A response to  Gen's 34 hour comic "What you cannot have" as seen from the eyes of the scribe from the arena.

Notes: ~*~ denotes a passage of time, break in the story.

this is a companion piece to Genesis's "what you can't have" which is advertised here: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/6665918/

Marked "mature" for mentions of character death and blood. *edit* due to a lot of requests from users without accounts... and since their is no "adult" content I am marking it general so all can view.

Story text featured below:

The midday sun baked down on the white washed arena as I made my way across the stone floor, padding along the rows of benches pushed against the upper edge. Below me in the main arena two fighters sparred against each other using poles, swinging the wooden staffs through the air and trying to force each other to yield. One of the fighters had the apparent upper hand at the moment, weaving closer to her opponent with every swipe and searching for an opening. As I slide down the steps surrounding the central path towards the gladiators doors, I watched the smaller female fighter slide in against the larger male wolf and plunge her knee upwards into his groin, forcing the wolf to drop his staff and double over in pain, collapsing to the ground. I gave a small chuckle, watching Bloodstrype roll around on the ground in pain as I slide into the waiting room, unrolling the scroll strapped to my waist and marking down Silver's first win of the day.

For the last ten years I had walked these paths, down and back from the base of the arena to the small platform along the top of the viewers rows where I was "stationed". Today was the same as any other day, with the usual round up of non-lethal battles of skill displayed for the upper and lower classes. I watched as Silver moved out of the arena ahead of the still wobbling Bloodstrype and moved aside as she clambered back into the arena's stone walkway, leaving the dusty combat field behind her. While I couldn't necessarily call myself the woman's friend, we were at least cordial to each other as we moved, and I made sure to nod to her as she began to walk towards her changing room, rolling the scroll I had marked with her results slowly up. I overheard two of the regular workers for the arena informing Silver that once again Barius had waited for her to finish her fight. This had become a regular occurrence over the past few months, with the black wolf appearing more regularly as time passed. By now I had simply forgotten a time when the statesman wasn't hanging around the arena after hours, and I made sure to keep my eyes downcast from his as I passed by a few moments later. I did notice with some satisfaction however that Silver made the older politician wait a good deal longer than usual.

Silver's battle had been the last on the docket for the evening, and so as Silver and Barius left the arena I climbed the stairwell up into the upper section of the large complex, passing into the inner hallways and slowly winding my way towards the inner compartment I had secured several years ago as my own apartment. At first the local bureaucrats had balked at having a "free" servant living within the walls of the arena, however after serving my post faithfully for three years they had finally relented, and I had made the small room my own sanctuary. As I entered the cool room, I made sure to twist the key back into the lock, sealing the room behind me as I walked into my own personal space. Most of the workers here in the arena would think the apartment was barely used, with no real ornate furniture or decorations to mark the seven years I had lived here. However in reality this was all very purposeful, as I had never grown accustomed to having my own possessions, and most of all since I wanted to be sure of a quick escape if something ever happened... of course that was because of my own... habits.

I slide the scroll containing the day's results, the betting tables from the previous morning and the record of what money had changed hands after the fight into a small holder on the simple table in the center of the room. Besides the scroll tray, the only other ornaments on the table was a cold blue saucer made of a curious lustrous metal, and a knife that was suspended in the center of the bowl, with its sharpened tip piercing an indention in the bowls center. This bowl and blade were the one personal adornment I had ever owned, and they came from far beyond the walls of the city, having traveled bundled in the few scrapes of clothing I had taken after leaving my home town far to the south. Beyond my freedom, the small shrine was the only thing I had ever "earned" and even that wasn't exactly a true term. I had earned the bowl and blade... through hard work and some brave exploring after earning my freedom from the slavery my father had forced upon me. However you certainly couldn't say I had purchased either item, and I was probably one of only three people for seventy miles at least who knew the bowls true purpose. I passed my hand briefly over the handle of the shining blade, letting my clawed fingers caress the cold metal slowly, mapping the grooves of the stylized hilt. I made sure however as I stroked the shining surface to keep my mind clear of desires or wishes, knowing all too well what could happen if I let my mind wander around the blade. Finally I withdrew my hand and padded over to the small cabinet beside my bed, where I tended to set aside whatever food I would have before sleep overtook me. It had once again been a rather uneventful day at the arena.

