Bowser goes on a familiar quest, filled with all sorts of ticklish situations

All characters © Nintendo

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Bowser's Ticklish Adventures: 6 Golden Coins Part 1
Getting to the Root of the problem

One day, Bowser was sitting on his throne, listening to a Troopa read aloud the list of issues that Bowser's kingdom was currently having.

“...There's been a strange plague that's been causing all of our livestock to swell up and develop spots...”
“Uh-huh. Spotty balloon animals. Check. Let's get that kooky doctor fortune teller person guy. Schedule an abduction for 3:00 AM.”
“...There's been a rash of rashes among the goombas. Apparently, a fungus has invaded our kingdom and seems to have taken a liking to our mushroomy soldiers.”
“So, in other words, they're like toads.”

The troopa gave his king a quizzical look.

“It's a joke.” Bowser growled, before the troopa burst into a fit of fake laughter.
“G-Good one, my liege! Anyways, sir... if I might suggest, it would probably be best to--”

KABLAM!

Bowser would have roared in a fit of annoyance were he in any other activity, but the distracting noise actually make him sigh with relief. “Finally, a distraction!” Bowser thought to himself. Standing up, he saw the doors open and a certain red plumber stroll right into his throne room.

Relief replaced with actual annoyance, Bowser growled, steam blowing out of his nostrils.

“Mario!? What are you doing in here!? If you're looking for your precious pretty Princess, she's not here!”

Mario gave an elaborate, but forced bow.

“She's safe at her castle, actually. But, ah, you see... I need-a your help.”

Bowser snorted. “MY help? YOU? Why should I help you?”

“Well... I could always help you get a date with Peach...”

Bowser froze. A date? With the princess?

Pretty much anything was worth that.

“....Well, I'll... consider it...” Bowser said, hiding his obvious excitement. Mario just rolled his eyes.

“Wario stole my castle, and sent the six golden coins that unlock it to--”

“WAAIT wait wait. YOU have a castle!?”

“Yeah. You see, receiving so many royal rewards for rescuing the Princess from you... I had to spend the money somewhere!”

“...Mario has a castle...?” Bowser muttered to himself.

“Anyways, Six golden coins. And I can't get them, because... well... Wario built walls that are too strong for me to break, and too tall for me to jump over!”

“Heh. Okay, so once I get these six golden coins... I get a date with Peach. In YOUR castle.”

“But I--”

“Those are my terms! Take them or leave them!”

Mario sighed. He really didn't want Bowser staying in his castle. But he didn't have a choice...

“Fine.”

“Well then, what are we waiting for? PREPARE THE AIRSHIP!”

Neither of them noticed an ear on a pole retracting from the room...

Meanwhile, in MWario's Castle...

Wario retracted the Ear-On-A-Tube and folded it up.

“Eeehhhh!? So, Mario thinks he can just hire that big brute to take back MMYYYY castle!? Well well well... unfortunately for Mario, I know Bowser's big weakness!”

Wario grinned and pulled out a cell phone, dialing it.

“Hello, is this Trapmeisters? I need some traps of a particularly devious variety... oh, and make sure you get your best trainers. We need to teach some of the local wildlife how to exploit a certain... weakness...”

A goomba and a troopa, both of them wearing Wario's colors, stepped up to him.

“Wait, Bowser's coming here!?” the Goomba said.

“Yyyyep! And if you want to get paid, you'd better fight him!”

The two of them looked at each other nervously, then left without a word.

At the sea docks...

Bowser stepped off of the sea-resting airship at the dock, preparing head into the island where Mario had made his residence.

“Remember, Bowser. Wario's a devious fiend... but he's also dumber than you, so you should be fine.”

Bowser chuckled, “Yeah, he's pretty dumb all ri...
...
HEEYYY!!”

Mario chuckled, “I think I'll stay here and make sure your airship doesn't get taken over or something like that.”

“Sure thing. I hate to work with you anyways, unless we're taking turns or something like that.”
“What?”
“Nothing.”

Bowser moved ahead, walking into the hilly plains that marked the beginning of Mario's land.

Level Prologue!

Bowser immediately saw a pair of Goombas walking towards him.

Wearing purple pants.

“Wait a minute... you two are...”

