FA+
Shop
1179
Views
Views
13
Favorites
Favorites
Category
All / All
Species Ocelot
Size 1280 x 640
File Size 932.7 kB
Report this content
More from Roaming_Shadow
Listed in Folders
Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce you to someone I never thought I’d have the pleasure; my fursona, as beautifully rendered by 
Madame-Dei.
Name: Isaac Evans
Species: Ocelot
Gender: Male
Age: 24
Height: 5’8”
Weight: 133 lbs
Eyes: Hazel
Occupation: Author/Freelance Writer
Orientation: Straight
Likes: Fantasy literature, RPGs, nature (especially the rain), writing, tactics and strategy, good friends, Italian food, travel and camping
Dislikes: Belligerence, hypocrisy, elitism, modern politics, intolerance (notice a trend?)
Note on the glasses: He needs them only for distance viewing, such as when driving, and keeps them off when he otherwise does not need them.
Personality:
Isaac is an introvert, to the point that he occasionally has difficulty interacting with others because it’s not easy for him to break the ice or express himself verbally. He is, however, making a conscientious effort to improve his social skills, but it’s coming slowly. He’s an easy guy to get along with, so long as you make at least some effort in understanding him. If you can get him on the right subjects once the ice is broken, he can be pretty chatty. He does possess a hot temper however, and though his fuse is much longer than it used to be, it’s usually all or nothing with his anger.
Isaac is comfortable in his own skin, doing what feels right to him with little worry about what others think of him, unconcerned with trends and the like. He doesn’t actively and intentionally go against the grain, but he makes no real effort to follow the crowd either, content to go his own way. He’s very much a daydreamer, his imagination often going to far off places when his mind doesn’t need to focus on a task, which is mildly ironic, when one considers how he’s often a very literal minded person when dealing with real people.
Isaac is a reader and a gamer, loving well crafted stories and characters, though most especially the characters. A part of his love of gaming stems from enjoying a good mental challenge, and this love have drawn him to various games with tactical and strategic elements, including role playing games. He’s not one for live action role play though; for some reason his minds isn’t fast when it comes to thinking of in character dialogue. He’s more what one would call a methodical thinker, though his mind does come up with the quick quip from time to time among friends.
Isaac enjoys alternative rock and classical music, fantasy literature, and quiet moments. He can easily sit, watch, and listen to the falling rain, an activity he finds a lot of serenity in.
Madame-Dei.Name: Isaac Evans
Species: Ocelot
Gender: Male
Age: 24
Height: 5’8”
Weight: 133 lbs
Eyes: Hazel
Occupation: Author/Freelance Writer
Orientation: Straight
Likes: Fantasy literature, RPGs, nature (especially the rain), writing, tactics and strategy, good friends, Italian food, travel and camping
Dislikes: Belligerence, hypocrisy, elitism, modern politics, intolerance (notice a trend?)
Note on the glasses: He needs them only for distance viewing, such as when driving, and keeps them off when he otherwise does not need them.
Personality:
Isaac is an introvert, to the point that he occasionally has difficulty interacting with others because it’s not easy for him to break the ice or express himself verbally. He is, however, making a conscientious effort to improve his social skills, but it’s coming slowly. He’s an easy guy to get along with, so long as you make at least some effort in understanding him. If you can get him on the right subjects once the ice is broken, he can be pretty chatty. He does possess a hot temper however, and though his fuse is much longer than it used to be, it’s usually all or nothing with his anger.
Isaac is comfortable in his own skin, doing what feels right to him with little worry about what others think of him, unconcerned with trends and the like. He doesn’t actively and intentionally go against the grain, but he makes no real effort to follow the crowd either, content to go his own way. He’s very much a daydreamer, his imagination often going to far off places when his mind doesn’t need to focus on a task, which is mildly ironic, when one considers how he’s often a very literal minded person when dealing with real people.
Isaac is a reader and a gamer, loving well crafted stories and characters, though most especially the characters. A part of his love of gaming stems from enjoying a good mental challenge, and this love have drawn him to various games with tactical and strategic elements, including role playing games. He’s not one for live action role play though; for some reason his minds isn’t fast when it comes to thinking of in character dialogue. He’s more what one would call a methodical thinker, though his mind does come up with the quick quip from time to time among friends.
Isaac enjoys alternative rock and classical music, fantasy literature, and quiet moments. He can easily sit, watch, and listen to the falling rain, an activity he finds a lot of serenity in.