~*~

The days seemed to run together as I worked alongside Silver, Bloodstrype, Ifsacat and Abel in the arena. I had managed to speak more with Silver on occasion, and while she still kept a great deal of a guard up when not working slowly but surely I felt closer to the older woman. Ifsacat was another matter, as I hadn't had the chance to work closely with him over the course of my assignments, and by this point I hardly knew the young gladiator. However another oddity had cropped up over time, with Barius and Silver seeming to grow closer, the young vixen seeming to allow the older wolf more and more of her time. I didn't necessarily see this as a good thing, as I didn't trust any of the bureaucrats or "citizens" further then I could challenge them. As a low caste member of the arena I was strictly ignored whenever the old wolf stalked the halls of the arena, and several times I got the distinct impression that he was trying to take up as much space as possible, forcing me to travel around his massive bulk. Normally this might be a problem, however my small stature made it a bit easier to squirm through the tightly packed halls.

Once or twice over the past week or so I had sworn I caught Barius eyeing either myself or one of the other lower workers with narrowed eyes, and the odd sensation raised the fur along my neck, forcing my tail and folded ears to flatten against my frame. I vowed to keep my eye on the old senator in the future, not trusting the way he eyed any of the arena's crew... especially Silver. Some nights I swear when he comes down to "greet" her his eyes could be best described as predatory or calculating.

~*~

Today brought a devastating event to the arena, with what seems to be life altering repercussions. I was in the upper bleachers looking over the schedule when Abel announced that a last minute "substitution" had come in. This was usually reserved for when one of the nobles had donated someone or something for the gladiators to slaughter in the arena's pit. Today was no different, as the emperor himself had sent the southland traitor Nethrite to fight for his freedom. The problem this caused however was that none of the gladiators that would usually take on the challenge could be spared for the battle, and the rules of the arena forbade Silver from competing in armed gladiator combat against a criminal. I was considering having Nethrite boarded for the night in one of the lower preparation rooms when Ifsacat spoke up and volunteered.

As ifsacat and Nethrite stalked onto the field, bearing armor and bladed staffs I felt a small quiver of worry for the young gladiator. While it was true that criminals rarely managed to defeat gladiators in combat, it was also true that Nethrite was a well trained soldier... who had already proven difficult to capture once. I didn't voice my fears however, knowing that my place was to observe the battle and record what happened, and also knowing that in many ways it could mean my own life if I tried to stop the young cat. As the two gladiators circled each other I padded my way hurriedly to the upper balcony, spreading the scroll I bore out across one of the tables stored there for recording purposes.

The first few slashes of the combatants weapons seemed to be testing blows, with neither fighter wanting to overstep themselves and leave an opening for their opponent. As I watched, Ifsacat made a large sweeping strike with his spear, slashing the blade out towards the condemned criminals staff. Nethrite managed to dodge the blow at the last moment... and then seemed to... cower in the dirt before Ifsacat. The crowd cheered as this happened but my eyes narrowed as I watched the fight taking place below me, the uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach growing. Ifsa lowered his weapon as he stalked forward, clearly moving in for the kill, and as the young gladiator moved, Nethrite sprang his trap, sweeping his staff up in a long reaching one handed slash, catching the edge of Ifsa's armor and pushing the cat to the ground along with leaving a sharp gash along the gladiator's neck.

I wasn't the only one who hissed through their teeth as we saw Ifsa go down onto one knee, and the traitor Nethrite raise up to stalk over him. Several voices were screaming in the lowest benches, where the high class citizens would gather, and I could clearly see Barius's shocked face as Nethrite moved forwards. Silver was standing nearby the senator, and as the three of us watched on I wished I could afford to close my eyes, not wanting to see the young warrior cut down to such a ruse. However I knew my place in the arena, and I was forced to continue writing the events as Nethrite's staff swept downwards and bit into the back of Ifsa's neck, severing the cord of his life.

