This is a double parody. The words come from "The Raccoon Song" by Jan Hobson and Her Bad Review and the music is....well...you know it.

I've been eating all the crud
Down at the dump, the city dump
And breaking into homes is what I do
You'll find me in there stealing all the stuff

I just want to tell you I'm a raccoon
Gotta make you understand

Oh, I got a stripey tail, and I wear a bandit mask
The one that makes me look like The Lone Ranger
Gonna look just like a bear, like a little teddy bear
So you'll never treat me like a stranger

I'm washing fish for so long
I keep on washing. I can't wait to taste it
I work at night until the dawn
And by the dogs I'm really gonna get bit

I just want to tell you I'm a raccoon
Don't tell me you're too blind to see

Oh I got a stripey tail and I wear a bandit mask
The one that makes me look like The Lone Ranger
Gonna look just like a bear, like a little teddy bear
So you'll never treat me like a stranger

Some people think I'm just a Crockett cap
Or a coonskin coat, but what I need to say is
When it comes to all your favorite stuff
You shouldn't trust me 'cause I just might break it

I just want to tell you I'm a raccoon
Gotta make you understand

Oh I got a stripey tail, and I wear a bandit mask
The one that makes me look like The Lone Ranger
Gonna look just like a bear, like a little teddy bear
So you'll never treat me like a stranger

Oh I got a stripey tail, and I wear a bandit mask
The one that makes me look like The Lone Ranger
Gonna look just like a bear, like a little teddy bear
So you'll never treat me like a stranger