Corrections by :  Amaya-Murahashi
Original Artist  Trooper036
I am offering $2.50 Critiques where I make one of these draw overs. Depending on the type of corrections needed depends on how much of the characters I'll redraw. With the draw over comes a verbal critique explaining why I drew what I did over the piece.


The verbal explanation is below:

What is working:

The proportions are believable. The style has appeal. There is more then basic stoic emotion which is over done/used in artwork. There’s a decent understanding for folds in cloth. Hair simplification is believable.

Style suggestions:

Sharper edging in the line work. There are areas where I can see you thought the form through, but the roundness in areas makes them look fudged or undefined. Doing finer separations on the hair would help create motion. In an animation situation the current style would be ideal, but as a one shot illustration over simplification is unnecessary. When it comes to line thickness, try to keep it thicker around edges, over rounded areas, in corners ect. Thinner lines do best at the edges of hair, in transition before and after a bump or rounded areas. Not an issue in this picture but a trick to create depth in linework when you’re doing extreme perspective is the closer it is the thicker the lines, the more farther away the thinner the lines.


Corrections:

You come off to have a very good basic understanding of anatomy, that what you draw is believable, and when there are mistakes it is not that obvious to an untrained eye, because you clearly know where the muscle groups are, basic shaping, how the body can move. Where the flaw comes in is in proportion sizing and the need for more sure definition of of muscle groups. When you are doing a cartoon style it is ok to not follow the 8 heads principle very strictly, however where you bend the rule once you must bend the rule through out. Where I strictly saw issues in proportioning was in the limbs. Some limbs would be longer then the other. For the sake of simplicity I corrected this under the assumption that you would be using a strict 8 heads proportion system. In (2) I’ve shown the size of the head, and showed how you’d interpret them in measuring the legs. in (1) I’ve shown how I go about figuring out limb length from a bent lim to help with consistency, and showing also where the elbows should lin up in length. Your original elbows were to high and forearm on the characters left to short. It should be a little longer then what I drew, but in order to maintain the fighting scene I kept it a little bit short. I’m sure you’ve been familiarized with the 8 heads system but in the event you need it here is an example as well as other head proportion/styles to look at.


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