I felt sick as I watched Nethrite march proudly from the arena's dusty, now blood splattered floor, and even worse as I watched Usaden approach from beneath the arena's arched entrance, padding towards the body of the fallen warrior. The priest would read the rites of blessing and then escort Ifsacat's corpse down to the bowels of the arena for "disposal", and as I watched the priests ever smiling face my stomach churned more, forcing me to flee the upper balcony and stumble down into the arena's halls. Within minutes I found myself back into my personal chamber, and forced onto the cold stone floor as I retched into the rooms chamber pot, feeling the nausea overtake my small frame.

~*~

It was some time later that I forced my eyes to open, the cold night air kissing across my fur told me that I was no longer in my chamber, and the cold metal beneath my paw told me that I had somehow managed to grasp the blade from its usual place of rest. I was disoriented as I scanned the dirty alleyway I found myself in, the smell of blood strong in my sensitive nostrils. The stone pavement beneath my body was slick with the thick viscous fluid, and the cold metal of the dagger tried to slide from my grasp as I pushed myself up onto one knee. I couldn't recognize what part of the city's circular roads I had found myself in, the nights sky obscured by clouds and my own sense of direction completely destroyed. Around me there was obvious evidence of a struggle, even beyond my soaked robes, now stained a dark red instead of their usual murky blue color. I shuddered hard as I scanned the nearby area for any sign of the inevitable corpse that would show what had happened.

It took me a few minutes before I could fully convince myself that no corpse would spring out at me suddenly, and I shuddered again as I pushed the cold metal of the dagger back under my robes and slide it into the crease of my belt. I understood what must have happened... what had to have happened if I found myself like this, and especially with the blade clasped in my blood soaked claws.... but I couldn't for the life of me remember making the wish or performing the ritual. Whatever I had desired must have been something for someone else however, as I could still think and feel, and I turned myself slowly in the grimy blood splattered alley until I saw the familiar bulk of the arena far to the west. If I was extremely lucky I could manage to get back inside the arena before anyone caught me in this mess.

~*~

Nethrite is dead... the word had come in last night that some unknown assailant had pulled him down somewhere in the city and taken his life with his claws. I had seen no other report of a death in the city, however I knew that I wasn't responsible for Nethrite's death. I had clearly used the dagger to commit whatever act I had done, as the blood splatters along my robes (which were now buried deep underneath the arena in the bowels of the place, alongside the nameless gladiators of the past.... it had been hard to pass Ifsa's body by to hide them... but it had to be done,) and along the blade clearly proved.

I was jumpy for several days after the death of Nethrite, however no one ever tried to pin the murder on the small feline scribe... nor any other corpse that ever dredged itself up in the intervening weeks. This was one of the best aspects of appearing small and adorable... I was seldom the first one anyone would suspect, and the guards only ever came to me when they wanted to place bets on the next day's fights. When I returned on that day to my apartment my suspicion about what had happened was confirmed, the blue metal bowl having a small sheen of clotted red splattered across the shallow basin.

~*~

Over the past few weeks I watched Barius and Silver grow closer and closer. It was clear that the two were starting an affair, and I wished the gladiator the best. Before one of their dates I even managed to slip Silver a small bundle of flowers made up into a hair adornment. It was a simple present but I hope she understood it was in good faith and friendship. I usually found myself tongue tied around the older vixen.

Another development that had occurred over the past few weeks was the commission of a statue to Ifsa in front of the arena's main archway. Barius had claimed he had done it for the entire arena but I couldn't help but notice how his eyes rested on Silver as he spoke, and it gave me an odd feeling of dread whenever I passed by the statue to know the politician had been the source of the gift. Barius was up for his senate seat again in a few weeks time, and I felt oddly suspicious that a good deal of his reasoning behind the gift was to try and influence the public towards his reelection. Whether that was the meaning or not, Barius won his seat again, and the arena prospered as usual.

