(Warning: there is no cursing, but the whole song's about sex!)

Hey-o everybody! Here's a new little ditty that actually sounds halfway decent!

I got the idea for this song after looking at the title of a book containing the pin-up art of Dave Stevens entitled "Vamps and Vixens." I thought to myself, "just how many animal words are there for describing sexy women?" And eventually this song came into existence.

It's such a weird mix of harmonizing... I don't know what genre to place it in. It's like a mix of lounge music, gospel, and a little broadway, too. BTW, all the voices and singing is ME. A very frustrated, and burnt out me, I'm sure you can imagine.

I still feel there's some things that need to be worked out in the second parts of the verses singing about the "My little bondage pony," and the "Mile high flying squirrel," but I am tired of trying to fix it, and am going out of my mind enough as it is.

And I am still single! Imagine that! I actually am not as driven as my character in the song, FYI, but I don't find myself refusing the company of a beautiful woman, neither! ;)

Here's the lyrics!

Now cheetahs are endangerred--
There's not many of us left-- it gets me wound.
But I'm not gonna dance all by myself
When there's plenty of tail to chase around!

There's plenty of fish out in the ocean.
So many differrent flavors to try!
"Nothing ventured, nothing gained's" the slogan I'm gonna--
Sew these wild oats 'til there's none to supply!

(chorus)
Chicks and Vixens!
Minks and Kittens!
Temptress, Mistress, Huntress-- YEOW!
I pulled a couple crazy stunts
To get there, at least once.
I wonder what's in store for me now?

(End chorus)

Now there was this one sexy filly
Ooh, I want to ride that pony!
Now I'm no ragind stallion-- she thought it silly.
But a stud never came, and the night got lonely!

We went and set her barn a-fire!
From rollin' around in the hay.
I let her get to hold the rains and
Did what I was told, until she screamed, "Neigh!"

(Chorus goes here)

Now one time while flying first class...
Sat next to this woman-- she was a little squirrely!
Got to talking to her, and made a pass...
She got bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, her smile white and pearly!

"Ladies and Gentlemen,

We're experiencing some turbulence," The captain explains
We're occupied before the door shuts.
It was she was trying to save up for all winter
By helping me help her bury my nuts!

(More Chorus-y goodness)

Then one day, I saw a miracle!
This racy cheetah appeared-- What a vision!
Everything was going well, so I though I might--
"Excuse me!"
But she cut me off in mid-proposition

"I'm so sorry, but I'm already married" (NOOOOO!!!)
They were the most painful words of my entire life.
"Cheer up spot, maybe the three of us could get together..." (Uh, no thanks, uh...)
"But I'll have to ask if it's okay with my-- WIFE!"

(Final Chprus:)

Ohhhhhhh--

Chicks and vixens!
Minks and kittens!
It's just two sexy cheetahs for this cat now!
I'm not going to miss the past,
With two girls that are pretty fast!
Oh I wonder what's in store,
Yes I wonder what's in store
Oh I wonder what's in store for me now!?

Rowr!