You have a very unique writing style, amico! Reading your story is almost like watching a TV show - it's very action oriented. You're also a natural at description; very nice visual elements in this story.

However, as some friendly advice, I'd say that you need to include a bit more explanation. Sometimes the reader feels a bit lost with all the sudden changes of scenery and many different characters. You don't have to tell us exactly what's going on, just help us along a little, know what I mean?

But all in all, it's very good, amico! <3