~*~

Over the last few weeks I have begun to hear whispers of an odd rumor. Apparently it seems Barius has been hanging around the temple district more than he ever had before... and for some reason I can't fathom him becoming the newest devotee to Kiviena. The idea of the large black wolf becoming chummy with the priests is almost intriguing enough to tempt me to sneak into the temples, however it would be the last thing I'd ever do really. Beyond the fact that the priests have never enjoyed my presence when Usaden and the others have come into the temple, My low social status would mean arrest... at best... if I tried to walk into that district.

Over the past few weeks I have also noticed that Barius's eyes had taken on their predatory gleam even more when near Silver. I'm not sure exactly what it means, especially since I've heard the two hardly spend time apart other then working hours. Over the past few months they had grown closer than most couples, and only Silver's adamant refusal to leave her own home kept them apart at all. In all honesty, seeing the way Barius watched her, I was quite glad she had someplace to herself.

~*~

The day dawned like any other, the sun raising over the mountains in the distance and shinning into the dusty arena floor. I had woken early, wanting to work on some of the records that had backed up in the betting office, marking down for the financiers what citizens owed us and what we had taken during the day. So far the odds the owner had set insured the arena took in a nice profit, even if we did end up giving out decent purses for the gamblers whose luck was bigger than their coin purses.

I had arranged the docket for the day’s battle earlier, the scroll now hanging from the loop holder strapped to my belt. It was your typical day at the arena, no lethal matches but eight contests of strength and display battles. Bloodstrype and Silver would take the main bulk of the fights, with Shutter picking up two battles as well. By the end of the day I was sure all three of them would be exhausted, and depending on how well the fights went, sore.

~*~

As I watched from the upper balcony, slowly tabulating the winners of each match and placing into columns the amount paid out and the amounts taken in by the arena, I noticed that the battles seemed to... drag today. The sun seemed to be taking it's time as Silver's staff whipped through the air, connecting with the shoulder of the man she was sparring with, forcing him down onto one knee. With a flourish Silver pushed her body forward and forced the wooden staff along the male opponent’s weapon, sliding the polished surface up into his ribs and forcing him to stagger backwards. Silver pressed the advantage that this gave her, and I winced as her opponent was quickly forced into submission, noticing as he was lead away that this was the second fight that Silver had finished off so quickly. She seemed to be in both top form and in a great deal of a rush today, and I could only guess that it had something to do with her growing attachment to Barius. In between bouts Silver was allowed to rest while the announcements were held, and Shutter fought his second and last of the days fights.

Before long, Shutter had finished his fight, managing to overpower his opponent and eek out another win for the arena staff. So far the arena had made a decent amount at the Odds, even if Silver was usually favored to win. The pools were rigged just enough that they managed to take enough in with all of the people betting against Silver, and on The other fighters that they came out ahead over all. I had just collected a rather large purse from one of the more reluctant senators… one of the more satisfying sides of a scribe’s job, especially since it usually meant working alongside some of the arena’s fighters for extra emphasis… when I heard the announcer summoning Silver for her final scheduled fight for the evening. As I began to make my way through the crowd surrounding the lower section where the dignitary’s and more prestigious guests were seated, I noticed someone wearing a rather heavy cloak talking to one of the arena’s guards. He was gesturing dramatically and I could catch a glimpse of dark fur underneath the hem of the heavy brown cloth he wore wrapped around his arms and legs. Letting my natural feline curiosity get the better of me, I edged my way closer and allowed my folded ear to slide partially back, swiveling so that I could surreptitiously overhear what the two were arguing about. “…I already told you before I’m not going to leave until I see it featured in a fight, I spent a lot of time and money getting that filthy creature dragged all the way down here now I want to see it killed!”

