Interesting but somehow boring at times. Like there was no tension. If one of them was at one point in danger of floating off into the sky and they had to hurry it would've been a little more tense.

First of all, constructive criticism. Thank you.

Second of all, yes, you're completely right. I rushed this one out the door because I felt pressured that I had to write SOMETHING, and this one just sort of rambled on and on. It could have been half as long and could have been better. On the subject of tension - if you want to get to a super-technical micro-kinkular level, I believe I gravitate more towards the "bondage" aspect of inflation; of being rendered completely helpless, and essentially being trapped in your own body. While you are in this state, you are helpless to both physical dangers like popping and floating away but also psychological dangers such as embarassment and humiliation. While every chapter plays off the embarrassment factor to varying effects, I wanted to make that the focus of this chapter. You're inflating yourself in a safe and controlled environment, but you're doing it for your first time, so it's an unfamiliar, alien experience, and on top of that, you're doing it in front of all your friends. It's sort of like doing a performance in your underwear or something. It's easier to do in front of strangers than it is to do in front of your family and loved ones, because you know that your friends and loved ones will never forget it.
Also, I was playing off of the central theme of this series, that these things happen to everyone, and sooner or later they will happen to you. Hearing about it happening is one thing, seeing it happen is another, seeing it happen to a friend is another thing entirely, and having it happen to yourself is a whole different ball game. You would probably be in denial about what was hapening right up till it's too late - and what worse time and place for this to happen in than in front of your friends?

Anyway. Sorry for the wall of text.

*slams into the wall of text*
HOLY CRAP!
That's a lot of response for little old me.
Thanks for all the thought, I see where you're coming from with this now.

But anyways, thank you for liking the story regardless!

Your welcome. Keep writing them and I'll keep liking them.

I read it this morning and honestly I wasn't quite sure what to comment until about now without just repeating myself., so finally I decided to try this whole constructive criticism thing for myself.

Still good as always, and I like how that with every addition to this series there's more revealed about the world around it. However, I do have to admit this one may have dragged a little bit much, as it was quite long for one of the simpler concepts of the series so far. Certain ideas give much more to write about than others, while ideas like this one are much simpler and don't need to be quite as long.

I can't say much about the dialogue being natural or not, though it was definitely quite entertaining. The world affected by the T.O.O.N. is still delightfully maniacal, without really becoming mean-spirited and staying very fun to always peer into. I love how it's both normal and yet still strange to everyone, a world coming off of a drastic change and no one can quite say for sure how they feel about it yet.

Anyway, on a broader level of your writing, you always write fun and distinct characters. I think it would be interesting to see some of them return in another story from time to time, though this is more of a personal point as I just like to follow a few familiar faces.

Anyway, sorry for the massive comment, and I love the work as always!

Actually, I have a sequel lined up for every single chapter I've written so far! I felt like I should put some more "original" chapters out there before getting into them, but at this point, I think there's tons of possibilities with what I've already established.

Thanks for the support though!

That was a very good story.