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Note: This is a TF-based choose your own adventure page. Start Here. In its description you can learn how to read this CYOA.
Previous Chapter
Note: This is a TF-based choose your own adventure page. Start Here. In its description you can learn how to read this CYOA.
Category Story / Transformation
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 120 x 120px
File Size 13 kB
I thought he was in another dimension, another version of Earth, but then it kinda seems like he's asking to see proof of this occurrence that would have been recorded in the 60s _of our reality_. But if he's in this alternate reality, it seems like a silly question, as they wouldn't necessarily have that same stuff going on.
Or is it that this new version of the world the same, save for Atlantis island being there, and it being a bit of a technological dead zone, while the rest of this alt-Earth has the same sort of tech?
Or is it that this new version of the world the same, save for Atlantis island being there, and it being a bit of a technological dead zone, while the rest of this alt-Earth has the same sort of tech?
Nitpicking is absolutely fine. It's certainly more interesting than "Great!" and nothing else. Onto the meat and potatoes.
I already raised that question during writing. Are the timelines similar? Have they ever been similar? Without modern technology to compare, it's hard to say if even that meets up. Also remember that Amelia's only taste of our world was through the conversations of people who left here fifty years ago. She assumes that comparisons in 1960s based purely on anecdotal conversations mean certain parallels between worlds.
Now, I think you can see where I like using 'I.' The protagonist can be dead wrong. Rather than comprimising their viewpoint, they just have an opinion on the truth.
But I'll make one point: the other three were asking about events to confirm that the character is from our world. At the end of the day, who knows?
I already raised that question during writing. Are the timelines similar? Have they ever been similar? Without modern technology to compare, it's hard to say if even that meets up. Also remember that Amelia's only taste of our world was through the conversations of people who left here fifty years ago. She assumes that comparisons in 1960s based purely on anecdotal conversations mean certain parallels between worlds.
Now, I think you can see where I like using 'I.' The protagonist can be dead wrong. Rather than comprimising their viewpoint, they just have an opinion on the truth.
But I'll make one point: the other three were asking about events to confirm that the character is from our world. At the end of the day, who knows?
I'm of a mind that you should read something becuse it's enjoyable, not just a means to an end. I've seen CYOA communities where the golden submissions are barely passable. Sure, it's a branch of a branch - but it's like writing a novel with multiple outcomes. It's a submission from me, in any regard. If I want people to view my work and subscribe or favourite, the last thing I want is to bore them. Now you see why I felt like I had to restart - there were blocks to this kind of quality in place.
As to the fifty years question, I haven't answered that, yet. Maybe it's a ritual sacrifice. Maybe they all turn into sailboats and fly away on currents of juice. Stay tuned to possibly find out.
As to the fifty years question, I haven't answered that, yet. Maybe it's a ritual sacrifice. Maybe they all turn into sailboats and fly away on currents of juice. Stay tuned to possibly find out.
hmm. While looking at my comment again, it seems as if i was expecting less from you because you were writing a choose your own adventure story. Thats not the case though. Im just used to the beginning, introduction scenes, and ending to be where most writers put their energy. Everything else to them is just filler. Im glad you put so much effort into all parts of the story. Also: ill be waiting for the next part with the possibility to get an answer to my question, although id find the sailboats explination the most amusing.
I like the internal rationalization going on in the 1st person perspective, something which I dislike when using an audience-directed perspective. It gives credence to certain reactions and things taken for granted, such as the character not flipping out and attacking some of the NPCs or whether or not the character would eat and talk or be suspicious of everything. Something about them being a puppet on the audience's strings is attractive if the character really is to be an avatar.
On the off chance that you might be open to potential suggestions, would it be possible for me to humbly suggest/beg/plead with you to consider Bastet as a possible deity for this branch of the story?
Heh, no worries if you're sticking to your own devices for this project though. I just wouldn't have been able to forgive myself for passing up the opportunity to influence what seems to be developing into the single most comprehensive CYOA-style story I've ever witnessed. I'll be thoroughly impressed should you be able to maintain, or even improve upon, this level of quality throughout the remainder of the story.
Heh, no worries if you're sticking to your own devices for this project though. I just wouldn't have been able to forgive myself for passing up the opportunity to influence what seems to be developing into the single most comprehensive CYOA-style story I've ever witnessed. I'll be thoroughly impressed should you be able to maintain, or even improve upon, this level of quality throughout the remainder of the story.
The problem there (and you will see mor reasoning in the future) is that the gods I've chosen have particular relevancy in society. Bast does not have such areas of strength. She was important in the story and the pantheon in Egypt, but less useful here.
As much or as little as it may seem, I have most things mapped out to 5-6 forks down the road. Changing something in an upper fork leaves much mess cleanup for about 45-50 possible updates from me.
As much or as little as it may seem, I have most things mapped out to 5-6 forks down the road. Changing something in an upper fork leaves much mess cleanup for about 45-50 possible updates from me.
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