“If you had jus told us earlier then maybe something could have been dun, but we’re already wrapping things up…” The robed figure cut the guard off with a glare and threw out his gloved paw, gripping the guard around his thick neck and pulling him in close. This was rather shocking to me, since the guard was one of our better men and normally I wouldn’t expect him to be intimidated by anyone, but the robed figure seemed to make the guard pause…
“Like I’ve already said, get whoever’s in charge and get my creature out on that stage before the end of the day or I’ll let it loose myself,” The man emphasized his words by tossing the guard down onto the arena’s hard stone floor, making the large fur seem comically small and out of place. Before the robed figure could notice me I decided to resume my pace back upstairs towards the observation deck, intending to observe the last few moments of Silver’s last bout and think about the new odd development and what it might mean for the arena.

~*~

I did not have to wait long to understand what the robed figure had been talking about, or what it would mean for the arena and it’s fighters…. But it also wouldn’t become clear to me all that it would mean for certain members of our community until much later… not that the knowledge would do much good really. The first thing that became clear however was exactly what the robed figure had dragged into the city, as the large creature was now being drug into the arena’s “monster” den and chained along one of the walls to prepare it for the battle to come. The creature in question was called a “redburr”, a mixture of a cat and… well something with wings… either a dragon or a bat since they were more leathery than… feathery really. At the moment the creature was howling in pain as the keepers pierced it’s long wings with spears, tearing the thin membranes and ensuring it couldn’t fly away and endanger anyone outside the arena. Monster battles were one of my least favorite parts of the arena really, as the constant howling and screaming from the beasts during the “preparation” was always disgusting to me. I shuddered and tried to block out the sounds from below my paws as I focused on Silver preparing in the arena floor below the observation deck.

At the moment the floor of the arena was littered with glittering weapons, talon caps, scythes, knives and swords of every description, each sharpened and honed. Silver was busy choosing her weapons before the match, while the monster’s “keepers” prepared the beast to meet its fate. I tried not to sympathize too much with the Redburr , knowing that no matter how I felt not only was the monsters chances of surviving the match slim… but Silver’s attitude had deteriorated drastically over the last hour or so. She had gone from someone who was obviously agitated and in a hurry to a woman on the verge of possession and the only thing I felt now was pity for the poor beast that was about to be set upon. I watched as Silver gripped a pair of scythe like short blades and the keepers pushed the beast out of the pen with long poles, urging it into the open arena. The crowd sent up a cheer for a few moments as it prepared itself to watch the thrilling match to come…

… And within a few mere minutes the poor creature lay dead in the center of the ring, Its lung had been punctured with a neat stab to the chest, it’s spine had been severed during a leaping slash that had also allowed Silver to clear the beasts body and placed her halfway towards the exit to the arena. I shook my head in half shock and half exasperation as she simply ran off through the exit, still clutching the blood soaked equipment in her paws, the creatures last groans of pain not even faded from the walls of the arena proper.

~*~

What would happen in the following hours would change the dynamic of the surrounding town for years to come, and would have a profound impact on my own personal life, as it would be the driving force behind a personal decision I would never look back upon. Of course… at the time I didn’t know anything was happening at all. I simply returned to my apartment from the observation deck after overseeing the “disposal”… or one might say “roasting” of the Redburr and went about putting together a short description of the battle, trying to paint it in as glorifying light as possible, as I was sure the noble who had put up such a fuss about having his beast included would likely bring all hell down upon us for having it disposed of in a few minutes. Once I was finished I went about my own personal business, ate my modest evening meal and made sure all of the scrolls were arranged for the next day’s business… made sure their wouldn’t be any problems and that nothing… unusual had been found lately, and then went to sleep.

It was the next morning that I began to realize something was drastically wrong. People were missing… a large number of people, and mostly from Silver and Barius’s life. Even Usaden, the priest that so often annoyed Silver had suddenly gone missing overnight, and seemingly no one had heard of what happened… or at least no one in our district had… but it only took a few hours for the rumors to start filtering in of a massive bloodbath in the temple district. I was barred from going anywhere near the temples, and I wouldn't personally be caught there under normal circumstances, since my own outside activities would be considered... opposed to the normal temple lifestyle. But today I found myself called before the emperor's inquisitors, forced to stand amongst the drying stains of a demolished temple alongside the few remaining arena workers that had not been present during Silver's attack.