“...Yep. We're screwed.”

“TRAITORS!!” Bowser roared, chasing after them.

“RUN DUDE RUN!” Goomba #1 yelled, as the two retreated from Bowser. Jumping in a pipe, Bowser tried to follow.

And found himself wedged upside-down, his head at the bottom of the warp pipe, and his feet sticking up top.

And the two Goombas laughing at him.

“Wow, he really fell for that trick! That's amazing!” Goomba #2 said.

Bowser's face burned red with embarrassment and rage. “Get me out of here!”

“Nope!” Goomba #1 said.

That's when Bowser started to feel a pair of small claws scratching over his soles.

“Hehehey! Whahaht!?” Bowser laughed, his feet wiggling and struggling as they were being tickled.

He recognized the hands, too. Koopa Troopa, definitely. Which meant that there were more traitors than he realized.

“Awww, is the big king ticklish?” Goomba #2 teased.

“Shut up!” Bowser started to say, but then the claws went into overdrive.
The claws dug into just below his toes, wiggling there before raking down his large soles, over his arches. Bowser roared loud with hilarity, struggling and wiggling as hard as he could.

Goomba #2 stepped over to Goomba #1

“Pssst. Do you think he'll kill us if he gets out?”
“Nah. Why would he?”
“Because... we're... tickling him?”
“That's precisely why he wouldn't. He loved this stuff.”

Goomba #2 blinked.

“Wait, really?”
“Yep. We're totally going to betray Wario. Money isn't worth being roasted to a crisp.”
“Aha... clever thinking. I assume the troopa is with us, too.”
“Yep.”

The troopa, meanwhile, was enjoying himself immensely.

“And to think I called this stupid...” the koopa grinned, wiggling his claws up Bowser's large soles. Knowing that he could do this and actually get rewarded by Bowser for it didn't hurt.

Giving the soles one last rake, he stopped tickling.

Bowser panted hard, “Wow... is it over already?” he grinned “I could take a lot more of that!”

Goomba #1 walked up and smiled, “We know. We wanted to give Wario the appearance that we were working for him. Our loyalty has only ever been to you, my king.”

Bowser grinned. An obvious lie, but one that benefited him.

“Well then... let me down from here.”

Bowser could feel the pipe loosening around him as Goomba #2 twisted a valve. (How a goomba twists a valve is beyond the scope of this story, and I suggest you stop thinking about it.)

Landing with an ungraceful thud on the ground, Bowser dusted himself off.

“Wario set a bunch of tickle traps for you, as well as trained many of the denizens of this island to tickle you if need be.”

“Excellent. I was getting bored with the routine at my castle. Head back to my airship, but take off those silly colors.”

“Yes, my liege.”

Bowser exited the pipe, finding himself in Mario's Land. Seeing that he had two ways to go, he decided it with a simple flip of a coin.

Horns. He would go west.

Coming upon a giant tree, he could see the faint glimmer of a golden coin at the top.

“Time to take care of business!” Bowser roared, rushing at the roots to find his way through.

Tree! Level 1!

Bowser climbed among the roots, finding some that were hollow. Jumping down, he saw three curious creatures... they looked like moles with drills for noses.

“How does that even work?” Bowser said, scratching his head. He didn't notices one of the moles walking up to his side and poking him in the side with the tip of the drill.

“Gaah!” Bowser said, leaping to the side, only to find another one wiggling a drill into his other side. Laughing, he backed up, unknowingly about to step on a weak spot of dirt...

GAME OVER SCENARIO

Stepping on it, he found himself falling straight in, his belly getting wedged in it.

“FUNGUS!” Bowser shouted, trying to pull himself out, but not succeeding. Looking up, he saw the moles grinning and walking up to him.

“Oh... oh fungus...” Bowser said again, half-excited. They immediately started poking at the top of his belly with their drills, wiggling them in.

“Ahahahaha! Nohohoho!” Bowser yelled, trying to bat their drills away. Every time he moved, though, they would shift their attacks to an area he was no longer protecting. They poked and wiggled as his belly, his sides, his chest, and sometimes, if he was unfortunate enough, his pits. To make matters worse, he could feel the points of drills scraping up and down his big, trapped feet.

