A good fantasy plot. I hate to say, really, but I kind of found Elric to be a more interesting character than Khail, though Khail was a good medium for telling the story about his father and Elric's original journey.

I think I know what you mean, Khail started out to be a good enough character but I didn't focus myself enough when I got halfway through. I wanted him to give the feeling of a brash youth, but I failed there.

Elric oddly enough is a more disciplined hardened soul who's seen much in his time, though he is a main character Khail as supposed to have more of the limelight, wound up going in the wrong direction.

However I am glad you identified with one of them, and that the plot came off well enough, so it wasn't a total failure.

Oh, certainly! Not a failure at all! :D

Me read.

I agree with TakeWalker. Elric was more interesting than Khail. There were a few spelling errors, but due to the fact that the misspelled word ended up still being a word, spell check wouldn't have gotten it.

The story seems to be a bit watered down, so adding some more details about the surrounding would help.
Also, you might want to work abit more on the characters themselves, both primary and secondary.

Otherwise a decent fantasy fic.

Thanks for the crit. Tenza pointed out a few of the errors in our last IM, so I have a good idea on them.

Yea, I know where you're coming from, I didn't write this in my peak sense of mind, and rushed through pretty much everything; worse thing is I know I'm better than this. Still after the contest I might rework it, mainly because I'm not satisfied with my performance.

I've done that before. Pt 7 was originally written in an email and was going to be sent to Al when my login time expired. So I rewrote it this time with about 40% of it's original content gone, because I was in a hurry to get something to him that night to make up for him waiting so long. Thankfully, I found my original write up had been saved automatically, so I sent that to him. It made the world of a difference.

Well written Gru... I hope you win.

*gives him a large hug....

V.

Aw thanks Vixyy, but really this isn't up to my par.

You shoud see  DarknessRisen's. It blew the socks off of me.

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/937160/ (link if you want to read it.)

*gives him a hug.... right now hun, I'm still playing catch up so I'll decline the other read. I'm on nights now - January I'll have my own shift - then peace and quiet.

*Hugs...

V.

Somehow, I just keep embarrassing myself.

And I reckon this is the last piece of prose I have not yet read from your gallery. And now I read this as well. Very good little piece, I have to say, short but full of action. Simple plot, but a very entertaining one, I enjoyed reading this. The style is good, fantasy and action, but not too much description of gory details. The characters are interesting, the dialog is good. Great little piece, I enjoyed reading this. Good work.