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My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic - Horse Of A Different C
In the third season opener, (one can dream) Lauren arrives in Ponyville to visit Pen Pal Twilight Sparkle. Hoping the unicorn can help her solve her problems, she arrives at the train station with only her saddlebags. However, she is not the only new arrival to Ponyville that day...
Notes: When deciding on the story, I opted against reimagining the series or interpreting it in my own way, other than to add a few OC ponies mostly in cameos. While often times I delight in reinventing concepts, I thought here it was more suitable to write a plot that could be part of the show itself, and hopefully it isn't too bad. I rarely write fanfiction, not only due to the inherent issues that can come with it (mary sue, making sure every character is true to the show) etc, but for my own reasons. Enough folks requested this so that it became worth my time. Enjoy!
P.S. Due to my desire to use the mane six, cameos in general were minor, though still, thanks to those that I did use.
CRITIQUE IS WELCOME. KEEP IT CONSTRUCTIVE, I want to learn, not just be seeing how much you think I messed anything up.
Starring:
Lauren Pony - http://www.furaffinity.net/view/7773388/
Catmint - http://www.furaffinity.net/view/6027150/
Character belongs to
animecat
Twilight Sparkle
Fluttershy
Applejack
Rarity
Pinkie Pie
Rainbow Dash
Supporting/Cameos
Big MacIntosh
Apple Bloom
Diamond Tiara
Marbles - http://www.furaffinity.net/view/7789536/
Character belongs to
MarblesBravetail
Chocolate Delight - http://www.furaffinity.net/view/8172442/
Character belongs to
chocolatevixen
Spike
Ditzy Doo
Notes: When deciding on the story, I opted against reimagining the series or interpreting it in my own way, other than to add a few OC ponies mostly in cameos. While often times I delight in reinventing concepts, I thought here it was more suitable to write a plot that could be part of the show itself, and hopefully it isn't too bad. I rarely write fanfiction, not only due to the inherent issues that can come with it (mary sue, making sure every character is true to the show) etc, but for my own reasons. Enough folks requested this so that it became worth my time. Enjoy!
P.S. Due to my desire to use the mane six, cameos in general were minor, though still, thanks to those that I did use.
CRITIQUE IS WELCOME. KEEP IT CONSTRUCTIVE, I want to learn, not just be seeing how much you think I messed anything up.
Starring:
Lauren Pony - http://www.furaffinity.net/view/7773388/
Catmint - http://www.furaffinity.net/view/6027150/
Character belongs to
animecat Twilight Sparkle
Fluttershy
Applejack
Rarity
Pinkie Pie
Rainbow Dash
Supporting/Cameos
Big MacIntosh
Apple Bloom
Diamond Tiara
Marbles - http://www.furaffinity.net/view/7789536/
Character belongs to
MarblesBravetailChocolate Delight - http://www.furaffinity.net/view/8172442/
Character belongs to
chocolatevixenSpike
Ditzy Doo
Category Story / My Little Pony / Brony
Species Zebra
Size 120 x 120px
File Size 110.5 kB
Okay, that was adorable! I really enjoyed that, and you managed to stay true to all the characters!
Though just as an FYI, there are some minor errors, mostly with changing the narrative (3rd person vs 1st person). It reads really well though! Now I have the urge to draw giant shadowy monsters!
Though just as an FYI, there are some minor errors, mostly with changing the narrative (3rd person vs 1st person). It reads really well though! Now I have the urge to draw giant shadowy monsters!
Could you see it as an episode of the series? :) I tried to stick as close to the feel of the series as possible, and not have Lauren seem too out of place or something. I was a little worried about it seeming too much like a self insertion fic, of which is usually eh, but I tried not to have my character be too 'awesome'.
Applejack's dialogue was probably the easiest to write, she's pretty easy to match her accent. :)
Whoops, I know at least twice I caught myself slipping into first, which is odd because generally I don't like doing first person and avoid it, but I have been reading a book today that is in first present which is a bit odd for me, but it's a pretty good book.
Hehe. :) Up to you! ;)
Applejack's dialogue was probably the easiest to write, she's pretty easy to match her accent. :)
Whoops, I know at least twice I caught myself slipping into first, which is odd because generally I don't like doing first person and avoid it, but I have been reading a book today that is in first present which is a bit odd for me, but it's a pretty good book.
Hehe. :) Up to you! ;)
Well, I don't think it was much more extreme than the return of Discord or Nightmare Moon, both episodes which were more 'serious' than the general tone of the show, of course that was my target anyway. I wanted to try to do a little more than just a random silly adventure, but not so serious that it was unrealistic.
As far as Catmint, I kind of gleaned her purrsonality from the reference sheet pic, and I've always been fairly good at keeping characters 'in character' as long as I have a sufficiently expressive pic of them. :)
As far as Catmint, I kind of gleaned her purrsonality from the reference sheet pic, and I've always been fairly good at keeping characters 'in character' as long as I have a sufficiently expressive pic of them. :)
If I hadn't wanted to use the main six I probably would've had more than three cameos, but I worked with what I had and the story required. As it was it was tough with such a large group of characters, but I tried to give at least each one of the characters a few lines, a scene where I could. :)
Sorry it took me forever to read this, work has been eating alot of my time lately. This is a wonerful Lauren and I love you for including me, even though I was bait. :p I would not mind future stories with us together again and also Catmint. We make a great trio. hehe
Oh yeah, I've been a big MLP fan for years. I have a ton of G3 ponies, as well as some G1s (and of course some of the current run). In fact the icon I use for my stories is my pony's cuite mark.
Here's a couple pics of her, both old and new style: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/5465506/ http://www.furaffinity.net/view/7083268/
Here's a couple pics of her, both old and new style: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/5465506/ http://www.furaffinity.net/view/7083268/
As for suggestions, mostly it's just that the mystery isn't that fair. You make a point in the story that the necklace was growing with each attack, but that's not something that's actually in the story. I wouldn't mind having some passing comments about her owning a cat as well. Just enough that you can piece it together based on what's in the story.
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