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Story / Fat Furs
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Here it is! And about the shortest gap between my postings... Well, ever :3
(oops, posted it as part 5 by accident :3)
Please comment, I like criticism n stuff :)
Previous Chapter: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/8036066/
Next Chapter: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10944497/
(oops, posted it as part 5 by accident :3)
Please comment, I like criticism n stuff :)
Previous Chapter: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/8036066/
Next Chapter: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10944497/
Category Story / Fat Furs
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 120 x 101px
File Size 20 kB
Listed in Folders
Heh, I actually like the mayor, and the fact that Katal respects him enough not to kill him. I look forward to more interaction between them.
I would have liked more physical description for Jared though, all we know at this point is that he has a tail, swively ears, and fur at the back of his head. What manner of beast folk is he?
I would have liked more physical description for Jared though, all we know at this point is that he has a tail, swively ears, and fur at the back of his head. What manner of beast folk is he?
I figured so. But as a suggestion, you might want to put your descriptions in earlier, since the character has already had a fair amount of interaction with the baker. As readers, we want to imagine the scene, but without a general overall description of what the character looks like, the actions and thoughts of the character get attributed to an amorphous blank spot (with ears and a tail) that we can't see.
I really don't like it when authors immediately describe a character though, I didn't think there was any need for it, especially when that part of the story was from his point of view :P
George R. R. Martin never does instantaneous descriptions, and I'm glad, it makes things boring :3
George R. R. Martin never does instantaneous descriptions, and I'm glad, it makes things boring :3
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