Most of the arena guards and members were questioned quickly and told to leave the place, something I found comical since they forced them to enter a bloody scene like this just to send them away, but continually I was passed over and moved to the back of the queue. I knew one of the reasons this would be... as one of the scribes from the arena it was my job to observe Silver and the others who were involved... most likely they would ask me to identify victims if they had any... something I wouldn't... hate I guess... but why they continually eyed me disturbed me. Finally as the sun began to lower in the sky, signaling the begging of evening, the head of the inquisition beckoned me over with a talon laced paw. "I understand that you were not very fond of Senator Barius or his... affection for one Silver," He asked with a slight lisp, his yellowish eyes narrowing slightly.

His branch of questioning made the ready retort die in my throat and I had to swallow several times before I could answer him. I also had to remind myself that anything I said here could wind up sending me back into slavery... "I... did not enjoy his company no... mostly because he seemed rather possessive of her and I worried what plans he could have that revolved around her. He seemed the type of person that would... use people against their will... and I have a problem with this type." I swallowed again after saying this and allowed my brown eyes to hit the floor afterwards, deferring to the larger fur and attempting to look more respectful. "Hmmm... well considering what we found... you may be right..." The avian male murmured almost to himself, as he began to walk slightly forwards, and with a wave of his talons beckoned me to follow suit.

I had to move slowly to avoid brushing the crows wings as he moved into the temples interior, and a shiver ran down my spine as I crossed as far as I ever would into a temple in my "home". I starred around in shock at the now vividly colored walls and altar, the place coated in a thick splattering of life essence that was physically striking. Again I was forcefully reminded of only a few nights ago and waking up bathed in someone else's blood, shuddering on the flagstone ground. I shook my head and tried to focus my folded ears as my guide began to speak. "What do you make of the pile of rubble over there? along the western wall? where the Monument should have been," He spread his hand to the side and indicated a pile of rubble... or in actuality what looked like two large piles of rubble collapsed against each other. Most of the stone was crushed and broken, shards were scattered across the round dais that raised the alter up along this side of the temple.

I took a few moments to sift through some of the larger pieces of ceramic, finding quite a few portions of the typical Kiviena sculpture, multiple wing pieces and a small amount of the gods face were still plainly visible, but more disturbing were the small portions of ceramic I could find that I recognized personally. Whoever Barius had commissioned to construct the monument had done masterful work, and her likeness was clear in even the few pieces she had allowed to remain whole. I placed a few of these small portions of pottery to the side, finding mostly pieces that described wither her hands or the side of a face, or a portion of her hairline. Finally I came to one small piece that contained her left eye, a piece that was strikingly realistic. I paused as I held this one and my left eye flicked up, taking in during the few moments I could spare that the inquisitor had his back to me. While he was engaged I slipped the piece of porcelain into the folds of my robe and stood up, purposefully dusting my paws loudly. "It looks like there was an installation here that had two porcelain figures... one of Kiviena... and one of.... a friend of mine... which would lead me to believe that Barius... or whoever was building this temple... had gone insane."

As I finished my words the crow's eyes widened slightly in surprise and anger, clearly disliking the fact that I would speak ill of a member of the court, however I pushed onwards before he could admonish me. "If he had retained his sanity he would have remembered Silver's hatred of religion, and of Kiviena especially... although that had more to do with Usaden than the god herself," I muttered to myself softly, "It's clear that Barius seems to have decided that Silver was something beyond... mortal... and that he wished to raise her to god hood.... but he should have realized what her reaction would be, and that even if he did corner her.... and arrange it so that she was as weak as possible... he stood little chance of survival. I am guessing that Barius is one of the bodies that was carted away?"

The crow nodded as I finished talking and placed his hands behind his back, squeezing them together. "Your assumptions.... seem correct from everything we have found... but it doesn't change the fact that Barius was a powerful member of the court and deserves our respect. I will need to have words with my superiors about your... frankness..." With this, and a disdainful wave of a wing and a talon clad paw, I was dismissed from the temples, and backed my way from the room and it's metallic scents.

