Just... don't even ask what sparked the idea of doing this. I just thought of it and it HAD to be done. I know the poem format's irregular; that was intentional. In fact, I'd almost be more willing to label this "prose with rhymes" but that's not really acceptable.

I have no idea who these characters are, but they're still © Me. Actually, you know what? Scratch that; you can use them if you want. Just give credit to me and tell me what the heck you're doing with them.