“AHAHAAHAHA! NOHOHO! HEHEHELP!” Bowser shouted. Though to be frank, most of him meant “Please! Keep on going! Torture me silly!”

The tickling went on for hours before Bowser finally fainted, his quest failed. They took him to Wario's castle, where he was to experience much torture...

Story resume

Bowser felt his heel touch the weak spot of dirt. A moment of rage filled his mind as he realized that the moles were trying to trap him.

“GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!” Bowser roared, letting out a blast of flame. The moles quickly retreated, running underground. Snorting a puff of smoke, he kept moving on, eventually climbing out of the root.

As soon as he climbed out of root, he found a giant frog right in front of him.

“Wha?” Bowser said before the frog whipped its tongue out, licking over Bowser's belly.

“EEHEHEHE!” Bowser laughed, covering his belly, but the frog's tongue attacked his side, next. The tongue was kinda slimy and gross, but it also tickled like hell.

“Hehehey! I have stuff to do you know!” Bowser said, but he found two more tongues whipping out and grabbing his wrists, pulling them up. Looking around, he saw that two frogs had used branches as pulleys.

Bowser gulped and looked at the frog in front of him. That evil tongue snaked out and began to slurp up and down Bowser's exposed pits.

Bowser guffawed and laughed hard, eyes opening wide when he saw another frog hop towards him. Soon, both of his pits were being slurped, those evil, slimy tongues swishing up and down those exposed, sensitive hollows...

“OHOHOHOHO! NOHOHOHOHOHO!!” Bowser screamed. “OHHOHOHOHOH YEHEHEHES!” was what he really meant.

After letting them enjoy their game for a moment, he collected his strength and pulled down hard. The two unfortunate frogs flew through the air and hit each other in mid-air, detaching their tongues from Bowser's wrists. Letting out a roar, Bowser scared the rest of the frogs away.

“Heheheh... that was easy.”

And then he heard a buzzing noise as a bunch of giant dragonflies surrounded him.

“...Fungus.”

GAME OVER SCENARIO

The dragonflies divebombed him, swarming around them. Bowser swungs his arms at them, but unfortunately for him, it didn't scare any of them away.

Using the pincer claws at the ends of their tails, they began to dig them into Bowser's belly and sides, wiggling them around in circles.

“AAHAHAHAHAHA! HEHEHEEY!” Bowser yelled, trying to fend them off more. Then his wrists were grabbed by two dragon fly tails, and held above his head.

“OHOHOH NOHOHOHO!” Bowser yelled, letting out a burst of loud laughter as more claws dug at his armpits. Eventually, his legs gave from all the tickling, and he fell on his butt. Immediately, his ankles were gripped by dragonfly tails as more pincer claws dug into his soles.

Bowser laughed helplessly as the dragonflies mercilessly tortured him. And he loved it.

“I must get these for my own castle!” Bowser said, before he fainted from exhaustion. He would later wake up in the dungeon of Wario's castle...

Plot Resume

“Oh, screw this!” Bowser said, and immediately curled into a ball.

The dragonflies tried to scrape at his shell, but were unable to find purchase. Eventually, they gave up, flying away.

Bowser uncurled, and then grinned to himself.

“Just like I said... I've got to get those for my own castle.”

Climbing up the roots, he decided to take a rest, sitting against a vertical root.

Looking up, he saw a curious looking hedgehog staring at him. It looked like its spines were replaced with feather quills.

Grinning to himself, he placed his feet together.

“Bring it on...”

The hedgehog immediately complied, rolling up into a ball and rolling forward, hitting Bowser's soles and rolling against them.

Bowser put his hands on his belly and laughed hard, his feet and toes wiggling as the hedgehog's feathery quills swept over them quickly. Faster the hedgehog spinned, and louder Bowser laughed. The feather swept mercilessly down his soles, sweeping over and between his toes.

Until eventually, the hedgehog slowed to a stop, panting hard.

“Ahahaha... that was nice!” Bowser said to himself, panting lightly. Standing up, he patted the hedgehog on the back. “Good job, kid. You should consider applying at my castle!”

Resuming on his travels, the bewildered and exhausted hedgehog stared at Bowser as he left.

“What... just happened?” The little creature wondered.