~*~

I sat at the small sparse table in my room, the room I had inhabited for the last ten years, getting to know the nooks ad cracks in the masonry and learning the way in which the wind could slither through the walls in the dead of the night. I knew this would be the last time I sat here, as I had already made my preparations to leave, gathering my few belonging into a small pack and securing it against the door, and stacking the entirety of my official log in the bins by the door. My personal log and journal now rested in the bottom of my bag against an old leather bound book I had found ages ago... what felt like a life time ago. And now sitting before me was the dagger and it's matching blue metal bowl, reflecting the single guttering candle, tempting me and urging me towards what I wanted to do. It had been nearly six years since I had actively used the prayers... the system of contacts I had learned ages ago in a dead city filled with memories that walked by night.

I picked up the dagger and shook back my left arm, revealing that under the usually tightly bound wrapping of my robes my wrist was crossed with slashes from past deals with this same bowl... and from punishments doled out by my former slave masters. I had always found it comical that the slave dealers tended to slice their victims wrists in a similar fashion to the dead empire that had created the artifacts before me. I stroked a claw along the outer rim of the bowl making the metal sing with an odd humming moan, and began to utter syllables under my breath, letting the words flow out of my small feline frame as I visualized what I wished from my "prayer".

There are some creatures within this plane that wish things beyond what they can create or control. These creatures are willing to contract with others... willing to send out a portion of their power to another being in exchange for what they desire but cannot physically cause. Long ago I had found the dagger and bowl and made the pact with such a creature, a huge grasping thing of insubstantial qualities that lived far beneath the surface of the eastern sea. This creature demands a price for anything that I wish or will however, a heavy price that up until this point I had never desired anything enough to warrant consciously making the sacrifice and opening the contract. But tonight, tonight I have thought of something I want more than anything else, and as I trace the bowls edge and allow the tip of one clawed finger to slice itself open along the bowls edge, spreading a thin line of red along the rim, my left paw brings out the small porcelain eye from the temple. Tonight I have realized that while there may not be anything I want left in this foul empire, and while there may never be a place left for me here... I still do want one thing. I want her to get away from the emperor's hunters. Whether my prayers will simply aide her in some way or waylay some of her enemies, I no longer care as I place the porcelain eye onto the tabletop next to the bowl and grab the dagger. With a quick downwards slash I have separated the old scarred skin along my right wrist and allowed a steady stream of fluid to leak into the bowl, filling the perquisite for contact as I continue to chant the thick syllables bridging the gaps between worlds. As My eyes begin to dim and the voice begins to rumble to life behind my own conscious mind, I can feel the mask lowering over my face, sealing away my humanity and conscious reasoning. I could hear the rumbling names, the sounds and the screams through my folded ears of what the night would bring, but with the eyeless porcelain mask in place over my face I could no longer be seen or see the victims my master chose or directed me towards.

~*~

Three days later I awoke within the woods far to the south of the empire's capital. I knew the area only from the time I had rode through the forested pathway inside one of the slavers barred cages. Today however I awoke feeling lethargic, heavy.... and sticky. I blinked my eyes several times before forcing myself into a sitting position to examine my blood soaked robes and the shattered mask that lay at my footpaws marking the end of my "servitude". I had obviously run rampant during the time required for my prayers, and I hoped that the added distraction provided by the mystery deaths would aide Silver as well. My pack was besides me, placed a few feet away from me and well clean of blood, speaking of the odd power behind that which I had served, along with the bowl and it's curved blade. I sighed softly as I picked myself up, stripping the soiled robes from my body and leaving myself in the simple leather shorts that most males in the arena wore, kicking the bloody garments under a bush and shouldering my pack onto my now naked back. It may be another ten years before I find a place where I feel at "home" again... but in all honesty.... if it meant Silver managed to go free.... it was well worth it. With a determined air I pushed off towards the east.