were given), example: an intersexed person born with ambiguous genitalia may feel completely at home in their body (even unrelated to their preferred social gender). So I see evidence both for and against there being a final binary brain sex.

On one end, the driving need of the dysphoria, on the other end casual play and body modification. How'd that get lumped under the same label?


When you have a communication delay or disability it's hard to sit there and explain things when you're still trying to find the language to convey it, but I am going to give it a shot. As I stated above my label of 'non-binary' is complicated and I can understand your reasoning why you buy both a single binary brain sex or something that isn't as concrete. I think for me it's more than changing my social standing or feeling androgynous.

The reason I grabbed that label is because I honestly felt isolated in the trans man community. Many of them shared similar stories and had straight relationships and have very linear way explaining their identity. Many of them had butch identities or came from a lesbian background. I honestly shared really none of that. I had male relationships and a few sexual encounters with women, I was really andro most of my life and spent my childhood trying to please my parents so I jumped into every box that they thew me into hoping to god that will 'love' me more. I while I could sympathize with them, I couldn't find that kind of understanding like the rest of my peer group could. It got awkward when I was the only gay man in the group as well. I think what frustrated me was the crippling feeling of not fitting in. I spent most of my life being isolated from everyone else because I am on the spectrum and I kept trying so hard to be a wanted person, that going through that again as trans man among my own peer group was just aggravating. So I grabbed idea of 'non-binary' so I won't have to spend a half-hour explaining why I figured out I was trans at 24. I had no idea what dysphoria was, fuck. I had just enough body awareness to understand what female was growing up. I had no idea how to explain that idea to some folks because many were aware of their dysphoria at an early age while I just was still figuring out why I couldn't make friends or explain why I am sad at their age.

I am sorry if this comes off a little ranty, but being surrounded by gatekeepers and explaining this over and over to some folks gets a bit wearing. I think the short of it is it's probably an error in the brain probably the same error that is started the chain of behaviors that makes me autistic and because of that disorder I had hard time figuring out that I was trans. IDK.

I hope this make sense to you, if you want to talk about this more my email is probably a better tool.
Bardchild[at]gmail.com is where you can reach me Kris, your can just respond here.