FA+
Shop
662 submissions
Third page, took me about twice the time of the other two to complete, but I feel satisfied with the result... somehow.
-rant- I could work on a piece of crappy art for hours, while to just write "it's ok" or "it sucks" or "it could be better" takes about five seconds, and it would be greatly appreciated. Also, english is not my mother lenguage, so if you notice any grammar error please point it out, it helps me improve my writing.
[<< first] [< previous] [next >] [last >>]
-rant- I could work on a piece of crappy art for hours, while to just write "it's ok" or "it sucks" or "it could be better" takes about five seconds, and it would be greatly appreciated. Also, english is not my mother lenguage, so if you notice any grammar error please point it out, it helps me improve my writing.
[<< first] [< previous] [next >] [last >>]
Category Artwork (Traditional) / Comics
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 877 x 624px
File Size 358.2 kB
Listed in Folders
The layout confused me, as comics (in the US and this part of Europe, as far as I know) tend to read from left to right first, up to down second.
(with further inspection, I'm seeing an arrow under the first panel, but it'd awfully small, and I think the artist should make the comics adapted to the reader, rather then expect readers to work around their habits)
(Unless you have a strong reason to do so, of course)
(What I'm saying between brackets is more ranting than something really directed at you)
On pages 2 and 6, instead of "at ill ease" it should read "ill at ease".
Most people would just say they "make people uneasy", I think.
Also, on page 4, it shouldn't be "to relate with", but "to relate to".
Other than that, it looks pretty good to me, though I might have missed things due to being an unwashed uncultured french-speaking person. Seeing the average level of the English employed on the internet (even by native speakers), I think you're doing grrrreat.
(I think the tone of this comment is a bit more critical than intended, so I'll just put a few smileys to make it closer to what I wanted :) )
(with further inspection, I'm seeing an arrow under the first panel, but it'd awfully small, and I think the artist should make the comics adapted to the reader, rather then expect readers to work around their habits)
(Unless you have a strong reason to do so, of course)
(What I'm saying between brackets is more ranting than something really directed at you)
On pages 2 and 6, instead of "at ill ease" it should read "ill at ease".
Most people would just say they "make people uneasy", I think.
Also, on page 4, it shouldn't be "to relate with", but "to relate to".
Other than that, it looks pretty good to me, though I might have missed things due to being an unwashed uncultured french-speaking person. Seeing the average level of the English employed on the internet (even by native speakers), I think you're doing grrrreat.
(I think the tone of this comment is a bit more critical than intended, so I'll just put a few smileys to make it closer to what I wanted :) )
Thank you for your comment, it does my heart good to see that there's still someone who gives constructive comments ^_^
I must confess that I always had problems with the layout, especially with narrative ones, tihs is because I'm used to draw action comics; for this reason finding a layout for some parts of this comic had been quite hellish. Another major flaw of mine is that, never having attended any comic school, I never got to learn how to plan a storyboard, and for this reason I mostly make everything up as I go, often finding myself in situations such as "oh hell, I don't know how to put down this sequence!" or "Damn, look at all this blank space!". Still I'm working on this (admittedly without much success so far).
Reguarding this very page, upon finishing it I realized that it was not easly read, so I began adding arrows (and numbers: if you really stare on the borders of the page you should be able to spot some of them). Afterwards I showed it -in the present state- to a friend who said that, in his opinion, it was ok, so I tried posting it on a forum. Since no-one pointed out that it was difficult to read I decided to submit the page as it was here. (I wasn't very convinced still).
I must also say that this comic had been born as a simple image which later evolved in its present form, and this is the reason why it's ...mhhh... "horizontal" (gah words are failing me...) I've never done anything like this before :)
Thanks for the grammar tips ^_^
And don't worry I don't think you missed anything, I'm an antisocial unaccultered italian-speaking person, and by drawing this I didn't mean to transmit any subtle message, I simply wanted to say that not everyone is good at creating relationships, and I know this for experience. By the way I hate subtle messages, I never seem to be able to get them X|
...I'm realizing that this reply may sound "apologetically haughty", this is not my intenction, I really appreciate your comment, I simply wanted to explain the reason why I made some choices :)
I'm glad you appreciated the comic, thanks again for the comment and the tips ^_^
I must confess that I always had problems with the layout, especially with narrative ones, tihs is because I'm used to draw action comics; for this reason finding a layout for some parts of this comic had been quite hellish. Another major flaw of mine is that, never having attended any comic school, I never got to learn how to plan a storyboard, and for this reason I mostly make everything up as I go, often finding myself in situations such as "oh hell, I don't know how to put down this sequence!" or "Damn, look at all this blank space!". Still I'm working on this (admittedly without much success so far).
Reguarding this very page, upon finishing it I realized that it was not easly read, so I began adding arrows (and numbers: if you really stare on the borders of the page you should be able to spot some of them). Afterwards I showed it -in the present state- to a friend who said that, in his opinion, it was ok, so I tried posting it on a forum. Since no-one pointed out that it was difficult to read I decided to submit the page as it was here. (I wasn't very convinced still).
I must also say that this comic had been born as a simple image which later evolved in its present form, and this is the reason why it's ...mhhh... "horizontal" (gah words are failing me...) I've never done anything like this before :)
Thanks for the grammar tips ^_^
And don't worry I don't think you missed anything, I'm an antisocial unaccultered italian-speaking person, and by drawing this I didn't mean to transmit any subtle message, I simply wanted to say that not everyone is good at creating relationships, and I know this for experience. By the way I hate subtle messages, I never seem to be able to get them X|
...I'm realizing that this reply may sound "apologetically haughty", this is not my intenction, I really appreciate your comment, I simply wanted to explain the reason why I made some choices :)
I'm glad you appreciated the comic, thanks again for the comment and the tips ^_^
Comments