Category All / All
Species Ocelot
Size 1280 x 640px
File Size 932.7 kB
Ok, so, straight off the bat, Issac is you. He's your furry self. A classic "Fursona" This is ok. Ok but not great. He falls into the "every fur" trap. He has all of your likes, quirks, disslikes, etc. By deffinition, this makes him a marry sue. He's a great avatar for you, but he's not a character. Here's something that you reeeaaaally should use as a resource :
http://www.springhole.net/writing/marysue.htm
Run your characters through this. This is super helpful in seeing where you can improve.
A well thought out character can inspire us, but a marry sue, (i.e. and author wish fulfilment or author-placed-in-story character) makes us feel uncomfortable and will often be rather disliked or under appreciated, regardless of how much great writing or awesome art that character has to go with them.
One thing I noticed right off the bat was your names.
Issac Evans and Damian
You picked those names because they are pretty and less common in real life, and you liked them. But that is exactly the beginning of what makes them leave a bad taste. Names should be appropriate for your world. If you have a special name, there need to be a reason (Dusk has a reason that get's revealed in his story if I ever get it underway LOL). It's clear that in your world, it's a contemporary, now-days sort of world, so you need to use real names, but your picks are about as unseal as naming someone Moonchild Sparklewind.
Names to avoid. Note, this does not mean "OMG NEVER UZE THEZZZEE NAMEZZZZ" It just means, if you DOOO use names like this, try attatching it in an unexpected way, like to a character that isn't anything like the feeling the name conveys, So a list of a few names to avoid:
Damian and Issac or actually on that list, Demitri, Hunter, Raven, Dorian, Daren, Evan, Lance, Jence, Dante, Diego, Mallacai(totally misspelled that one, but whatever LOL) Rowan, Ariel, and many others. Does the name sound flowery and impossibly pretty? Does the name make the character's parents unusually creative or awesome because of what he was named? These are what to watch for.
Good names for a contemporary setting with "normal" people:
John, jack, henry, Leon or Leo (Those two are hedgey, so be careful), Mark, Luke, Daniel or Dan or Danny (My name, LOL, waaaay too common and mundane for it's own good LOL) Josh, Zack(Hedgey again, be cautious of steriotypes with this one) Ben, Justin, Chris, Connor, Cody, William or Bill, Ray or Raymond, Eric, Joe, Ethan, Victor, Nick, Sam, and many many more.
Those are guides, not to be taken as end all be all facts. All rules are made to be broken, but if you break them, you must compensate in another way so that the character soesn't plunge down the rabbit hole. For example: Issac is a Jewish name. Can be used by anyone, but mostly, it's Jewish, so if he MUST be Issac, then make him a non-practicing jewish descent person, and give him a more real last name like Schumacker, Shindler, Schnider, and so on. Something jewish, polish, old german, eastern european. That's the sorts of names alot of Jewish famillies have, (not all, but alot.) Evans is too much marry sue to swallow.
Ok, so, what do I like. I like your contemporary idea. He's not far out in appearance, in fact, he could be spruced up a bit, but you have a good start there. You picked an animal not often picked, good job there. He's a goon avatar for you, and if that's what you wanted, you got it.
Sadly, there isn't alot more I can say praise wise, But remember, I'm just one opinion. If you are brave and want to improve, go run your characters through that test, then work at changing them and building them into real characters. If you want, I can help you with this, some. I have a busy life, but I'll be glad to lend a voice to help you create a stronger character.
Cheers, and sorry this was on the harsher side. I wish it wasn't, but I will not lie to you as that does you no good.
http://www.springhole.net/writing/marysue.htm
Run your characters through this. This is super helpful in seeing where you can improve.
A well thought out character can inspire us, but a marry sue, (i.e. and author wish fulfilment or author-placed-in-story character) makes us feel uncomfortable and will often be rather disliked or under appreciated, regardless of how much great writing or awesome art that character has to go with them.
One thing I noticed right off the bat was your names.
Issac Evans and Damian
You picked those names because they are pretty and less common in real life, and you liked them. But that is exactly the beginning of what makes them leave a bad taste. Names should be appropriate for your world. If you have a special name, there need to be a reason (Dusk has a reason that get's revealed in his story if I ever get it underway LOL). It's clear that in your world, it's a contemporary, now-days sort of world, so you need to use real names, but your picks are about as unseal as naming someone Moonchild Sparklewind.
