I'm not doing so well with my shortening of my review pladge :P But with a movie like thios there is a LOT to talk about that I already don't get to with this review. Maybe I'll get to write an essay about it one day. And personally I think I've done better reviews, but it's hard to create humour about a movie that's essentially flawless.

GO SEE IT IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY! YES, IN 3D TOO! IT'S THE CLOSEST WE'LL EVER GET TO HAVING A CALVIN AND HOBBES MOVIE!

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Life of Pi

****

What do you get when you cross a zebra, a hyena, an orangutan, a boy and a tiger on a boat? A damn good movie that’s what! While the premise of Ang Lee’s newest feature film sounds like the setup for a bad joke (as it just was) or an idea for a children’s book about friendship or some other BS, but it’s taken to the most realistic and fantastical standards. Born and raised in an Indian zoo, Pi, pronounced as in deliciousness and not as in ‘lemon flavoured’ snow cones, is forced to sail to Canada with his family where they will sell the zoo animals and start a new life. Disaster strikes the massive carrier ship and Pi is left stranded on a lifeboat with a royal Bengal tiger to play host with. Pi now has to come of age, survive the terrors, wonders and mysteries of his own ship and the Pacific Ocean so that he may ride the currents to the nearest shore and claim his family’s insurance. Based on the acclaimed novel by Yann Martel, who also lives in my hometown (fun facts!), the novel was added to the long list of unfilmable books. If this year has taught us anything it’s that it pays to be ambitious, salute to you Avengers and Cloud Atlas. Life of Pi is a modern cinematic masterpiece that may not have been the one to revolutionize, but has perfected current narrative and technical standards.

I can easily say with euphoric surprise that there is now a movie that not only rivals but exceeds the visual and 3D bar set by Avatar. This is not an exploitable gimmick like other 3D films but is executed with meticulous effort to create the most stunning and emotionally effecting visuals in cinema in recent years. That’s saying a lot considering that 70% of the film takes place on a lone dingy in the middle of the ocean. Never once do the visuals ever become dull, taking advantage of every emotional value of the ocean, spanning from raging seas to absolute still tranquillity like watching the Dalai Lama off his bipolar meds. The visual effects may not be the absolute best in current cinema but put with Ang’s keen poetic eye they are the most aesthetically pleasing. This is everything from a simple stare in a tiger’s eye to the most magnificent and tragic sinking ship scene since Titanic. There’s even more that I wish I could talk about (music, sets, and pacing) but the bottom line is that even if you don’t care for Pi’s story I would still highly recommend seeing this just for the visuals. Eye candy doesn’t just belong in Playboy or Chris Hemsworth’s chest

Many people may be inclined to just skip over Life of Pi, thinking that it’s just Cast Away mixed with 127 Hours, but that is never a good enough excuse for me. Just because you tried the burger and fries in one restaurant doesn’t mean you should never try them in another. This is the same issue I had with people comparing Avatar with Dances with Wolves. A story only goes so far, what matters is how well it’s told. Life of Pi and Avatar do the same thing; they take a familiar story to their ultimate extreme. So yeah it is like Cast Away except now the island is made into a tiny little lifeboat that’s covered in barnacles of symbolism. Tom Hanks is made younger, naive, funny and memorable and Wilson can now kill and feast upon his starving corpse. Though you don’t want any harm to come towards Pi or Richard Parker (apparently the real reason Spiderman’s dad left was to be in a better movie...and to change his species to a tiger... he’d had issues). Such a level of character is given to not only Pi and his family, but also to the tiger that you really feel that he is going to speak at any moment. Even though only one character can actually speak and exist (of course it’s a CG tiger) there is more chemistry built between the Pi and the tiger in less than two hours than Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattison got to build in five movies and a propagandist relationship. It can really only be described as a god send for cinema. SEGWAY!

“But from what I heard about the movie I don’t want to be stuck in a preachy two hour sermon,” whines the bitter, overly rational critic that doesn’t try before critiquing. While it’s true it doesn’t take the movie more than five minutes to directly mention God, it never preaches its message. There is never any solid evidence that’s given towards God’s existence, only the characters’ personal interpretation of what is happening around them. Therefore Life of Pi will not so much make you believe in God, but make you understand why people turn towards religion/faith. It does this so with its cleverly written story, symbolic narrative and astounding visuals. The entire movie is like eating and incredible gourmet ice cream Sunday. You first get it with stellar presentation that almost makes you not want to touch it and then you dig in and taste all the different homemade flavours of character, dialogue, and story. Then you find that hidden surprise, a brownie oozing with symbolism that makes you savour every rich bite for unending time that even brought a tear to my eyes. I’d trade that over any drunken McDonald’s bag fry summer movies have to offer.