* - These are pretty much Hush Puppies on steroids, done two ways :P

From: http://www.thegalleygourmet.net/201.....shpuppies.html

Hush Puppies - makes about 2 1/2 dozen

* tweaks / optional

1 2/3 cups cornmeal, finely ground
1/3 cup gluten-free flour (calls for regular all-purpose originally)
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 Tablespoon granulated sugar
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
3/4 teaspoon kosher salt
1/8 teaspoon ground cayenne pepper, or more to taste (optional)
* 1/8 teaspoon paprika
* 1/2 teaspoon cumin
2 extra large eggs, lightly beaten
* 2-3 cloves roasted garlic, chopped
* chopped up clams (had them leftover from a clambake)
* 2 large jalapenos, seeded and deveined, chopped
(actually, I used 6 roasted ones - Three roasted and chopped jalapenos went into the poppers, and the other three went into a roasted jalapeno mayo which I will come to next)
* 1/2 cup to 3/4 cup sharp cheddar, in a pre-shredded bag
* 5-6 slices cooked chopped BACON
* 1 tsp lemon zest
1 cup buttermilk
2 green onions, trimmed and finely chopped
Vegetable oil for frying (I actually used a mixed oil - canola oil mixed with vegetable oil)
Tabasco to serve

In a large bowl, whisk together the cornmeal, flour, baking powder, baking soda, sugar, pepper, salt, and cayenne.  Add the eggs, buttermilk, and green onion. Then add the shredded cheese, and the chopped up BACON which has already been fried. (You could always put in just a teaspoon of bacon oil in this as well....*dies*) Whisk to combine.  Allow the mixture to rest in the refrigerator for 5 minutes. You can always put the clams in a separate bowl, then halve the mixture - one with clams, one without.

In a heavy bottom fry pot, add 1 1/2 inches of oil and heat to 365º F.

Using a 1-ounce ice cream scoop (about 2 tablespoons), gently drop the batter into the hot oil.  Fry several hushpuppies at a time without overcrowding, turning them with a slotted spoon until golden brown on both sides, about 1 1/2 to 2 minutes total.  Then you can just put them on a paper towel to drain the excess oil, and shake on a bit extra paprika and/or chile powder. just be careful when you fry in deep hot oil folks, it'll still spatter off and on!

Transfer to a wire rack set over a rimmed baking sheet and keep warm in a 200° F oven. Repeat with the remaining batter, maintaining oil temperature.  
Serve immediately with hot sauce.

Enjoy!

So basically, I did one WITH the chopped clams, and one without. (So if you are allergic to shellfish, you dont have to add the clams in at all!) As for the eggs and buttermilk- to substitute, I guess you -could- just use an egg replacer instead (or egg whites at most), but, I dont think unsweetened applesauce would work here. Soy milk instead of buttermilk might do the trick (for lactose intolerant), but I would lean more to the "Lactaid" to be honest....also, soy cheese as well.

THERE IS NO SUBSTITUTE FOR BACON. PERIOD. :P

(Fine...ok...you can use the soy bacon bits- but again, make sure you put those in at the end ! Or if you're leery about that, just a drop or two of liquid smoke would work just as well.)

Then, onto the KICKASS ROASTED JALAPENO MAYO !