Names to avoid. Note, this does not mean "OMG NEVER UZE THEZZZEE NAMEZZZZ" It just means, if you DOOO use names like this, try attatching it in an unexpected way, like to a character that isn't anything like the feeling the name conveys, So a list of a few names to avoid:
Damian and Issac or actually on that list, Demitri, Hunter, Raven, Dorian, Daren, Evan, Lance, Jence, Dante, Diego, Mallacai(totally misspelled that one, but whatever LOL) Rowan, Ariel, and many others. Does the name sound flowery and impossibly pretty? Does the name make the character's parents unusually creative or awesome because of what he was named? These are what to watch for.
Good names for a contemporary setting with "normal" people:
John, jack, henry, Leon or Leo (Those two are hedgey, so be careful), Mark, Luke, Daniel or Dan or Danny (My name, LOL, waaaay too common and mundane for it's own good LOL) Josh, Zack(Hedgey again, be cautious of steriotypes with this one) Ben, Justin, Chris, Connor, Cody, William or Bill, Ray or Raymond, Eric, Joe, Ethan, Victor, Nick, Sam, and many many more.
Those are guides, not to be taken as end all be all facts. All rules are made to be broken, but if you break them, you must compensate in another way so that the character soesn't plunge down the rabbit hole. For example: Issac is a Jewish name. Can be used by anyone, but mostly, it's Jewish, so if he MUST be Issac, then make him a non-practicing jewish descent person, and give him a more real last name like Schumacker, Shindler, Schnider, and so on. Something jewish, polish, old german, eastern european. That's the sorts of names alot of Jewish famillies have, (not all, but alot.) Evans is too much marry sue to swallow.
Ok, so, what do I like. I like your contemporary idea. He's not far out in appearance, in fact, he could be spruced up a bit, but you have a good start there. You picked an animal not often picked, good job there. He's a goon avatar for you, and if that's what you wanted, you got it.
Sadly, there isn't alot more I can say praise wise, But remember, I'm just one opinion. If you are brave and want to improve, go run your characters through that test, then work at changing them and building them into real characters. If you want, I can help you with this, some. I have a busy life, but I'll be glad to lend a voice to help you create a stronger character.
Cheers, and sorry this was on the harsher side. I wish it wasn't, but I will not lie to you as that does you no good.
Well, I appreciate the honesty. I do suppose he wasn't the best choice for review, since Isaac here is more fursona than character, and you were asking for characters, so I guess that's my goof there. I didn't think that qualifies as Mary Sue though, as my understanding of Mary Sue was a character for whom everything goes their way. But I suppose that's only part of a Mary Sue.
As for world...well, I admit, I don't have one. As I said, he's a fursona, not a character, so my error. But unfortunately not having a grounding in a fleshed out world is something Damian falls into as well. And I guess I'm terrible with names. I knew Damian was bordering on overused, but I didn't realize both Isaac and Evan was too. And I also picked contemporary names because I thought they were more relatable and grounded than "exotic" ones, especially since they don't have a "world" of their own to draw from. Looking at the list of names again...sheesh...I am apparently terrible with names, given that most of the names I've given various character are on the "avoid" list...
I guess the only thing I did with his looks was to make sure his clothing and glasses made sense for an anthro, with the extra hinges on the glasses for the upper placed ears and shorts that reasonably accommodated the tail. I mean, I wanted him to just be a humanoid ocelot, not a fantastical creature that would only make sense in a land of floating castles where water flows uphill.
Well, again, thank you for your honesty. Though I'm afraid you'll politely tear apart Damian, perhaps it'll be a good eye opener for me to develop him further.
As for world...well, I admit, I don't have one. As I said, he's a fursona, not a character, so my error. But unfortunately not having a grounding in a fleshed out world is something Damian falls into as well. And I guess I'm terrible with names. I knew Damian was bordering on overused, but I didn't realize both Isaac and Evan was too. And I also picked contemporary names because I thought they were more relatable and grounded than "exotic" ones, especially since they don't have a "world" of their own to draw from. Looking at the list of names again...sheesh...I am apparently terrible with names, given that most of the names I've given various character are on the "avoid" list...
I guess the only thing I did with his looks was to make sure his clothing and glasses made sense for an anthro, with the extra hinges on the glasses for the upper placed ears and shorts that reasonably accommodated the tail. I mean, I wanted him to just be a humanoid ocelot, not a fantastical creature that would only make sense in a land of floating castles where water flows uphill.
Well, again, thank you for your honesty. Though I'm afraid you'll politely tear apart Damian, perhaps it'll be a good eye opener for me to develop him further.
Comments